Should he get a lie in today?

[yesterdaysbread]

DH’s birthday today. Since yesterday I have had a horrible head cold feeling rubbish and weak and not up to much at all. We have a 6 month old and I do all the nights. This morning I got up with DS and said happy birthday to DH and it would be great if he could get up and help with the baby as I feel crappy. He didn’t move. On my birthday a couple of months ago I also got up with baby and he slept in.

So - YABU: of course he should get a sleep in on his birthday
YANBU: he should get up and help

Birthday or no, if you’re feeling shite he should get up and just get on with it.

If I was feeling generous I might give him an hour. I’m guessing you never get any lie ins?

I’m in the sane boat, 8am and up with a squiggling baby all night and DH still sleeping peacefully….

Lie ins go out the window when there's a baby and one of you is ill

If you don’t get a lie in on your birthday why should he, particularly when you’re unwell. Just go and get back into bed and hand him the baby.
Why are you doing all of the nights? IMO if you’re doing all the nights you should get a lie in whenever you want. I’ve been doing all the nights with DS whilst breastfeeding but hand baby over to DH very early in the morning so I can get a few hours sleep, he’s still getting a good deal there.

Why didn't you get a lie in on your birthday?

Do you get a lie I'm each at the weekends generally?

Why are you doing all the nights?

If you didn't get one on your birthday he shouldn't be entitled to one on his.

If you are not well of course he should be getting up with baby. Do you normally share the getting up with baby?

We used to have one day of the weekend each to have a lie in.

FML your pissed off about some thing. Have it out with him. In a reasonable and calm way.

Yours noth unreasonable and need to grow up.

You need to get some rules about who does what in your relationship. My DH was dreadful at nights and I didn't mind so I always got up, but later in the days I used to go back to bed and he had the children for a bit, it wasn't for everyone but it worked for us, so try and establish some sort of give and take for you and your partner and get some down time
As for being sick, take some cold and flu meds, or insist he gets up, or give him an hour then swap and you go to bed for a bit

Unless you are EBF he needs to step up to the plate without a doubt

It sounds like he gets enough lie ins tbh

No he shouldn't get a lie in! He didn't give you one for your birthday and you're not well. It makes me so sad that there's so many posts on MN with unhelpful husbands who just won't help at night! I don't understand why this type of behaviour is just accepted by so many people?

@Flickflak

Nope. If he didn’t get up for your birthday then duck him. I’d take the six month old in (fed if BF), place on the bed next to him, and go for a nice long walk.

Why are so many people on MN married to dickheads?? Weren’t there any warning signs before marriage and/or kids??

This is a tricky one.

Because I’m telling 100% honestly that DH is a very good bloke, not a sausage of warning signs, he’s still a good bloke. But he’s crap at realising that just because I’m on maternity leave, it doesn’t mean I can function on next to no sleep. He still sees weekends as his reward to get a bit of rest as he’s been working all week. I am working on this attitude, and it’s only childcare related issues where it is apparent, but with a lot of men even the very good ones, it’s woven in. It’s what they say saw their mums do.

Anyway, my DH has been hauled out of bed with strict instructions to not disturb me for two hours on pain of death, because I’m fucked if the pattern is getting repeated with our own DS.

He needs to get up. Don’t let him lie in.

@CareBear50

Unless you are EBF he needs to step up to the plate without a doubt

Even then. Ds2 is breastfed and dh has done plenty of settling and changing at night. And then past about 6 months when he didn't particularly need a night feed anymore dh has done every second night

Are you breastfeeding and doing nights as you’re off and he’s working? Is that why you got up on your birthday? I think he should get up if you’re Il.

Surely lie-ins go out of the window when you partner is ill and you have small children?

I mean, they're a nice thing to have, but when life gets in the way, you just suck it up and have a nap later on!

@Vbree

No he shouldn't get a lie in! He didn't give you one for your birthday and you're not well. It makes me so sad that there's so many posts on MN with unhelpful husbands who just won't help at night! I don't understand why this type of behaviour is just accepted by so many people?

I understand you’ve just Lashed out but she might be doing nights as she’s breastfeeding and he’s working.

Why are you doing all nights? Do you get at least 1 lie in on a weekend? I would try to give DH a lie in on his birthday but that is because he is a 50/50 kind of partner. If i was genuinely ill he would get up, birthday or not because we are a team.

I didn't need to read any further than "I do all the nights". NO he does not get a lie in.

@Dumblebum

Are you breastfeeding and doing nights as you’re off and he’s working? Is that why you got up on your birthday? I think he should get up if you’re Il.

He can still help settle if she's breastfeeding. It doesn't give him an excuse to do nothing at night, even if he works his sleep isn't more deserved.

1. Why are you doing all the nights?
2. If he wanted a lie-in on his birthday, he should have given you one on yours.
3. You're ill, that trumps a birthday.