What would you have done if it was your mum ?

[surreymum89]

My mum has been having an issue with something for a while , her partner , who I don't know well at all(met twice in person) has been saying to her for a while he could help with this problem, my mum sent me a message tonight saying could I message her partner and say thank you for helping with the issue she is having ,she thinks this will encourage him to follow through on what he has been saying, I don't really want to get involved but I know this is affecting her and she is holding hope out for what he is promising, so I said yes , within a minute she's saying to me have you sent the message , I replied just give me a minute I didn't know you wanted it doing right now ( I am getting the children to bed at this point) , so I go to write this message but go back to her to clarify whether she wants me to just thank him for his help in general around this issue (because he has been helping in smaller ways recently) or thank him for promising the specific actions he has been saying he will take , she replies 'forget it' 'do nothing' and then an hour or so later a blunt 'night' whereas normally would be more affection on a closing message.

So aibu to think she is hard work or was I being difficult about this ?

Sounds very much like hard work and not something I’d want to be getting involved with if I’m honest.

I’d have told her not to be so wet and either get a commitment from him or tell him to stop talking about doing it.

@Merryoldgoat

I’d have told her not to be so wet and either get a commitment from him or tell him to stop talking about doing it.

Same

What’s the thing?

The whole thing sounds like far too much hard work. If her partner has said he will do something for her then she should be talking about it with him to ensure it gets done. Not have you who he hardly knows thank him for something he hasn't done yet in the hope it will make him do it. I would stay well out of it.

No she's the one being hard work!

Can't you or someone else help her?

Why can't she just tell him to get in & do it??

Why on earth would you thank him for doing something for your mum? If he’s doing something for her, she thanks him not involve you in playing games

If you have only met him twice why would you even have his number ?

I agree with your first instinct not to get involved. Your mum sounds a bit manipulative in her way of dealing with people. Don't get sucked into it.

Don't get involved. You don't seem to really know him, so she can't expect you to be involved.
But parents can be a pain at times.

What a bizarre situation! Is your mum very worried about this thing? If she's really anxious maybe it's making her behave weirdly. I would have done the same as you.

Thanks for all the responses I was just trying to get an opinion on an isolated situation without any background , my mum does have various mental health issues and her partner has his own problems too, this issue involves her health (not mental) and him basically throwing money at it for her to get it sorted, so I get she is quite desperate but this isn't the first time she's told me to contact him in similar scenarios. I think years of being scared to say no to a parent with poor mental health can affect the way you respond and you just find yourself going along with everything to keep the peace.

Why does she seem so stressed about it ?
Has he maybe said something about you not being grateful to him so she’s trying to put it right and keep in his good books ?

It's ludicrous.

Texting someone you have met twice to thank them for doing some mysterious act for their own partner.

The whole situation sounds wrong

Why do you need to chime in so that her partner will actually do what's promised?

Sorry I just read your update

@Merryoldgoat

I’d have told her not to be so wet and either get a commitment from him or tell him to stop talking about doing it.

Yep. People should not pull others into their situations. Grow up mom!