Overprotective or sensible?

[bluebear19]

My DS is due to go to nursery in about 4 months time. He will be one when he goes.

We got a place at the nursery up the road from us. Great rep and I have several friends who use said nursery who rate it highly. First time we were shown around, by the manager, I loved it and got a great feeling (there were no kids there during this visit, or other staff members).

Second visit to do paperwork etc there were children and staff there. We were shown the room my DS would be in, and met the 4 members of staff in there.

I have a couple of concerns...

The staff can't have been older than 20 - any of them. Apparently one is the room supervisor and has been there since she left school, and she is fully qualified. The others looked barely 18 and like they didn't have a clue what they were doing. I wouldn't trust them to look after my son if he had an accident for example. They just looked clueless!

Also, when we left we peeked through the window back in to the room and the staff were stood chatting with most of them having their backs to the children. They did not have eyes on this room full of 18 kids (which felt like a lot tbh).

It's local and very convenient - and waiting lists are crazy where I live for anywhere decent.

I do have a tendency to be anxious and really don't want my son going to nursery at all (I've not left him yet even for an hour!) so wondering if I'm just being too over protective.

YABU - he will be fine
YANBU - find another nursery

@RowanAlong

Childminder if you want your child to have more attention and a calmer environment.

Not always the case though. I have a friend who left their child with a top rated childminder who people raved about but she left her DS in front of TV all day and complained when he got bored. It really does depend on the individual set up.

A. Look T other nurseries.
B. Reconsider a childminder
C. Look at nannies as they are different to childminders.

I'm sorry for your loss op and the associated anxiety about your DC being in a car.

This sounds a tricky one to unpick, because you've shared that you have anxiety, which is very likely to be triggered by the huge deal of entrusting your first child to someone else's care. But equally important, you've raised very valid concerns about what you saw in this setting, and you need to listen to your gut.

It's interesting to note that you were originally happy with the idea of this nursery based on your first visit and its reputation amongst your friends, so it's not like your anxiety flared at that point just around the thought of a nursery. Your unease has come after you observed some things which made you question it.

Listen to your gut.

@RowanAlong

Childminder if you want your child to have more attention and a calmer environment.

My worry with a childminder is accountability. I’d go to local rhyme time groups and there’d be some childminders there chatting, on their phones and not watching the children at all. But to the parents would have said how wonderful they were, taking them out etc. Also what happens if your childminder is ill?

I would visit again, I would never pick a nursery based on a viewing when no one else was there.

Saying that, my kids are 5&3 and all their nursery workers must have been late teens and they’ve flourished at nursery, always planning fun new things that I wouldn’t be bothered to do myself with them!

Also what happens if your childminder is ill?

CMs are self-employed.

Self-employed people tend to ensure they aren't sick as they get no money.

The horror stories I read on MN tend to be due to people choosing a CM with their own young or primary aged children. If these children are sick then the CM has to take the days off.

The CM I use is in her early 50s with grown up children. She tells me well in advance the days she wants off and her holidays. These tend to coincidence with her hobby.

She has other CMs who can take DD on some of the days she takes off but we prefer just to take holiday from work and look after her ourselves.

with nursery you end up with lots of day off due to the many germs caught at nursery. Sick days are just part of life with kids. Around this time of year I'd go into pick up or drop off (pre covid) and about half the kids would look as though they were coming down with or recovering from something.

You've got to sort the most important factor - that's the quality of the care. The other problems are secondary.