To say I can't afford to pay for a divorce

[Cluelessat32]

I separated from my ex nearly 2 years ago. We have separate homes now. I'm still working part time due to childcare issues and finding full time work that pays any better than part time employment, when childcare costs are considered.

My ex is pushing for a divorce, and has asked me to pay half which I get isn't unreasonable, but that money is not forthcoming at the moment. He has remortgaged his home, so has been able to feel up his part of the expense, but I do not have that capability.

As we all know, things are tight, my car needs repairs before the next MOT, my washing machine is on the blink, every month is a constant worry and feeling of penny counting. I worry about April, when I am faced with increased NI, council tax, rent, service charge, student loan repayments, etc etc. I'm currently making my meals last 4 nights, I'm trying my hardest to live as frugally as possible.

He is now accusing me of being obstructive. He earns more than twice my income. What should I do?

You go to a solicitor! You have kids (together I assume), he earns twice your income, 50/50 may or may not be appropriate in these circumstances. I understand that a solicitor costs money too but even 1 hour of their time will be worth it - there are some ideas here as well : www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-7974083/Heres-12-ways-reduce-defer-pay-legal-fees-little-no-money.html

If he is that desperate to divorce he can pay for it all. Ask citizens advice if you can get some free legal advice.

You can't magic up the money!

How did you sort out finances? Did you see a solicitor when you spilt?

Have you sorted pensions etc?

@GabriellaMontez, no we just sold the house and split through the middle after joint debt was settled. I took most of the contents of the house to be fair, and he does pay CM.

After managing to get out of a domestic abuse situation, I was jyst happy to be free (ha ha, is that ever the case if you have children with these people). There wasn't a huge amount to seek. At the time I got some free legal advice. Because our marriage was short (though our relationship had been 14 years) she said I was unlikely to be entitled to any of his pension, and we are only in our 30s, so those pensions haven't accrued a great deal. I have a MoD pension and he is a teacher.

With regards to finances, he initially threatened that he was entitled to more of the house, as he had been paying more into the bills since out daughter had been born, but that was only 100 per month, for the period I'd been working part time, so about 18 months. Prior to that I'd been the main earner, and had saved all the deposit on the house and paid more into the joint account

The solicitor did say I would likely be entitled to more of the share of the equity in the house, but as at the time that probably looked like 2000 at most, it didn't seem worth the legal expenses and bad feeling it would leave. At this point I was still deluded that we might have a functional relationship going forward.

So it sounds as if you're legally separated and don't need a solicitor ?

How much does he think it will be?

Tell him you'll split the costs after 5 years when it becomes cheaper (maybe free if you're claiming benefits?)

If he wants to do it earlier its on him. You won't try to stop it but won't be paying.

Clearly you can't afford it so there's not much to be said. Could this be his latest way of abusing you?

Is there a reason he wants to do this now? Getting married?

A divorce isn't that expensive. About £550 I think if it's just a formality and you're both in agreement. Whoever files has to pay then can try and claim back some of the cost from the other party - which in this case wouldn't happen as it would put you in financial hardship.

Let him file!

Go through Wikiforce. It’s cheap and quick. He sounds like a right knob so if you’ve got any way whatsoever of getting the money together then I’d just pay it so you’re not shackled to him in that way.

Wikivorce

You can apply online for only the court fee of 550. Unless you need consent orders etc you don't need a solicitor. 225 each or he can pay aLl of it as the applicant