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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it because I’m fat?

63 replies

Creeeture · 01/02/2022 13:00

Been job searching for almost 13 years. I’ve had the odd temp job and one proper job that didn’t work out but never had a proper job since. I get interviews weekly. Always get rejected or no reply at all. I’m on benefits and have been for years.

Only thing I can think of is that I’m obese. I’m 5ft 7in and 19 stone. I can’t think what else could be wrong with me?? I have qualifications to level 2 and some admin experience from temp jobs.
Im applying for admin and retail.

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 01/02/2022 17:13

I suspect it's more lack of confidence and the fact that you don't have any recent experience in any field, unfortunately.

And the longer you go without working, the harder it will be to find work. It's a vicious cycle.

sanbeiji · 01/02/2022 17:17

Sorry is there some huge backstory you’re not telling us about?
It’s impossible to not have found an FT job for 13 years. At the very least you could have gone for caring and h

sanbeiji · 01/02/2022 17:19

hospitality

Admin and retail are competitive. If you’ve only been doing temp jobs for 13 years people are going to wonder why you never had a FT job, any job.

It might be good to take one and see how you get on. Although it’s beneath you and you have qualifications

sanbeiji · 01/02/2022 17:20

*also above is assuming you’ve been looking And not disabled, a sahp or anything

Overthebow · 01/02/2022 17:28

It’ll be your lack of experience and 13 year gap. This can’t be helped and many people do have gaps, but you need to show how you have used the time in your CV and interviews. What have you been doing during these 13 years to gain skills and and develop? Have you done any volunteering, or additional courses and training? Anything which shows initiative and willing to learn. If you have, make sure you include it in your application and use it as examples during interviews. If you haven’t, then this is your main problem and to be honest you’ve wasted 13 years.

Inthesameboatatmo · 01/02/2022 17:59

Can you sign up for some volunteering and look at free government unskill courses available at level 3 .

Ineedaduvetday · 01/02/2022 18:12

OP you said you had a job that didn't work out. What happened? Maybe a slightly different type of job might be in order?

Hont1986 · 01/02/2022 18:19

Size discrimination is real but the overwhelming problem is your lack of work history.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/02/2022 19:17

I had an eight year gap and got the second job I applied for, getting to #2 on interview at the first.

What I did have though, was eight years in which I'd improved my qualifications both generally and in a more closely related area and had voluntary work ranging from Brownie leader, Community Music, Conservation Work and Adult Literacy/Numeracy. I also took a punt on getting a recognised First Aid Qualification.

That meant I'd 'done something' in the happy gaps between being ill.

By the time my next application round came along, I'd also got some decent work history where I'd developed some new skills and a shedload of clickthrough to the questions at the end certificates to add to the list.

I'm now another three jobs along and I'm still taking courses that could help at some undesignated point in the future.

Have you considered seeing whether there is a free/cheap introductory first aid course nearby? Some local authorities offer free Mental Health First Aid training, too. Or just spending a day/afternoon each week volunteering with a conservation trust of some kind?

It doesn't just give you something pleasant to do, going out in fresh air, you can learn new skills, you get used to meeting new people (as that's something that falls by the wayside when you're broke and at home), they might provide training - I learned how to use some pretty heavy duty agricultural equipment with mine, which isn't relevant for my job - but the interviewer was most impressed that the short, fat, old bird had recently got herself a chainsaw certificate and had been trained to use brush and stump cutters.

Svara · 01/02/2022 19:25

It would be that you are long term unemployed that is the reason. Is there a reason you are only looking for two types of jobs? Have you signed up with all local job agencies and been willing to take any work? Even temporary (not just temp to perm) would be beneficial for experience. Have you considered care work or hospitality. There is plenty of work available.

Darbs76 · 01/02/2022 19:26

I can honestly say in all recruitment I do and that’s a lot that someone’s size never comes into it. This is an office job, and it doesn’t matter to me what age, gender, sex, heritage or size someone is, it’s what they say that I score them on

Luredbyapomegranate · 01/02/2022 19:39

No - it won't be that. There is discrimination against overweight people of course, but a much bigger problem will be people's perceptions of your lack of work experience, after that will come your lack of confidence... your weight will be trailing in third if relevant at all.

Firstly, would you consider contacting a charity like Smartworks or Dress for Success - they provide coaching as well as clothes for women seeking work, and ongoing support during your hunt. They can provide advice on how to update any skills that might need it.

Secondly, it's really important you just get into work - would you consider warehouse work? Or if you have a driving license, would you consider delivery work - lots of opportunities there.

Thirdly, to build confidence, energy and fitness I think you should contact your GP and find out if they can give you free gym passes - a lot do. If you do want to loose weight, then they will likely also have a weight loss support programme they can refer to you.

If you think CBT could help with your confidence your GP can put you on the waiting list for this too, and suggest some online courses in the meantime.

KatherineJaneway · 02/02/2022 07:03

On occasions it could be your size but it will likely be your spotty work history. In interviews you may have much less recent examples to pull from compared to other candidates. Also pp is right, admin and retail jobs are sought after.

I think volunteering work sounds a good option for you to gain experience. Get someone to review your CV for you, ensure at interviews you are well groomed and project confidence, even if you do not feel it inside. Rehearse your answers to frequently asked questions. Good luck

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