Not to trust people who gossip a lot?

[Enjoyingwinter]

Aibu to think that if a person gossips a lot and runs other people down a lot to you, then they probably gossip about you behind your back too?

My in laws always gossip and bitch about their other dcs partners. It's not just a little, it's their main topic of conversation and it's always very hateful and spiteful. They probably do have a point with some of what they say, but they do not see their own faults or their own dc's faults. They always blame the husbands/wives/partners.

I have told dh that they shouldn't be doing this and that they obviously go to his siblings and bitch about me too.

I give gossips the widest berth. If they gossip to you, they'll gossip about you.

Yes I would expect you're right. If they're bitching about everyone else to you then chances are they're bitching about you to everyone else.

YANBU. Gossips are poisonous.

If they tell it to you, they’ll tell it about you. As my old mum would say.

100% they will be gossiping about you too.

YANBU. My grandmother was like this. She had a lot of grandsons and their various partners were constantly gassed about in extreme negative terms. 'Aren't her legs fat?' 'That colour doesn't suit her.' 'She's got such a big chin.' 'I'd have expected her to be pregnant by now.' and so on. To anyone who would listen.

Oh and she could not keep lurid medical information or events to herself. I'm still scarred by a particularly gruelling and detailed conversation about the next-door-but-one man's rectal prolapse.

Absolute gasbag and no discretion or kindness in her at all, unless you were a boy child under five (to whom she played the apple-cheeked granny to perfection). She didn't have a good word to say about anyone. Honestly, it was no tragedy when she died.

Yep, with gossips I just listen, never talk, and don’t trust them as far as I could throw them. They 100% gossip about you too. I don’t let it worry me, they’re usually idiots.