Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think he should have got up this morning?

12 replies

quiteannoyedactually · 29/01/2022 15:43

I have covid, went for a PCR on Wednesday and got positive result on Thursday, I've felt quite rough but not too bad. I'm not going to have to go to hospital or anything but I'm still not well. H (not sure he deserves the 'D') was working a split shift on Thursday so I spent the whole day caring for our two children (5yo and a baby) myself. Fine, can't be helped.

Yesterday he got up at half 12 and fiddled about doing bits and pieces of work - leaving me with the children - until eventually I asked him what he was doing, could he not give me some help, why do I have to do everything when I have covid? At which point he made himself useful for a while before going to work again and promised to get up this morning and let me have a rest. (He did a lateral flow before going to work, it was negative)

He got in from work at 3am so I didn't expect him to get up with the kids at 7am. But the day went by and eventually it was half 2 so I lost my shit a bit. Asked him why he wouldn't get up and help me. He said he was tired and he couldn't get up but he would get up now. I told him it felt like he didn't care about me at all. I still feel that way. He eventually got up at 3pm, I left the kids with him and went to bed. He appears not to be talking to me.

So AIBU? I can't sleep now, I feel like I'm lying in bed being lazy even though I have covid and have been caring for our children myself constantly for the last 3 days. He's not normally a selfish wanker which is why I'm questioning if I'm over reacting.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 29/01/2022 15:47

Well no realistically he shouldn't have got up with the kids today if he was working until 3am.

He should've been up by lunchtime though really.

Why don't you do something for yourself rather than lying in bed if you can't sleep? Go out and get a coffee and read a book somewhere or go to the cinema.

GilesRupert · 29/01/2022 15:49

@girlmom21

Well no realistically he shouldn't have got up with the kids today if he was working until 3am.

He should've been up by lunchtime though really.

Why don't you do something for yourself rather than lying in bed if you can't sleep? Go out and get a coffee and read a book somewhere or go to the cinema.

Yeah she's got covid

Interrobanger · 29/01/2022 15:49

Why don't you do something for yourself rather than lying in bed if you can't sleep? Go out and get a coffee and read a book somewhere or go to the cinema

Because she has covid?

girlmom21 · 29/01/2022 15:51

Oh yeah forgot that bit. Ignore that suggestion... sorry!

SartresSoul · 29/01/2022 15:53

He should have set an alarm for 11-12 so he could wake up and help you. Staying in bed until 3pm (so 12 hours after he finished work!) is ridiculous at the best of times but you’re sick so he should have helped.

Chloemol · 29/01/2022 15:57

He can be up by 10.

I would be staying in bed all day tomorrow

Interrobanger · 29/01/2022 16:00

YANBU OP. I have Covid right now and I feel shocking. Been double vaxxed and I still haven’t been able to get out of bed for three days. There’s no way I would have been able to look after a baby. Luckily my children are old enough to be looked after by DH without them constantly whining for me. But over these past three days DH has been consistently baffled that the children need feeding regularly, the dishwasher needs to actually go on, that unless he puts the washing machine on the clothes inside will remain dirty. I’ve no idea why he’s being such a fuckwit. I think he’s flapping because I’m never usually ill.

You have my sympathy OP!

Moonbabysmum · 29/01/2022 16:10

As a mum of 2 (inc baby) there gave likely bern many, many times youve got up after 4hrs sleep.

Him getting up at 7 wouldn't have killed him, and he should certainly have been up by 10. If he got up at 7, he could have had nearly 4hrs (horrid but survivable if needed) and he could have taken a nap when the baby napped.

I don't know why there seems to be such an assumption that men's sleep is more precious than women's.

Sceptre86 · 29/01/2022 16:20

Both dh and I have tested positive for covid. He has been more ill than me particularly of an evening so for the first three days I managed on my own with 3 kids one of whom is a 4 month old baby. He still had to pitch in so feed baby or watch her whilst I cooked and fed the other kids, loaded the dishwasher but I did the lions share. As he started to feel better I've been getting more tired and generally feeling run down so he's stepped up more so I can rest in the afternoon and he can rest in the evening. We are a tag team and I would accept no less. Yanbu. Your dh is being an arse, I appreciate working shifts is difficult but he should have got his arse out of bed earlier just so you could get a break.

phishy · 29/01/2022 16:24

He’s giving you the silent treatment after lying in until 3pm. Dickhead.

billy1966 · 29/01/2022 16:53

@phishy

He’s giving you the silent treatment after lying in until 3pm. Dickhead.

This.

Hope you feel better soon.

WonderfulYou · 29/01/2022 16:59

I completely agree.

He could have easily had 8 hours sleep and still woke up to give you some time to rest.if he was that tired he could just have an early night as well.

In his defence I was very tired a couple of days before I got covid symptoms and tested positive, so I wonder if it was the start of covid and he is feeling the same. He could still get up though.

Flip