( I posted in a different section but thought I'd get more responses/ advice in this section:) )
Hi just looking for a little advice, I will give you about of a brief overview on mines and my MIL relationship. We get on well but we in no way have a close relationship, I fell pregnant with my first child less than 3 months of being with my partner so maybe that's part of the reason; because we never really got to know each other. I feel she sometimes her personality changes depending on what mood she is in, I will admit I am a sensitive person and perhaps I do over analyse things abit too much, I want to believe her heart is in the right place and that she means well but sometimes her comments and little digs are too much and I'm beginning to feel like I'm not good enough for my children, it is making me depressed, it's also making me really dislike my mother in law and hate every thing she does, which I hate. My partner isn't much help as he jumps to her defence even when I'm just explaining to him that what she said was bang out of order, he literally sees no wrong in what she does. I will give some examples of what she has done in the past and recently that have hurt my feelings and that I feel are over stepping the mark.
- Whenever we visit and I'm changing my son she will say things like " put some nappy cream on him"
"Just let him have his nappy off to get abit of fresh air" "aren't you going to put a vest underneath his clothes" I could go on for days about the comments and unwanted suggestions she makes, but she makes me feel like I don't know what I'm doing!
- I am currently pregnant with my 3rd little monkey and my 2nd born will only be 2.4yr when little one arrives and I just want to point out that it wasn't a suggestion I was TOLD that I would use my 2nd borns pram and not buy a double and she would purchase us a buggy board, I said thank you but me and my partner have already decided we need a double buggy because I don't drive and need to walk 2 ish miles to nursery for my son so I thought it was unfair to make him stand if his legs would happen to get tired. She brought it up to partner again when I wasn't around and then again when I was and my partner kindly said " thanks mum and we appreciate you wanting to help us but we need a double buggy because we know that Noah won't want to stand for long" to which she replied very smart and cheekily saying " you are the parents and you need to tell him that he will have to stand on the board"
- We were on holiday and my son who is 2 was getting abit overwhelmed with all the people and getting frustrated that he couldn't go into the water where the ducks were and when he chucked himself to the floor I went to pick him up and she said " don't pick him up just leave him on the floor he will come out of it" I said he needed a cuddle and that's what I will give him, he soon settled now and was fine, later on that night he was getting restless in his pram and wanted to walk but I tried to keep him in the pram for a few more minutes I tired to give him his toy truck but he was getting so upset he made himself sick, so I decided to give him a cuddle and told him that If he wanted to walk he must take mummy's hand and MIL said " you need to stop giving him his own way all the time, I know it's hard but he will soon learn he has to sit in his pram" I then ignored her because I was about to snap!
- We were all sat around the breakfast table and my partners auntie said that my son was very smart for being non verbal I took this as a compliment until MIL said " he must take that from the Murray's" ( Murray is her maiden name ) to which everyone just looked at her because I think everyone could tell I wasn't happy at her trying to embarrass me in front of people.
- I cooked her and 8 other people breakfast with SIL to which she laughed and said " these young people don't have a clue on how to cook" to which I said well make it yourself next time :)
- She told me she had been snooping on my fb and that she saw photos when I was skinny I just thought to myself what an absolute b*tch.
She also then made a comment about if my partner wasn't her son and she was 10 years younger she would go for him herself, that comment made me feel uncomfortable I'm not going to lie.
Sorry for the long post but I just feel like my partner makes me feel like I'm over sensitive and that she's just trying to help us, he knows everything she says to me and he says "she won't mean it in that way she was only joking" but I don't take it that way.