Am I unreasonable?

[Timetoretiretospain]

I just said to my partner “ do you find me difficult?”
Just had a bad feel about way he was being. His reply was “you are difficult but I can’t talk to you about it or you will escalate it”. He has gone to bed. We’ve both had half a bottle of wine - he’s had a couple of pints before hand .
I honestly can’t think of anything I’ve done that is difficult. I’ve just booked online for a couple counselling session because I’m so disturbed.
Am I overreacting?

It's hard to tell without context. I don't think after half a bottle of wine is the best time to be thinking about these things. Pint of water, bed and address it with a clear head in the morning.

You're not overreacting - that's a serious thing for him to say. I think you've done the right thing to book couples counselling so you can discuss this calmly.

Depends what he means by it escalating. If you're regularly having blazing rows thats one thing, if he's really saying he's angry you won't shut up and agree with him thats different.

You have booked a couple's counseling session immediately and without asking him so I see his point when he said you'd 'escalate it'!

The fact you asked him maybe suggests you had a suspicion you’re a bit difficult doesn’t it?

No one can tell you…probably over reacting to book counselling without him? Some people ARE difficult. Some people need to learn better mechanisms to communicating. Perhaps one on one counselling is better suited until you know the issue. It’s not ok to book couples counselling without discussion…

Did you discuss the counselling with him or did you just go ahead and book it?

If you've unilateral decided that you're both going to counselling then 1) you're being difficult and 2) you're escalating it.

Something must have prompted you to ask him that question. Someone has said something to you, or you've noticed that he is finding some conversations with you to be tiring and hard work. For you to bring it up, must mean that you've got a feeling for yourself that you are being difficult to deal with.

I’ve just booked online for a couple counselling session because I’m so disturbed.
Am I overreacting?

I think you'd better tell us the backstory before you expect us to answer that. Your OP makes it sounds like a one-off discussion in which case it's a massive overreaction to jump online and start booking counselling sessions.

It sounds like you asked him if you are difficult, and he acknowledged yes you are, which feels very different from if he'd brought it up out of nowhere. As pp have said, to be so disturbed by this that you immediately book counselling does feel a big reaction.

What is it that prevents you from just talking about this between the two of you once you're sober?

There may well be a back story that contextualises all of this in a relationship which is going badly wrong and does need counselling. But what you've told us sounds like he's said something that's caught you off guard, and you need to understand what he meant by it.