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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Still mad about my laptop which broke months ago. AIBU?

26 replies

Teadrinker11 · 30/01/2022 14:07

Without going into too much detail, last year in the lockdown we were all at home with our parents. My sister was not in a good place. Constant rudeness, aggressive, tantrums over the smallest things. One evening when she got back from work I was sitting at the table on my computer minding my own business working. During that time she spent a lot of time deliberately trying to provoke and agitate me. I would just ignore her, there was nothing else I could do. Pouring water down my top, dragging her fingers along the computer, closing the computer in front of my face when I was working at it. Moving my cup of tea to the other side of the table, turning off the Wifi, taking the earphones out of the computer. One day after washing her hands she came over and flicked the water on the computer. This particular evening she came over to where I was sitting, started doing these kicks into the air next to me just to annoy me. Next thing I know, she had kicked my cup of tea right onto the keyboard and all my notes, which I had to throw out. Whether it was deliberate or accidental, I do not know. The spite afterwards was what really got me. Never apologised, sat there staring at the end of the table while I tried to clean it up, I was crying like an idiot. Since then she has never once apologised or shown some regard or accountability. It was not broken immediately, the next few weeks it worked but seemed to slow down and wouldn't turn on. She was doing the same thing with her fingers, dragging them across the keyboard to spite and razz me. One day it would not turn on altogether so it was sent to a repair shop. Nothing they could do, the thing was fucked. Second hand too. I asked if liquid damage could have caused this and the guy said yes. Now for clarification, I did not buy the computer, my dad did for me because I have started a course and needed something to work on. Since then I feel like I'm bottling in a ton of an urge to cry I can barely contain. I don't know why I'm so upset and why I can't get over it. It wasn't a person and I could always just get a new one. My dad has offered to get me a new one and I've refused. He shouldn't have to be paying for two when if it wasn't for sister I would still have the first one he was decent enough to buy in the first place. I can't afford to get one myself, and even if I could there'd be no point, it would be the exact same cycle with her, she'll do the exact same thing over. Months later I'm still really upset and don't know why. She lied when I told my mum about what happened, I am genuinely convinced my whole family thinks I'm lying about what happened, has never once apologised or anything, I don't know what I'm expecting to happen from being so upset, but I feel like I'm about to explode and can't contain myself any longer. What is wrong with me? AIBU?

OP posts:
ClariceQuiff · 30/01/2022 14:15

Flowers That sounds awful.

Possibly a stupid question, but I am assuming you have no choice but to live at your parents' home?

Your sister's behaviour doesn't seem to sit within normal parameters - how old is she? You mention she was not in a good place - is she receiving support/medical help?

I don't think there is anything surprising about the way you are feeling - most people would feel just the same if a prized, expensive possession was deliberately wrecked by a family member.

You say you're on a course - do you have access to a library where you could work instead of being at home? Is there an option to hire a laptop from the course provider, which you could use in the library or possibly a friend/other relative's house to avoid getting it out at home?

Have you checked out refurbished laptops on, say, eBay? They can be quite cheap and if you make sure you choose a longstanding business seller with a good feedback rating, and pay by Paypal, it's a safe way to buy one.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/01/2022 14:17

Your sister is unhinged.

Mamamamasaurus · 30/01/2022 14:21

Is there some background to your sisters behaviour? How old is she? Is there a reason you can't move out?

I'll be blunt - I'd have punched her straight in the face way before she had a chance to knock a cup of tea over my laptop but I assume you're not controlled than me. Reading your OP made my blood boil on your behalf

Pleaseuniverseplease · 30/01/2022 14:24

Awful situation OP. You sound like you need a break.
I would honestly accept my Dad's offer -you can always offer to pay him back in the future when you're sorted.
The quicker you have a new laptop and get your course completed the quicker you'll be away from this awful situation?

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 30/01/2022 14:29

I really want to know how old your sister is!
Nevertheless, her behaviour is totally outrageous. get away from her and have nothing to do with her until she grows up. What is her problem with you anyway?

Theunamedcat · 30/01/2022 14:29

Why don't your parents believe you don't they not see her behaviour?

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 30/01/2022 14:31

I'd have hit her back to be honest. Fuck putting up with that, why has no one pulled her up on her behaviour? I'm assuming she's about 10ish? So why is she not being disciplined? If your parents don't sort her out now, she'll be a right brat when she hits her teens. Frankly if she were mine she'd have had a smacked bum and sent to her room with instructions to grow up by now.

T00Ts · 30/01/2022 14:32

You’re upset because your sister is a cunt. A cunt who behaves really strangely (and jealously), who deliberately broke your computer (which was symbolic of the achievement linked to your course) and then lied and manipulated your family into believing her over you. The injustice of the situation is what is making you want to cry.

freecuthbert · 30/01/2022 14:37

Your sister's behaviour is unacceptable no matter her age or mental state tbh, but I do hope she is getting support. Are your parents really blind to her behaviour, are they really easy on her, or does she put on a different act in front of them? I am just wondering because as parents they shouldn't be tolerating that and ensuring boundaries are in place, it sounds like there's really no boundaries and she gets away with everything. But of course I don't know if there is more to this.

I am sorry about your laptop, it's okay to be upset and pissed off about it. I can sense there is also a sense of injustice as well which adds to your feelings. But it sounds like you do really need a laptop, so best to accept the offer from your dad. Can you work in your bedroom or does she enter your bedroom uninvited anyway and do this? If so, is getting a lock on your bedroom door feasible? It will also keep your laptop safe when you're not there. You could also take your laptop to a library and work there, although I understand you might not want to do that every day.

I assume you can't move away from home for whatever reason at the moment otherwise you would have done by now, but I hope that by sticking with the course it will help you with your career and earning potential, which will be helpful for moving out.

Hankunamatata · 30/01/2022 15:17

The laptop can be replaced on the contents insurance for the house. Id be sticking to bedroom away from your sister.

Totalwasteofpaper · 30/01/2022 16:33

My dad has offered to get me a new one and I've refused.

Stop cutting your nose to spite your face.
Take the laptop from your dad and do your course.

Iam assuming you are stuck living with her. My advice would be everytime your sister enters a room gather your things and leave.
I mean everytime. Pack up your things and go to your room.
Take your half eaten dinner room your room.

Agree with others I'd probably have punxhed the bitch in the face by now Blush
She sounds like a total arsehole and unbearable to live with.

lucillelarusso · 30/01/2022 16:35

Take the laptop from your dad, move out.

Nailsbythesea · 30/01/2022 16:36

Ask your Dad for a new one. Don't work in the house or work in your room. Laptop in case when not being used.

Then move out pronto.

parietal · 30/01/2022 16:43

How old are you both?

Let your dad get you a new laptop. Study elsewhere if you can and plan to move out asap.

FangsForTheMemory · 30/01/2022 16:47

How old is your sister? 10? I mean honestly, when I'm not in a good place I keep it to myself or go for a long walk. Let your dad buy you another laptop and keep it away from your sister. Is moving out a possibility?

LetHimHaveIt · 30/01/2022 16:59

Christ; you're not the poster with the sister who won't work in her room, and monopolises the kitchen table, are you?

LetHimHaveIt · 30/01/2022 17:26

Well, you're definitely the poster who has previously written about your sister but refused to answer any follow-up questions, including how old your sister is. How extremely tiresome.

MissNothing1991 · 30/01/2022 17:44

@LetHimHaveIt

Well, you're definitely the poster who has previously written about your sister but refused to answer any follow-up questions, including how old your sister is. How extremely tiresome.
I knew I had deja vu!
SlashBeef · 30/01/2022 17:49

@LetHimHaveIt

Well, you're definitely the poster who has previously written about your sister but refused to answer any follow-up questions, including how old your sister is. How extremely tiresome.
Yup.
Mylee · 30/01/2022 17:54

@LetHimHaveIt

Well, you're definitely the poster who has previously written about your sister but refused to answer any follow-up questions, including how old your sister is. How extremely tiresome.
OP has a thread from yesterday about the sister too. Lots of questions asked so people could offer advice and OP didn’t post anything on the thread apart from the opening post
Anonymouseposter · 30/01/2022 18:00

Let your Dad replace the computer.
How old are you both, it makes a difference to how we respond?
Try to let it go, the anger is affecting you more than her.
Do you have your own private room? If so put a lock on the door and keep out of her way.

Mylee · 30/01/2022 18:00

In fact OP has 10+ threads from the last few days all asking questions and opinions but never coming back to them againConfused

Teadrinker11 · 30/01/2022 18:19

I apologise, you're right. I am 26 and she is 31. I know she's looking for a house but the extortionate prices are getting in the way. I'd like the independence myself but I can't afford to move out right now.

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 30/01/2022 18:43

You still feel frustrated about it because it is frustrating. You are in a situation that the other people in it are viewing in a different way which will be making you doubt yourself.

I also think you should take your dad's offer. And do your course and plan how you are going to get out of there.

Thanks
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 30/01/2022 18:56

She's 31?!!! Did you mean 13? Is she ND?

Because if not, she is a complete freak, who behaves like that as an adult? I genuinely thought she was under 12.

Honestly OP, this whole thread is weird. You've a 31 year old and a 26 year old both still living with their parents. Your laptop was bought by your father and your sister acts like she's about 7.

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