Ex had dc this weekend and has just told me he was feeling ill but had to have them anyway because I'd made him (I didn't - I didn't even know he felt off because he didn't tell me 🙄)
He is asking whether if he feels unwell again he still has to have the dc and I don't know what to say.
He sees them once a month (his choice). He was under the weather - not full on sick since he managed to collect and bring them back and take them out while they were there.
One part of me feels that it's not nice for the dc when they see him so infrequently if he isn't 100% when they are there.
But they are children who find deviation from plans very hard to cope with and would also find it very hard for contact to be cancelled at the last minute (and have done so when he has done so in the past)
Another part feels that I don't have any choice and have them whether I'm well or sick for the vast majority of the time.
He is and was very controlling and manipulative and is quite capable of lying about being unwell because he thinks it will interfere with me having child free plans.
It's not so much AIBU because I don't know what to think, more what position is reasonable?
A) he should have them regardless unless he is completely debilitated - can't get up and function - unwell
B) he is right to cancel even if he just has a bit of a cold