Husband working away over due date

[5upermum]

I’m currently 33 and a bit weeks pregnant, due end of March (a week and a bit after my birthday).

My husband often works away Monday to Friday. He said a few months ago (after I asked) that his work were understanding of baby coming in March and would avoid placing him away over the due date.

However, he has since found out he is going to be about 2 and a half hours away for a few weeks around and over my due date (and subsequently my birthday). He didn’t say anything to his boss to try and see if they could wiggle this or ask for flexibility, and forgot it was my birthday until I reminded him.

Am I unreasonable to be upset about this? My family aren’t close by and I’m anxious about going into labour alone, especially as I am at home with my 2 year old, and don’t know what I’d do if he didn’t make it back in time (my first labour wasn’t very long so not expecting a long one this time).

What would you do? Am I silly to be upset about this? I don’t expect him to not work but was under the impression he would be closer to home around the big day.

@3Daddy31982

Book a travellodge. Go with.

What?!

I think you need to explain what you’ve put here. It’s making you anxious. If he can’t be there you need to sort family or friends to help or get support eg doula.
Go through scenarios. If I go into labour and you are 2.5 hours away where does child go? How do I get to hospital? Who is going with me etc? Talk it through so it’s settled in your mind. It will all be alright doesn’t help you.

He should speak to them.

Every baby here and we have 6 from 5 pregnancies. Dh is 4.5 hours away if he is on base. Was deployed when pregnant with our 1st, got notified they were going dark at 8mth pregnant and no idea when they'd be back in UK. Panic stations my blood pressure through the roof, thankfully he did get home and was at the birth. Only reason he wasn't deployed when we had our twins was because he broke his leg when I was 26wk and in a cast at home until the day after birth. If he'd been on the deployment he may not have got home for days or possibly weeks after birth. We know loads of couples where they didn't make it back, they all had a back up birthing partner arranged. We have been extremely lucky because he has made it to every birth.

I’d say I can’t make you do anything but I will never ever forgive you if you aren’t with me while I give birth to our baby. As it is, 2yo will have to go away to work with you after 39 weeks since you don’t seem to have made any arrangements. I’ve made arrangements, I thought both my children had a loving dad and he would look after them, but they seem to have fallen through so it’s up to you to work out the plan with 2yo.

I’m 37 weeks and if my dh thought he would be working away in the next few weeks I think we might be over there and then. He’s not so stupid though!!

What is going to happen with your 2yo regardless of whether DH is around?

@3Daddy31982

Book a travellodge. Go with.

What?

Miles away from where she's received maternity care and where she's booked in for the birth?

And what does she do with the toddler? Leave it in the room?

This has to be one of the stupidest posts ever

@cheapskatemum

I ended up in a similar situation with DC2, because he was 2 weeks later than due date. DH had booked time off, but had to return to work in Russia before the birth. I had a very good friend on standby. Her family looked after DS1, who was 18 months old, and she was my birth partner. She phoned DH & had to insist the hotel receptionist put her through to him, despite the fact he was asleep, to tell him I was in labour! DS2 came very quickly, under 2 hours from the time my waters broke to his arrival. You also have to think about how you're going to get you & DC1 to your friend's if you do this. I got told off by the midwife for driving 20minutes after my contractions had started. It was 2am.

I'm not surprised you were told off!

You could easily have crashed!

My husband lived 3 hours away from me when I was pregnant with our second baby. I called him as soon as I thought something might be happening and he left as soon as he could. I wouldn't be worried about him not being there for the labour, as long he can make it for the birth. I also have quick labours, and he almost missed it from just being downstairs!

2 hours is normal commuting distance for many. Read the super selective school threads, many secondary school children do 1 to 1.5 hour commutes. It is not competitive commuting. The average commuting time is 1hr 38 so plenty are doing more.