Advice on how to phrase not having this meeting

[Quirkyme]

Hi

Been in a senior role for a few months internal promotion from a different team location wise.

So, I have a fortnightly meeting with the Assistant Team Manager (initially she proposed weekly (!) I suggested monthly and we agreed on every two weeks), which is honestly a waste of time. It's first thing, middle of the week via teams and in her own words the purpose of this is to "catch-up" but really it's a chance for her to have a natter.
The role has been particularly stressful - due to another colleague not doing her job which directly impacts mine, and I have to spend a lot of time chasing her up and the colleague has been making my life hell, professionally and personally.

When I raised this with this ATM in the most recent meeting, she was extremely dismissive and made excuses for her, due to her being "the first to volunteer to do things in the team" and basically told me to suck it up.
In the past when I have used the meeting to follow up about a really simple thing regarding work - so clarifying case notes that SHE the ATM wrote so I could figure out next steps for myself , she told me to ask the team manager - despite it being them who wrote the case note.

All in all, the meetings are her nattering on about her life and when I use it to deal with work issues she's unsupportive, fobbs me to others and frankly is lazy as hell.

So I've raised the serious issues with my team manager a second time in a meeting yesterday (I did this also prior to Xmas when bad practice by colleague was noticeable but it's ramped us massively in terms of the bad practice AND colleague making my work life hell) and I also raised concerns about the ATM. He made notes during the meeting and set actions- regarding the colleague impacting my work negatively by her not doing her job (this is a consistent issue) and her behaviour towards me, and also asked if I wished for him to speak to the ATM about my concern regarding being dismissive.

I say this to say I don't wish to have the meeting with the ATM anymore as it is useless and a waste of time , - her role has no bearing on mine, my line manager is the team manager who I would also be having supervisions with.

So I would like to suggest not meeting with her, and instead/only with him as and when needed (this is very much his approach) and in my supervisions.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to phrase this in an email - would it be to the team manager directly as a follow-on from the meeting with him, and do I send one to her too?

I have a meeting with her again this week coming up (they can be cancelled by either of us if needed) and I seriously dread them - ironically the last one two weeks ago was the only one I didn't dread and actually wanted to attend because I knew I was going to raise serious concerns, which turned out to be a waste of time anyway)

Thanks for reading.

So someone that you don't like, and isn't good at their job, has booked in regular pointless meetings in your diary?

If that's the case it's a no brainer to cancel them.

How about

'Moving forward we should meet as and when needed. That way we can respond more flexibly to issues.' And then delete the meeting from your diary.

I would keep it short, simple and work related. You don't need to give a reason. It's your diary, you can decide

I’d just speak to your manager and say you aren’t finding them to be a good use of your time and can they stop.

@SoftPillow

So someone that you don't like, and isn't good at their job, has booked in regular pointless meetings in your diary?

If that's the case it's a no brainer to cancel them.

How about

'Moving forward we should meet as and when needed. That way we can respond more flexibly to issues.' And then delete the meeting from your diary.

I would keep it short, simple and work related. You don't need to give a reason. It's your diary, you can decide

I REALLY LIKE THIS!

Haha, because it's something I would actually do. Thanks :)

@TheSnowyOwl

I’d just speak to your manager and say you aren’t finding them to be a good use of your time and can they stop.

I may consider this too, thank you

How about:
I’ve discussed workload/time management with XXXX and have suggested that we reduce these fortnightly meetings to a more “as and when needed” basis rather than being regularly scheduled. I’m confident any issues can be discussed via email to free up the time for both of us.

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

How about: I’ve discussed workload/time management with XXXX and have suggested that we reduce these fortnightly meetings to a more “as and when needed” basis rather than being regularly scheduled. I’m confident any issues can be discussed via email to free up the time for both of us.

This is good too, thank you 😊

If you need to dress it up politely then say that due to your current workload you would prefer to meet when there is a relevant agenda, rather than to a schedule, and if she has something urgent to discuss in the meantime to get in touch.

The day before the meeting, I'd email asking for the agenda for the meeting. If none is forthcoming, then you can say to skip this week and delete from the calendar. Repeat a few times and then email to say it looks like a regular meeting isn't necessary so you're deleting all of them and she's welcome to get in touch if there's something specific to run through.

If she does reply with an agenda, then stick to it ... if she starts waffling about nothing, give her a couple of minutes then interrupt, "shall we kick off the agenda? Point 1 is ..." and then at the end, "great, that's everything covered. I'm doing abc and you're doing xyz, I'll send an email summary" and wrap up the call.

@Summersdreaming

If you need to dress it up politely then say that due to your current workload you would prefer to meet when there is a relevant agenda, rather than to a schedule, and if she has something urgent to discuss in the meantime to get in touch.

Thank you for this :) this sums it up exactly

let me get this straight - where in the company hierarchy do you sit in relation to ATM and TM?

If she is subordinate - then email the TM - "Now I've been in post for a few months, I've had the chance to see how things work and I'm proposing to change a few things. One of which is to drop the fortnightly meetings, with ATM. We will arrange meetings on specific points as and when required and for which I'll draw up an agenda."

Then send her an email - saying much the same - don't ask, inform.
With an agenda in place, you'll be able to 'chair' the meeting and can bring the talk back to the agenda as and when it strays of course.

In fact it might not be a bad idea to have an agenda for the meetings with the TM - or if that sounds too formal, at least drop him a line or 2, a couple of days before to let him know the topics you want to talk about. I would keep notes myself if things are getting 'lost' and then you can use these if the situation regarding the 3rd colleague requires an intervention involving HR.

Dear ATM

Going forward I think a more dynamic approach to our meetings would allow us to deal with issues promptly as and when they arise, so I’m suggesting we stop the fortnightly meetings and arrange to meet only as and when needed.

I feel this approach will free up time for us both.

Let’s review this in 3 months.

Best regards

If she’s resistant to that, I’d simply bluntly cut her off when she starts chatting shit about her life - “ok are we done with work stuff? Nice talking to you, I’ve got loads to be getting on with”.

@L40Postcode

Dear ATM

Going forward I think a more dynamic approach to our meetings would allow us to deal with issues promptly as and when they arise, so I’m suggesting we stop the fortnightly meetings and arrange to meet only as and when needed.

I feel this approach will free up time for us both.

Let’s review this in 3 months.

Best regards

If she’s resistant to that, I’d simply bluntly cut her off when she starts chatting shit about her life - “ok are we done with work stuff? Nice talking to you, I’ve got loads to be getting on with”.

Thank you 😊

I like how you added "let's review" is something management say (or she has anyway), knowing full well there's no plan to haha.

So I do quite like the thought of possibly doing this too ;)

I’d cancel it this week. Workload too high, etc

And then next time too.

And then if ATM moaned I’d ask what they felt needed discussing urgently? And go from there to the “Let’s meet as and when” official email.

@DPotter

let me get this straight - where in the company hierarchy do you sit in relation to ATM and TM?

If she is subordinate - then email the TM - "Now I've been in post for a few months, I've had the chance to see how things work and I'm proposing to change a few things. One of which is to drop the fortnightly meetings, with ATM. We will arrange meetings on specific points as and when required and for which I'll draw up an agenda."

Then send her an email - saying much the same - don't ask, inform.
With an agenda in place, you'll be able to 'chair' the meeting and can bring the talk back to the agenda as and when it strays of course.

In fact it might not be a bad idea to have an agenda for the meetings with the TM - or if that sounds too formal, at least drop him a line or 2, a couple of days before to let him know the topics you want to talk about. I would keep notes myself if things are getting 'lost' and then you can use these if the situation regarding the 3rd colleague requires an intervention involving HR.

So hierarchically , she's under the team manager , and I'm under them as a senior. My role is hugely autonomous in terms of what to do day-to-day and I have my own specialism - which no one on the team has in relation to what I do (can't say too much). So whereas the other seniors and main team roles and ATM roles are all related, and therefore they have supervision and more dealings with her, I don't fall under that category, and have the TM as my manager.

I also have another subset team made up of others who are in the same role as me across the different locations across the county, and that is headed by another TM in one of those locations.

And yes, definitely agendas with the TM is a good idea, I had notes for the last meeting to discuss my concerns, or as you said a few lines ahead of the meeting - I did that for my last meeting .

I've got a folder with all the evidence of what's been happening with the 3rd colleague - it's been tough honestly.

Thank you 😊

I provide a very little ad hoc support to a slightly senior colleague on a piece of work I am not really involved in. This piece of work was due to start before another piece of work I was allocated to, but didn't, and then the other piece of work became much more full on - meaning I didn't have much time to support the first piece of work. All discussed and agreed with my colleague and my line manager. Despite that, there are still weekly catch ups in my diary - she never tells me anything of importance, I ask what I can do to support and she tells me she has it all covered, it is most frustrating! I now tend to ask her if there is anything specific she wants to discuss and if there isn't then I suggest we cancel for this week.