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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they may have munchausens

33 replies

Snoods · 29/01/2022 16:02

A friend has a work friend who he thinks may have munchausens. He wants to talk to them about it to try and help them (He’s suffered from mental health issues in the past and now likes to support others). It’s mainly minor ailments that they talk about all the time and takes over their life, so my work friend is worried for them and their future. They believe they had covid (no positive test), and say they still struggle with breathing. Although all tests have been fine and they seem to manage absolutely fine with daily work etc. A recent one has been stomach issues but nothing so far has been found apart from IBS, but they talk about it all the time and have been to A and E quite a lot. I don’t know them and feel they may be genuinely ill so wouldn’t say they aren’t telling the truth, but other things on top of this over the last few years have made my friend feel their friend is making it all up. It’s a difficult one as someone in pain would be heartbroken that a friend thought they were making things up. I read about munchausens and it doesn’t seem as extreme as what I read. Anyone ever come across anyone like this and any outcomes? I don’t want my friend to approach their friend on it and ruin a work friendship if they are wrong.

OP posts:
BlueCherryBlossom · 29/01/2022 17:35

'AiBU to think a friend of a friend (ie someone you don't even know) has Munchausens'

Yes. 100%, YABU.

I honestly despair.

I hope your friend of a friend is ok; sounds like they are struggling and need support
rather than total strangers 'diagnosing' them with outdated conditions that carry heavy blame and judgement.

Lots of sensible and helpful replies on this thread already, that I agree with wholeheartedly.

Whatwhywhenwhere · 29/01/2022 18:10

Ibs can be terrible
Re covid and breathing problems I have lots of friends saying the same. Is it all they talk about to the detriment of anything else? In which case health anxiety. Do they enjoy the attention of doctors and hospitals ?

I think those two above are what really makes the difference

Nocutenamesleft · 29/01/2022 18:15

It’s not called Munchausens now. It’s called facetious disorder now

What you’re saying isn’t facetious disorder. It’s hypochondria.

Hyperchondria is when you constantly think you’re sick. But facetious disorder is where you WANT to be sick. There’s also a rather large element to it that requires lying or being deceiving….

This pandemic has brought out many many people who now have these health anxieties.

CBT therapy works well for these people.

Nocutenamesleft · 29/01/2022 18:17

@NewtoHolland

It's possible though that they truely experience all of this chronic pain...but its actually a symptom of their emotional pain. That communication around it is seeking some kind of response isn't it . I think the most helpful thing someone could do is try to use some coaching or Motivational interview skills to try to help him identify things he'd like to change in his life, and stuff that would be good for his health and healing, encouraging him in activities that you know could boost his mental health, also encouraging him in self compassion, because he is not going to find that response he is seeking in someone else ..but he may be able to meet that need by being kind and compassionate towards himself. ...the thing is doing these things under the radar to someone who is closed to mental health as an option is quite tricky. Perhaps if friend is concerned about him they could focus that concern on adding positives to his life...maybe offering to bring in a nice lunch to share, going for a walk together before or after work. Stuff we know is mood boosting.
People who experience physical problems due to emotional issues. That’s now called FND. Functional neurological disorder. It was called conversion disorder.

That’s something that should also be looked at here.

Schmoozer · 29/01/2022 18:21

OP is too far removed from the person to have any meaningful discussion here I think !

Elasmotherium · 29/01/2022 18:46

@Nocutenamesleft

It’s not called Munchausens now. It’s called facetious disorder now

What you’re saying isn’t facetious disorder. It’s hypochondria.

Hyperchondria is when you constantly think you’re sick. But facetious disorder is where you WANT to be sick. There’s also a rather large element to it that requires lying or being deceiving….

This pandemic has brought out many many people who now have these health anxieties.

CBT therapy works well for these people.

Please tell me you know it's not facetious disorder and that a horrendous typo!

Just in case it's not - it is actually called Factitious Disorder as I pointed out about 5 messages upthread....

Sugarplumfairy65 · 29/01/2022 19:09

@forlornlorna

Listen I had bloody tears of strange ailments. Dizziness, vertigo, muscle pain, bowel and bladder issues. Even my closest family started to think I was suffering from a mental health problem rather than a physical one. After another bout of symptoms this summer I was actually diagnosed with MS.

I'd mind my business. It really effected my mental health not being believed by friends, family and even health professionals.

I was the same. I was starting to think I was going mad. It turned out I had stage 3 cancer. Incurable by the time it was diagnosed.
Snoods · 29/01/2022 19:15

Thank you everyone. Definitely appreciate thoughts/comments. I am sure my friend will continue to support their friend however needed. Just want them to feel better.

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