What are the signs someone is really nosey?

[Teadrinker11]

Okay this sounds stupid but seriously, what are the red flags that someone is nosey? What kind of questions do they have to be asking to qualify as nosey rather than just being polite and making conversation? What other things does one have to do to identify themselves as being nosey?

@Thirtytimesround

One of my friends is sooooo nosy. Things that happen are:

• asking way too many questions and always about facts not feelings. She doesn’t care if you like your house or what you’re thinking of decorating she wants to know what you paid.
• screenshotting chats with her other friends/ strangers on fb and sending them to me with comments. 😱 (I don’t reply to these!!)
• Not letting me change th subject/ avoid a question. Asking and reasking different versions of the same question like she’s a detective.
• Juat asking too personal questions eg about the state of marriage / sex life.
• FB and rightmove researching acquaintances, then boasting about what she found out.

Why is she your friend?! This sounds intolerable!

I remember a school mum asking how much our car loan was. Colleague asking loads so now I say yes any news with you? Throw it back on them

When I get questions from nosey people who just want to meddle in mine or other peoples' personal business, I give then yes, no answers which puts an obstacle in their way. Closed answers sometimes help.

This place is not what it was......

jcyclops
They are female

You must be joking.

A guy I know is the biggest gossip ever. & so nosey. I avoid him like the plague, as do others who know what he's like.

@FourTeaFallOut

Nosey people will hear you dodge the answer to a question and then find another route to ask the same question again.

THIS IS IT TO A T.

@Fourteafallout has it. If someone is nosy rather than conversational they won't accept a vague answer, they'll keep pressing on. And usually show some sign of irritation that they aren't getting what they want. I am good at vague answers about my personal and business life and yes the truly nosy know you've dodged.

I think mumsnet over-analyses. If I followed every single response on here I might never start a conversation. General rule - if it feels good then it's okay, if it doesn't, it isn't!

[quote Twofurrycats]@Fourteafallout has it. If someone is nosy rather than conversational they won't accept a vague answer, they'll keep pressing on. And usually show some sign of irritation that they aren't getting what they want. I am good at vague answers about my personal and business life and yes the truly nosy know you've dodged.[/quote]
Love being vague about my personal/business life with nosy fuckers.

Got any more tips haha?

@AssemblySquare

I think I come across as nosey… I try not to, but I just love finding stuff out! I’m not a gossip though… that’s very different.

Where do you see the distinction? If you ‘love finding stuff out’, that sounds pretty nosey regardless of whether you then pass the information on to someone else.

Either a direct question method, or a more Colombo style way of gaining factual information.

A work colleague asked me how much I paid for my puppy. I thought that was nosey!

@quirkyme my favourite trick for the interrogative types is to not give short answers. Talk a lot but really told them nowt. It confuses people.

I have an acquaintance who is extremely nosey. She knows she is so she says she’s a people person or very interested in others.
What she doesn’t seem to understand is that her interest isn’t her right to know. She’s Constantly probing for snippets of information under the guise of friendliness.
I can’t believe the things she cares about. It’s all such boring trivia but then I’m a person who minds my own business and isn’t really interested in the wildest of gossip.

Deflection is the best tool. “How much was your car?” “How much was yours?” “Is that all your own hair?” “Is that yours?”
Just immediately bounce the question back. Stops them in their tracks because they know full well they’re being cheeky.

“Hope you don’t mind me asking..”
“You can say no if you don’t want to answer this but...”
“Not being nosey but I was wondering...”

All indications you’re a nosey bugger

@Allthestarsabovemyhead

A work colleague asked me how much I paid for my puppy. I thought that was nosey!

Look I sort of agree with you but maybe she's thinking about buying the same breed? I would just Google the cost and not ask the question though.

[quote Twofurrycats]@quirkyme my favourite trick for the interrogative types is to not give short answers. Talk a lot but really told them nowt. It confuses people.[/quote]
Excellent tip, I will try this.

Perhaps also appear not to understand the question?

I once did this to a very nosy neighbour who I couldn’t stand and who asked me about some work I had done in my garden: “Pardon?” Question repeated “Are you asking how much I paid?” Starts to look a bit sheepish. I gave a hard stare and said I needed to crack on. He doesn’t bother me any more.

A good sign is if they know far more than they should about everyone else.

Eg. I work with someone who came in to start her shift at lunchtime on a monday (id been in early) and said "obviously A isn't in as she's got covid now". She and A don't work together, arent friends who socialise outside of work, but nosey colleague saw that someone had posted in a local Facebook group about the local PCR drive in centre, "A" had commented something bland about the traffic when they'd been there on Saturday morning. Nosey colleague had then messaged everyone else she had details of at work until she'd established that A had covid. Nosey doesn't work in HR or A's department, they have no contact at work, so had no need to know if A had covid. Just couldn't leave it, had to find out why she had been at the test centre. (For herself or taking someone else etc)

Nosey colleague has also commented to others about people they know /places they've been from checking though their old social media comments/friends/followers. She will tell me things about people and I do think "how did you find that out?"

This is quite common in nosey people- the need to share with 3rd parties that they know more than everyone else. So if someone is telling you something about someone else that the other person probably wouldn't make public knowledge, its safe to assume they are equally noseying through your life.

Oh and non-nosey types will follow up "I hope you don't mind me asking..." with the reason for asking eg. "We are in the early stages of planning a garden overhaul and trying to work out how much I need to budget." "My sister is thinking of getting a puppy but wasn't sure if prices are starting to come back down." "Its just my son plays football with her son, so if its him that's got suspected covid ill cancel seeing my dad this weekend just in case."

Its the asking and having no reason to ask that is so obviously nosey.

Asking questions where a bit of basic common sense/social intelligence would tell you there's a good chance the person might be embarrassed by the answer - what their doctor's appointment is for, questions about their relationship problems, asking to see inside their house when it might be a mess etc. And then what FourTeaFallOut said.

When you start to feel uncomfortable with the persistence and number of questions

@Cocogreen

Nah they’ve just bought a cat and they don’t like dogs in their religion. She goes I’m just asking because I know dogs sell from around £2000-£3000. I said no a lot less than that! I think she wanted to know if I had money…..