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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My mad, sweet, dishonest and nutty mother

26 replies

Spannerkist · 30/01/2022 00:59

Spannerkist

This maybe more of a vent...
My mum, she's in many ways extremely lovely, open minded and kind. She's great with the grandkids etc. She's leant me money plenty of times, she's nice.
Growing up my dad was abusive to my mum, to me and my siblings. This included sexual abuse. I told her, once. She didn't take it seriously. I dont know how, tho, since he was fired from a job with kids after allegations but she was depressed + occasionally beaten up.
Shes not quite right. She misses social cues, she's inappropriate. I hear stuff I'm not sure to believe.
When I was 14 my dad left and it was crazy. He would come kick the door in, smash up the fuse box so we had no leccy. It was traumatic. Within weeks she met a new, completely unappealing man who she brought home and he didnt leave til she sold the house and moved away. He was disgusting, I was kicked out at 15, miles away from home, and without older siblings to help for various reasons.
15 yrs later, after my grandmother, who she cared for in later life, died, she married this man. Within 6 months he dumped her. ALL the inheritance was in a joint account (this man had never worked, mum always has). He froze the account & ultimately put her thru hell, she leant on me and my sisters for a place to stay, he wasted whatever money he didnt outright steal.
Then she has more disaster relationships with dodgy men, ones who like the husband are abusive towards us, lots of criminality - kne led to her being trouble, she tried to kill herself.
A few years ago a man she moved abroad with swindled her of tens of thousands of pounds. She's pretty skint now.
So, after staying with my sister for over a year she goes and buys a house several hours drive from ALL her kids and grandkids (we all live in a city, all four kids and ten grandkids)
Secretly, in this house, she's had a lodger. Quell surprise it's a man, and she's 'very close'. He screamed abuse at my sister on the phone the other day. My mum put phone down on her and made a ridiculous excuse.
I looked on his Facebook. Including lots of gross stuff is him gorging on meat (she is vegan these days) and a joke about a kebab he's eating, where a friend asks is that your new bird. He liked it.
He looks like a right wing nutter. He's got ptsd from the army apparently. I thought she sounded sketchy about me visiting with kids, it now makes sense.
I love my mum. She's smart but also incredibly gullible. She's broken. She's old (70) this man looks a fair bit younger. If I put her on the spot, I know she'll lie. If he hears, I honestly wonder if she'll be in danger - she has no filter, she's done this before and ultimately caused huge, sometimes violent rows by repeating stuff no one else would.
I also have immense rage at her over endless incidents of selfishness, idiocy, the lies and neglect and abandonment. I have no idea how to process this

OP posts:
scratchedfloor · 30/01/2022 01:14

That all sounds tough op and you sound incredibly balanced, you see her, and still love her for what she is , despite her incredibly chaotic sometimes selfish lifestyle.

There's not much to say as you've not asked a question, you know what she is, you can only do what you're doing, and if it gets too much, step back and don't feel bad for stepping back. She would if she was you.

BobbieT1999 · 30/01/2022 01:21

If you're concerned he may be "cuckooing" then I would suggest approaching the police with your concerns, explaining that your mother is vulnerable.

I'm also sorry for all you've been through Flowers

ThreeLocusts · 30/01/2022 01:29

Oh OP, I feel for you. Your mother sounds a lot like mine, but more extreme.

It sounds like you love her, you are understanding and forgiving and try to be supportive against the odds, and at the same time she makes you want to punch the wall and scream with her gullibility and utter failure to stand up for herself or her kids.

All I can think of saying is look after yourself and keep in mind that you just can't stop her from making her own mistakes. It's OK to limit yourself to superficial conversations if attempts to actually share or enquire merely leave you with sleepless nights. I'm sure she'll be glad if you keep calling her, even if to exchange commonplaces.

Spannerkist · 30/01/2022 01:29

Thank you, you lovely women. I just needed to vent x

OP posts:
Kelly7889 · 30/01/2022 01:41

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Spannerkist · 30/01/2022 01:44

This is a blinding description. Urgh I'm just so angry( probably a bit mid life crisis style looking back at my childhood, looking at my daughters and feeling rage).
I just can't get over the lying, her immaturity

OP posts:
SRS29 · 30/01/2022 01:45

OP the mere reason you recognise the behaviour of your mum is wrong is admirable......be strong and rise above it... you have before and you will again x

Spannerkist · 30/01/2022 01:47

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Message deleted as it quotes a deleted post.

Spannerkist · 30/01/2022 01:52

Thank you x

OP posts:
Spannerkist · 30/01/2022 01:55

X thank you

OP posts:
StrawberryPot · 30/01/2022 02:00

You sound incredibly well-balanced, intelligent and caring op. I'm so sorry you had such an appalling childhood and that your mother is still causing you so much distress. Thanks

stinkycheeseman · 30/01/2022 02:04

What @StrawberryPot says. Lots of our mums generation never stood a chance. Forgive her, but keep yourself safe. Good luck 💐💐

WhyYesYABU · 30/01/2022 02:31

Reading this I see parallels with my own 66yo mother. Unlike you I don't really feel love for her as a result. Having kids, and realising the mental gymnastics she must've done to make the choices she did, was the nail in the coffin for me. She comes to visit but her partner isn't welcome and I keep her at an arm's length. What really galls me is she's never acknowledged the hurt she caused and thinks I should be grateful for what was on the face of it a naice MC upbringing with ski trips and riding lessons, not realising all my sister and I wanted was to feel like her number one priority.

I don't know what the point of my reply is really. I have no advice, but wanted to let you know you're not the only one unfortunate enough to have a batty mum Flowers

Spannerkist · 03/02/2022 10:00

This is really sweet. Thank you

OP posts:
Spannerkist · 03/02/2022 10:01

That's true, isn't it... the merging of the 60s sexual revolution and 1950s repression made for some damaged people

OP posts:
Spannerkist · 03/02/2022 10:09

Yeah, that's an incredible level of selfishness that I can only imagine requires some serious masking to live with. It's nice to know I'm not alone x

OP posts:
MrsWooster · 03/02/2022 10:16

Is there any way you can access some therapy to help you realise it is possible to love someone AND accept that what they did to you was wrong AND not be able to save them or even be responsible for them..? It might enable you to find some peace and acceptance as she goes her inevitable way.

Zilla1 · 03/02/2022 10:39

@Kelly7889 given the OP said "I looked on his Facebook" then perhaps her comment was based on what she saw there?

ChocolateMassacre · 03/02/2022 11:27

You sound like such a warm, lovely, grounded person Flowers.

It takes a lot to realise that people may be very far from perfect, and they may have let us down badly at times, but we still love them anyway. And that you can love someone without trying to 'fix' them. It's something my DH and I don't see eye to eye on as he's much more black and white in his thinking of 'good' people and 'bad' or 'weak' people and has much less tolerance of human failings.

Ultimately though it's important to set your own boundaries and not give more than you can cope with, both materially and emotionally. Your primary responsibility is to yourself and your DC.

Have you watched Maid on Netflix? Some aspects of the storyline might resonate.

FabriqueBelgique · 03/02/2022 11:54

@Spannerkist

That's true, isn't it... the merging of the 60s sexual revolution and 1950s repression made for some damaged people
Can you explain this a little bit? I have no clue. This might give some insight into my mil. My DPs situation is very similar to yours and she’s about that age..
Spannerkist · 10/02/2022 22:07

There's no way I can afford that right now. I have had a lit of therapy in the past, I feel I've more understanding and compassion for her now. But I feel very distant from her - always have

OP posts:
Spannerkist · 10/02/2022 22:10

I think for those born in the 50s there was a lot of repression, obviously. Then the sexual revolution, the pill, free love - I think it was massively confusing. You hear how paedophiles abused that sudden liberational atmosphere with some extremely dodgy stuff dressed up as iconoclastic, seeing kids as small adults. I can only guess at how disorientating it all was. I think it really screwed with people's boundaries

OP posts:
Spannerkist · 10/02/2022 22:21

Thank you.
I haven't seen Maid, no. Might have a look.
I feel huge anger and sadness, I do look back and wonder in awe at her complete disregard for my and my siblings welfare. She is a very lost, damaged person, it was the secrecy that's only become clear over the last couple of years.
And it is heartbreaking, she just wants a man who loves her. But every time she picks some obvious bastard. I worry 3her being left penniless, I am furious at her dishonesty and inability to look from a distance and assess, to look at how others are affected.
Her mum was hard and cold. She desperately wanted to be the opposite and she amd my dad did seem to love each other, although he was also extremely abusive. Since they split up all those years ago she's been adrift.
She's unbelievably blind to what goes on around her, it's sometimes just awe inspiring. It's like a benign narcissism. She wanted to be a warm parent, she wasnt. She was in extremely tough situation.
I wonder if I'm having a mid life crisis tbh. I'm 41, had a messy, chaotic life. I look back at my never getting an education, living in hostels as a teen, being a drug addict and alcoholic, and i think if I'd just had some direction or faith shown I was able for something. I desperately miss the one year of my childhood things were ok, which she destroyed in going off with the first bastard. It's on my mind a lot.
I managed to stop drink and heroin in my mid 30s, when I got pregnant. Then last year i got pregnant again and it's all been a huge profound change.
Sorry!! I go on... x

OP posts:
Spannerkist · 10/02/2022 22:21

YES! Thank you

OP posts:
Balaklavava · 13/11/2022 11:26

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