AIBU to feel belittled by my DH?

[4oclocknap]

I’ve been invited to teach something and I’m really excited. It’s something I know how to do on a basic level and people pay me for the things I produce with this method. I mentioned to my DH that I’m excited to design a course in it, to teach. He told me that I can’t charge money for it as I’m not good enough and I need more training and years of experience. My best friend doesn’t think this is the case as she often teaches in similar settings things that she doesn’t have any experience of. I feel belittled and like I’ve not got any competency in anything, if what I need to teach is more than I’ve currently got. It made me feel a bit hopeless. I’m trying my best to ignore DH and design a course for beginners so people’s expectations aren’t too high. Am I being unreasonable to feel like he was belittling me?

Ignore him and carry on designing your course.

Is he always undermining?

It's hard to really tell without knowing specifics, who invited you to teach and where? I wouldn't like to pay for a course by someone who was a beginner themselves either I guess but yeah hard to say on this one without knowing more information I think

Is he usually this disparaging? My ex was like this about everything (but heaven forbid you criticised him) and it was soul destroying.

Spouses are supposed to support each other. He is doing the opposite. Is this unusual?

I guess if depends how he phrased it, what it is etc. Is he belittling you or pointing out reality, or suggesting your expectations are a bit high.? It is exciting to be doing something new and you should absolutely try it, but personally I would be hesitant to hand over my hard earned money to be taught something by someone who only has a basic knowledge of whatever it is. I would prefer someone with a more in depth knowledge

Hmm depends.

Who invited you to teach and are they making it explicitly clear you only have 'basic' knowledge?

Its really hard to see if he is just been honest and worred about the potenial fallout or a dick.

Most people don't want to pay for someone who knows just the basics to teach them something, even at a beginner level. It could end up back firing on you and whoever invited you.

It doesn’t sound like he’s very supportive, that much is true.

But it’s hard for us to comment without any specifics.

You say ”It’s something I know how to do on a basic level”

What does ‘basic level’ mean. And will people want to be taught by someone who only has a basic level?

That seems odd to me, but then again you’ve been invited to teach whatever it is, so you must be reasonably good?!

If people pay for things you produce then I’d say you are good enough, does he put you down often?

Go for it and enjoy,

It’s a craft activity in a local craft shop. It’s a mix of critical and supportive. If he’s in a weird mood he’ll see problems with what I want to do. This makes me feel hopeless. But he does it to himself and he told me he couldn’t help it, just how he thinks. He told me when he does it to himself he can see past the problems eventually and get stuff done. When he does it to me I just feel depressed.

Ignore him!!

So what if your not ready yet, you won’t know that until you try, then next time you will know where to improve but i rekon you will be ok anyway. Do it!! What’s the worst that can happen.

Have fun too!!

I wouldn't want to pay to be taught to do a craft by someone who only knows the basics, to be fair.

@Onthefloor2

Ignore him!!

So what if your not ready yet, you won’t know that until you try, then next time you will know where to improve but i rekon you will be ok anyway. Do it!! What’s the worst that can happen.

Have fun too!!

Well people could complain which would may impact OP and the other person's business.

As I said, hard to tell if he is realistic or just awful. Only he (and maybe op) know if he just wants to be a dick or is trying to be realistic.

Well if he does it to himself as well then he is not belittling you, he is starting from either a negative point if view, or considering the pitfalls first depending on how kindly you wish to phrase it. Some people start the opposite by being very optimistic and considering all the benefits first.

I agree some people have a half empty way of looking at things but don't mean any harm. If he doesn't this to himself it's not personal just his way. He has a point really I'd expect an expert to teach a beginner's class.

A good dh would be encouraging and supporting you, not undermining you.

I have done this with various crafts, such as needle felting and making wire and bead jewellery, I started out as a volunteer assistant at an art and crafts festival, gained a bit of experience, and knowledge of the basics. then I was asked to take classes to raise money for a charity, and also did classes at a local library. Your husband is being unnecessarily negative, what is important in teaching simple skills, is patience and an ability to demonstrate and communicate the techniques in a way that the class can understand

If OP is good enough to do this craft to a level where people pay her for the products she makes, she is definitely good enough at the skill to teach it.