Unfriendly neighbours

[Lemonnata]

DH and I live in a cul-de-sac in a lovely area, have been here for just over 3 years.

Neighbours are all great apart from one elderly couple, we've always been friendly but have to initiate greetings every single time otherwise they blank us. They are very friendly with all the other neighbours.

The husband on bin days brings in everyone's bins except ours, around ten neighbouring bins, from the communal area right to their gardens, leaving our lonely little bin on it's own which I see when I get home from work (I've seen him do this when I've been working from home). It's so obvious. Another neighbour sometimes beats him to it and brings in everyone's, including ours.

When I was outside cleaning my car the wife went from door to door pointedly delivering Christmas cards, missing us out.

I'm not THAT bothered but do find it irritating and weird when we've been nothing but pleasant. My DP says not to let it get to me (he's way more easygoing than me!) but it annoys me.

We are the only people that rent in the street and my husband is Eastern European. WWYD, if anything?

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

That you've just used the phrase the wife puts me on their side.

The wife?

Is she an object?

Hopefully you’ll come back and apologise to the OP, @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy?

Aww your poor lonely little bin
Seriously though those neighbours are at best rude, mean and stuck up and at worst racist too. I wouldn’t bother trying with them anymore, they’re really not worth it.

@marqueses

I wouldnt do anything, I'm not bothered if my neighbours speak to me and I'd find the bin thing a bit weird, I don't need someone moving my bin.

My neighbour and I put out and take in bins for each other. I don't see what's strange about it.

Sounds like they are either racist or feel superior because you rent.

We own our home (with a mortgage - largely because we're old enough to have been able to get on the property ladder, that's all) and, if we're talking about perceived superiority in status, I feel very financially inferior to renters - as we certainly couldn't afford to rent anything like an (average-sized) house like ours in our (average) area.

Has she known all the other neighbours much longer?

My neighbour and I put out and take in bins for each other. I don't see what's strange about it.

I think a lot of people will do that for one or two of their neighbours, if they have a good relationship - or to help out other elderly and/or disabled neighbours who can't/struggle to do it for themselves; but I think it's quite unusual (and even a bit controlling) to do it for your whole street and, much worse, your whole street except for just one house where the 'foreign-looking renters' live.

@lightnesspixie

Play their game. Beat them out to the bins and bring them all in bar theirs. And have a good chuckle while you're doing it. Then organise a street party and invite everyone except them. The bloody fools are nasty snobby xenophobes.

they are being passive aggresive but i wouldnt do that. just ignore. everyone sees what they are doing.

It's probably down to something so infantile and stupid that you never even realised it occurred. Something innocuous like you blocked their car in for 20 mins when you were moving in 3 years ago. Even if they weren't planning on using it, they just expect you to ask their permission first and will forever hold a grudge because you didn't assume they were the gatekeepers for your street. My guess would be that they are "that" neighbour.

@marqueses

I wouldnt do anything, I'm not bothered if my neighbours speak to me and I'd find the bin thing a bit weird, I don't need someone moving my bin.

agree.

Brian from winterton avenue 🤣🤣🤣

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

We rent. It will be the renting.
Your barely a citizen in some peoples eyes, must be claiming benefits that’s why your renting.
There’s no point investing time talking or being nice to you.

I empathise. It’s shit not being part of a community

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

That you've just used the phrase the wife puts me on their side.

The wife?

Is she an object?

Did you miss 'The husband' or are you just not bothered about that?

I would try to rush out next bin day, put everyone's away except theirs. Do it a few times. Let them know how it feels.

But in all honesty there's nothing you can do to make them like you. I suspect it's because you're renters. They don't see you as long term neighbours maybe.

Ignore them, petty people. And stop saying hi to them, just blank them.

Just smile and be polite, don't stoop to their level.
If you are friendly with any other the other neighbours maybe ask if you've done anything to upset them, even unknowingly? Personally, I'd cover them in saccharine sweetness!

My neighbours next door but one are like this, the man will say hello if he has to, the woman totally blanks me.
At first we thought it was because we are younger than everyone else that lives around us, but then new people moved in next door who are our age and the nasty neighbours seem to get on famously with them.
The only thing we can think of is they think i'm not white (I am but don't look it if that makes sense?) I know they have asked other neighbours where I'm from.

My view on it now is fuck'em, I'm not so desperate for friends that I want to be talking to the (probably racist) miserable sods.

We ignore our next door neighbours as they tried to half inch a portion of our garden after we'd lived here for over 10 years. I'm delighted he doesn't speak to us but he is definitely the type that thinks cos he's older and been here longer that he is "in charge" and knows more than anyone else.

I would be polite and no more and really not give it head space. As others have said - the rest of the street will notice how they treat you and it makes them look bad not you.

Maybe you've piased them off somehow, people never seem to think maybe they've done something to annoy or offend others.

We have neighbours like that. They'll talk animatedly in the street to all the other neighbours but ignore us.

At first we always said hello to them but now we just ignore. We had a really strange encounter with the wife one day. We were returning from a walk with our dog and she was coming up the hill toward us without her husband. She literally went into a random driveway and hid behind the hedge! She obviously couldn't face ignoring us whilst without her husband.

Don't worry yourself about it OP - there are some really strange people about!

By the way I think your neighbour sounds very odd... bringing in ten bins on collection day isn't normal behaviour.

It's the rental thing. Ignore. Just been pleasant and friendly to everyone. If it makes you feel better my DM and df bought a house in the 80s which the previous people had lived in for twenty years.. neighbour s either side refused to talk to my parents and in fact one called the police as the new she was dropped off on the lawn on Thursday night, my df was working so plan was to move it on the Saturday. The years went past.....each of those neighbour s became vvvv good friend s over the 40 years my parents lived there. The shed complainer even gave my sister and I birthday present s every year and made huge fuss of me on my 18th. These neighbour s made my childhood but DM said it was awful for the first five years. Just be polite and friendly x

I'm willing to bet your neighbours read the Daily Mail OP. I can spot their type a mile off. If it wasn't you it would be someone else, they will be enjoying having someone to be unpleasant to - people like that are just poisonous. Try not to let it bother you, everyone on that estate will have the measure of them.