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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I overreacting to this

20 replies

groundhogday22 · 31/01/2022 18:51

Hi I'd like to know if I'm BU here. I'm probably a bit sensitive as dc all have covid here and I'm trying to work from home and do exams as part of my job too as well as help out with their school work too.

Tonight my husband got home from work and started making a few digs about the rubbish not been taken out to the recycling bin yet funnily enough didn't spot I'd done the food shop and made dinner 😫 I let it go but then I was telling him something funny that happened today and he was like wait a minute I can't hear you as he walked off to do something. He comes back in then starts doing something else rather than pick up on the conversation and I just happened to say I feel you don't listen to me. It's a regular occurrence not a once off but I probably brought it up at the wrong time as he then started saying "jeez the world doesn't stop just because you start to speak". Am I overreacting here? I'm probably tired and taking every word to heart here but it was the way he said it that stung and it's not the first time he's made comments like this.
Thanks

OP posts:

Cherrysoup · 31/01/2022 19:01

He sounds stunningly rude. If my dh spoke to me like that, I’d be extremely worried about why he was being like this. Is he normally this rude?

LittleMG · 31/01/2022 20:33

No I would be hurt by that too

username1293948 · 31/01/2022 20:34

Yanbu

Sparkletastic · 31/01/2022 20:35

He treats you with rudeness and disrespect. What are his good points?.

NameChangesforNoman · 31/01/2022 20:35

Dick move.

Ionlydomassiveones · 31/01/2022 20:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

MrsSkylerWhite · 31/01/2022 20:37

Been married for over 30 years. We just don’t, ever, speak to each other that way.
Unacceptable. He needs to apologise and/or explain what the hell is going on.

lady725516 · 31/01/2022 20:38

That's really rude. I wouldn't do this to my dh or anyone else who was having a conversation with me!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/01/2022 20:38

You’re not overreacting.

Wilkolampshade · 31/01/2022 20:38

Nope, that's shit behaviour from him and not at all within OK expectations. You are NOT being unreasonable.

MooSakah · 31/01/2022 20:39

Incredibly rude of him. A really poor example for your children.

twominutesmore · 31/01/2022 20:41

Don't do anything hasty because two me that just sounds like two stressed people.

You are wfh, studying and looking after poorly children so we're probably looking forward to dp getting home for a chat and some adult company.

He had been in work all day and walked in to your funny story while he was trying to do a couple of other things (assume when he moved away to do something it was something that needed doing).

You feel like he doesn't listen. He feels like you expect him to stop what he's doing to listen.

Get the kids in bed. Eat dinner together. Talk it through.

RedRobyn2021 · 31/01/2022 20:41

This would hurt my feelings too

I would probably have it out

What is your problem?
Why are you being so unpleasant and rude?
You've really hurt my feelings speaking to me like that.

TurquoiseDragon · 31/01/2022 20:43

Based on the OP alone, I'd be re-evauating this relationship. He's stunning rude and immature. He's also not showing OP any courtesy or even basic respect.

TurquoiseDragon · 31/01/2022 20:45

@twominutesmore

Don't do anything hasty because two me that just sounds like two stressed people.

You are wfh, studying and looking after poorly children so we're probably looking forward to dp getting home for a chat and some adult company.

He had been in work all day and walked in to your funny story while he was trying to do a couple of other things (assume when he moved away to do something it was something that needed doing).

You feel like he doesn't listen. He feels like you expect him to stop what he's doing to listen.

Get the kids in bed. Eat dinner together. Talk it through.

I can work all day and be really tired on returning home. I don't take it out on others, like my ex would do. It simply isn't acceptable.

Bumpy23 · 31/01/2022 20:45

Nope- yanbu!!
You need to talk properly before you have divorce lawyers on speed dial.

Bumpy23 · 31/01/2022 20:46

Not you need to talk properly, I meant you need to talk to each other and work it through!!

HikingforScenery · 31/01/2022 20:50

Wow, that’s really rude. sorry OP

WonderfulYou · 31/01/2022 21:05

It’s hard to tell just from your OP.

He was busy and you wanted to tell him something funny and got annoyed because he was doing something - he didn’t need to be rude but I would have got annoyed too.

You sound tired and overwhelmed.
Does he pull his weight or do you do more than your fair share?

twominutesmore · 31/01/2022 21:34

"I can work all day and be really tired on returning home. I don't take it out on others, like my ex would do. It simply isn't acceptable."

Agreed. But he wasn't rude initially. He moved away to do something and was told that he never listens. Then he was rude. So it's really hard to tell just from op, I think, whether his snappy response was unforgivable or even just a tiny bit justified.

I don't think I'm rude but I do like a few minutes to gather my thoughts when I walk through the door. I could have got it all wrong of course but just offering a slightly different perspective.

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