I had a disagreement with a group of women who kept repeatedly talking very badly of other friends behind their backs. I considered myself very good friends with one of them, I’ll call her Emma for the sake of this post. I’d known what she was like for 5 years and tolerated it for far too long. More fool me.
I decided to distance myself from them as I’d just had enough of the constant snipes and put downs and deleted them off social media once some time had passed. They threw me to the wolves. Talked badly about me to our mutual friends. Accused me of reporting friends to social services, the lot. I suffered with terrible anxiety. My only issue is that my ds and dd attend school with one of the women’s children and they’re quite close so I can’t escape her entirely. I’ll call this woman Sally.
12 months had passed and I needed to RSVP to a party invitation so I unblocked Sally. She would then randomly pop into my inbox to discuss things she knows interests me. She never once mentioned what happened and I still felt very uncomfortable but I was civil. She then sent me a friend request and I accepted. I wasn’t sure if she was even friends with those women anymore but hoped that it would be water under the bridge.
Backstory: 3 years ago, I worked with a man who quite literally became obsessed with me. He ended up hounding me so badly in work and out. I ended up going to the police as he was stalking me (I’ve been happily married with 4 children for 12 years). Sending me messages over and over again declaring his love for me. CRAZY, awful, unnerving time for me. He thankfully moved back to his home town which is on the other side of the country.
Because I’d known Emma the longest, she knew all about my troubles with him. She’d never met him but knew who he was. I always thought it strange that he even went as far as to follow her on Instagram and was replying to all of her stories (which she showed me) but she didn’t go out of her way to block him when the rest of my friends did. Red flag?
So fast forward to now. A week ago, on Sally’s timeline pops up Emma. They were out together having drinks. Fine. But I then noticed that Sally is following my stalker!?!? (a new account of his and my profile is super locked down). I’d never mentioned him to her. Not once. She’s not just following him from her personal account but her business account too as she’s a beauty therapist. She follows less than 150 people on her personal account so why is HE one of them? From his account, he’s still living on the other side of the country. He’s still following Emma but he hasn’t followed Sally or her business back. I had a real nosey at when she started following him and it was the night the women were out having drinks. I’ve gone over it in my head and there’s absolutely no way they would ever have the opportunity to meet. All of the women are married with children.
I know that Emma felt really scorned when I removed her from my life and I know that she’s a very aggressive, spiteful, childish and vindictive woman. So much so, she told all of our mutual friends that my newborn baby was actually my stalkers and not my dh. That’s how spiteful and hateful she is.
I can’t for the LIFE of me understand why on Earth Sally is now following this man.
I’m starting to wonder if she only re-added me to have a nosey at my life and report back to Emma, Seems odd timing that they went out for dinner together and suddenly starts following a man who made my life a living hell for almost a year?
AIBU in thinking they’re out to get me? To think that they’ve clearly been sat having a good bitch about me?
Husband says I absolutely shouldn’t confront her about it and rather sit back. Keep her on my social media, smile and wave whenever I see her. Don’t for one second let her see that she’s triggered me because she has. I’m back to feeling like an anxious wreck.
On the other hand, I’m seriously considering blocking her again but I’m really scared of the backlash… again.