to be a bit meh about charity gifts?

[WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS]

I know, this is probably controversial and some people are going to think I am really mean spirited etc. But they do piss me off a bit. I mean I have no problem with someone not buying me a present, or saying "we are not going to buy presents this year we are going to donate money to charity". But people seem to have latched on to the idea as a way of advertising their benevolence while not having to have the imagination to think of a present. Plus it just a couple of click on the internet, jobs a good'un. Minimal time, minimal effort.

Why not say "we are not buying presents this year we are giving money to charity, but we still thought of you so have this home made fudge, we put a lot of time and effort into it, Merry Christmas"

Don't give the money to charity and make out like you are doing it as a big favour to me! I already give money to charity every month, I don't need you to do it on my behalf! Do it for yourself. And make me some fudge or biscuits instead dammit

Try my biscuits first. You may prefer the goat after all

Quite agree Bumperlicious - it should be up to you whether you give to charity.

(Please can someone tell me what MEH stands for?)

It was me! I started the thread.
Basically I think if everyone agrees beforehand, fine - we do not need stuff, everyone benefits really - but if you don't tell people and just spring it on them it is bad form because people do work hard on giving nice presents in our family.
I completely agree about the total lack of effort involved - what a bloody easy way out when you know that the other person is going to be thinking/planning/shopping/spending on you (as was the case with us).
I don't think it's about charity at all, sometimes.....
I think these gifts can be a total power trip.
(But most of the time are lovely and just the right thing.)

Just found the other thread (sorry to be a bore!) I just thing they are a bit "ooh look we are very benevolent and altruistic - we give to charity" yeah, but you are no more out of pocket than you would have been if you had bought me a normal present!

Oh and foofi "meh" is onomatopoeic, a sound expressing emotion somewhere between "don't see what all the fuss is about" to "mildly hacked off but too polite to say so!" See a "meh" says a thousand words!

this was the thread i thought of

It seems that many recipients of the goats are not best pleased with their gifts either ...

BBC link

I think it is OK to give charity gifts if the recepient is someone who likes that kind of thing. If you give a charity gift to someone who actually likes gifty things, then you are heading for a disaster!

I agree with you Bumper and Prism. But then I do think that advertising your own charitable nature is rather self-serving, whoever is doing it - be it 'gifts' like this, or Billionaires giving press-launch laser-shows to announce they are giving 2% of their fortune to charidee.

I was going to give charity gifts this year (ended up getting no gifts at all as I went into early false labour the day before we were all meant to be meeting up but I always accompany them with a box of chocolates or some kind of a treat (bottle of wine, some nice cheese etc), and only get charity gifts for those who haven't asked for anything, or when asked have come up with no ideas, and certainly not for children.

I prefer to choose my own charity that means something to me and hate these charity gifts.

Would prefer to say no presents and agree each person will donate to their charity instead. However we only buy for nieces and nephews and MIL/FIL so never gone down this route.

oh I hate these charity gifts

buy em for yourself

it's not your family's responsibility to assuage your middle-class guilt

if someone came up to me and said "We'd like to give money to your favourite charity for Christmas" fair enough

but Oxfam? I'm sorry but with a disabled daughter who has received help with therapy and toys from a couple of lovely charities, and a family member lost to cancer, Oxfam are one of the last charities I hold dear

Godbless Ashie is the finest name I've heard in a long while (quoted in link) D'you think s/he was so named because of the surname sounding like a sneeze?!

I'm sort of repeating myself from the other thread, but yes, there can be a 'holier than thou' attitude to buying charity gifts.

It just seems odd to me that you would show up, declare you've bought someone a charity gift, and leave with their carefully thought out and saved for gift. It's mean, frankly.

And I'll choose what charity I give to, thanks.

"This year, we haven't brought you a present, we have donated some money to the Conservative Party instead."

Jesus got gold, frankincence and myrrh, not a fridge magnet saying 'someone bought me a goat, a loo and a hoe.'

I have done (the oxfam thing) to ds's teacher. But I reckon she gets enough other crap from people

Why do people require other people to spend time and effort and thought on presents for them at christmas thought?

Just because you're prepared to go around nightmare shopping malls or high streets or whatever, why should you demand that other people do the same for you?

I wouldn't have either the time or inclination to make fudge tbh. I am a lazy arse.

It seems to me that the thing you're complaining about is a lack of thought and effort. But how is that different to my mates who go to the supermarket and buy eight bottles of port and eight portions of stilton, because it's a no-brainer? (and actually, it's a good present - I don't mind that they haven't thought abobut it! )

LOL at donating to the Conservative party. I do agree about that aspect of it, if someone's going to donate to a charity on my behalf, I'd like it to be a charity which I support.

I think it's wrong to claim that giving a charity gift is always a lack of thoughtfulness.

I have begged my family to give us charity gifts. We have a tiny house and if I acquire more stuff, I would prefer it to be stuff I have chosen. But they have said to me "if you can't unwrap it, it's not a present" and so the quantity of things in my house that aren't quite what I would have chosen goes up and up and up. I am not ungrateful for the time and care they spend chosing things for me and DH, but I wish they'd try to see my point of view sometimes.

Nearly all my friends now give us charity gifts - we give them charity gifts in return if they indicate they would like them and not otherwise.

Essentially, gift giving shouldn't make you feel good - it should make the recipient feel good. It's thoughtful to give people something they want, whether it's a charity gift or a box of fudge or something bought in a shop.

Dear Kitty. I am a reformed clutterbug. Chuck the stuff out then!! I took three big bags to the charity shop last week. Now when I buy something new I try to give the old one away.

When I emigrated to the US I had to get ALL my possessions including furniture in a 20 foot container. I spent weeks giving stuff away and selling on eBay.

Then when I got to the US, customs wouldn't release it until my visa got sorted out. So I lived out of a suitcase for six months.

It is amazing how little you need, I never missed any of it, not one item.