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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Siblings babysitting

30 replies

Laffielle · 01/02/2022 19:36

What age is it appropriate to leave an older sibling to babysit younger siblings?

Would leaving a nearly 16yo to look after a their 13yo and 10yo BU? From 7:30 until 11pm.

OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 01/02/2022 19:37

Depends on how they all get on and how the 16 ur old feels about it.

SheWoreYellow · 01/02/2022 19:37

*yr

Bratnews · 01/02/2022 19:41

I would and I would have also left them at 14, 11 and 8. So YANBU

Original poster
Laffielle · 01/02/2022 19:41

I'd say they get on fine

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/02/2022 19:42

Would you happily leave the 13yo home alone for that time?

Do you trust the 16yo to look after the 10yo, and the 10yo to respect the 16yo?

Original poster
Laffielle · 01/02/2022 19:43

The 13 yo has been left alone in the past and is OK with that.

10 yo would need help getting to sleep

OP posts:
Original poster
Laffielle · 01/02/2022 19:44

10yo respects the older sibling

OP posts:
SlipperTripper · 01/02/2022 19:45

We're going out for a friends big birthday dinner on Saturday night. 16yo is looking after 10yo. They'll be fine - they're having a pizza, and will park themselves in front of Disney+ until 16yo ushers 10yo off to bed so she can gossip on the phone.

We'll make sure younger one is knackered during the day, so she'll flake out at a reasonable time!

Will caveat with the fact that it won't be a super late night for us (home by 11ish?), we won't be drinking, and we have great neighbours who are on hand for any dramas. But I don't anticipate any dramas at all anyway!

I'd say go for it!

gianttoblerone1 · 01/02/2022 19:45

I'd say it entirely depends on the children. My colleague has an almost 18 year old that can't be left with her 10 year old brother while the mum pops to the corner shop because the 10 y/o is so destructive/violent/loves to wind her up.

DramaAlpaca · 01/02/2022 19:48

As long as they get on it's fine. I used to leave my three at similar ages because I knew the younger two would respect what DS1 asked them to do. My SIL, on the other hand, couldn't leave hers as the younger ones would run rings round the oldest.

OnlyLittleMissOrganised · 01/02/2022 19:49

Are you going to pay 16 year old? It's not actually their responsibility so they should receive some benefit from it. If so YANBU. If you aren't paying them YABU reasonable find someone else.

Original poster
Laffielle · 01/02/2022 20:07

Yes the eldest is paid

OP posts:
Santahasjoinedww · 01/02/2022 20:16

When ds was 16 his siblings were 14, 13, 11 and 5.
We went out locally. Could be home in 10 mins local...

thirstyformore · 01/02/2022 20:27

100%! I'd worry if a 16 year old couldn't look after a 10 year old. We leave our 12 and 8 years old quite regularly. Not late at night (yet) but will do when the youngest turns 9.

A 16 year old can get married and have their own baby, and will be a fully fledged adult in less than 2 years. A bit of baby sitting should be fine. And as for paying siblings....we do things for each other in our family so my dd wouldn't expect payment for staying with her brother whilst we went out.

Chickychoccyegg · 01/02/2022 20:30

Of course, i left mine when younger than that

Afolnerd · 01/02/2022 20:33

My dd14 babysits her younger siblings aged 6 and 7 no problems.
She often tells us to go out as she wants the money!

Ds 17 is in the house so in an emergency she could go to him and ask for help, but she copes fine getting them to bed etc and enjoys the responsibility and the £

rifling · 01/02/2022 20:35

My ds17 doesn't get paid but does babysit his 12 year old siblings occasionally. I think it depends on your children and also how far away you'll be.

notanothertakeaway · 01/02/2022 21:26

@thirstyformore

100%! I'd worry if a 16 year old couldn't look after a 10 year old. We leave our 12 and 8 years old quite regularly. Not late at night (yet) but will do when the youngest turns 9.

A 16 year old can get married and have their own baby, and will be a fully fledged adult in less than 2 years. A bit of baby sitting should be fine. And as for paying siblings....we do things for each other in our family so my dd wouldn't expect payment for staying with her brother whilst we went out.

9 year old is young, I'd say too young to be left with a 12 / 13 year old while you have a late night out
Trolleedollee · 01/02/2022 21:50

Yes it’s fine and no I don’t pay, it’s called being a family

feliciabirthgiver · 01/02/2022 21:59

Yes if everyone is fine with this in your family then I'm sure it will be ok. 11 years between eldest and youngest here and eldest has been babysitting since she was 16. Wouldn't think to pay her it's just one of those responsibilities she's taken on to play her part, we often leave money for pizza delivery or some other nice treat so mum and dad going out is always seen as a treat night for our two.

PinkSyCo · 01/02/2022 22:11

After reading all of your posts I see absolutely no problem with that at all.

rookiemere · 01/02/2022 22:29

I think it's fine but I would point out that a nearly 16 year old is in fact 15.
I would have one non drinker so you can get home in case of emergency.

DiddyHeck · 01/02/2022 22:30

@rookiemere

I think it's fine but I would point out that a nearly 16 year old is in fact 15. I would have one non drinker so you can get home in case of emergency.
This is what taxis are for as not everyone can drive or owns a car anyway.
rookiemere · 01/02/2022 22:36

Still perhaps worth one person being sober enough to handle an emergency.

honeylulu · 01/02/2022 22:49

Our eldest has babysat for youngest since he was 14 (she was 5). He is very responsible with her and she behaves well for him. We've always paid him for an evening - not as much as an external sitter but enough to keep him happy. We always check he is willing and happy to do it - sometimes he has his own plans.

You lot who don't pay are mean! My parents used to make me babysit for free when I'd rather have been out with my own friends. I hated it and would never do that to my own kids. Children are the parents' responsibility not the siblings job - look after them yourself or pay up!