To think I might get sacked/feel unsupported

[Wazza89]

Was cleaning for someone today using Flash and stupidly put the damp cloth on mahogany wood. Left a lovely white mark! Felt mortified and apologised profusely. She didn’t seem concerned but DH said he’d go ballistic if it were him. Now worried about being let go and he said, “potentially”.

Been doing a lot of stupid stuff lately. Getting my words and spelling jumbled up when reading to DS, misplacing stuff, etc. DH says, “You’re something else” or jokes about me being a bit special. I know he’s joking but I feel like s**t and have no confidence left!

Coming off my happy pills so don’t know if it’s that!

That's abit rubbish of your husband to say that unless he meant it in a concerned way or something.

Whereabouts was the marking on this mahogany wood? Is it in a highly visible place etc? Tbh if your client wasn't overly concerned at initial viewing of this i doubt they think it's a big deal. Maybe it can be covered/ the mark isn't on important furniture. Genuine mistake. Also, you owned up to it straight away!
Sounds like they accepted it ok!

Your DH doesn't sound supportive

There's a way to remove water marks from wood - something like a wet cloth on top of it and an iron on top of that - Google or YouTube it though!

@Mamamamasaurus @Fearnecuptea would’ve been nice to have some reassurance from him, but he is very funny about stuff like that.

You say 'funny'. I say 'dickish'

Your DH sounds horrible

I mix words up, make those kind of mistakes and struggle to regulate my emotions . I have ADHD. Their is nothing special about it - at least 1 in 10 are like me and we work at all levels and across all professions.

When your husband makes those comments do you point out how appalling his social skills are?

I've met men like your husband who would go 'ballistic' over small mistakes. They're generally small minded underachievers who try and drag other people down to make them feel better about their miserable little life. It's easier for them than addressing their issues.

As others have said if your client is ok with it there's no need to worry. Its no surprise your confidence is low and you've needed medication with your mood with the way your husband behaves.

I once hung up a wet dress on a dark wood wardrobe when we were on holiday in a hotel. I was horrified but by the next day it had dried out and the mark completely disappeared.

So hopefully that will happen.

should say in the above ... it left a white mark on the wood, but it disappeared by the next day.

If the customer wasn't overly bothered when you owned up, then you have nothing to worry about.
If it makes you feel better/more reassured, you could mention it to her again, and check her reaction. Tell her you are worried about it. She will very likely tell you not to worry!!

As for your DH he's being horrible to you. He is your husband. He is supposed to be on your side/supportive. It is as if he is deliberately trying to make you feel bad/keep you down. There is not much you can do to change what he says but you can change your reaction to it. Maybe think "if he is this negative then I'm not valuing his opinion of me!"

Maybe check with your GP regarding your medication. I'm not a medical person but believe that coming off some pills can be very difficult. See if you can get some support from your doctor.

Best wishes xx

@HMG107 He’s generally just very sarcastic towards everyone. It’s annoying that he has a razor sharp memory and picks things up every quickly. He gets frustrated with me because, although I’m very tidy, I constantly misplace things, find it hard to follow directions and sometimes instructions. One of my school teachers thought I had ADHD and wanted me assessed but my parents laughed it off because they didn’t really believe in it. My husband knows this but still makes comments which I find hurtful. When I tell him, he says he does it to everyone (which he does).

When I was a teenager, I was fired twice for having poor organisation and time management skills (I got orders mixed up, forgot instructions, etc). I did eventually find a good career and had decent references from my last job. I learned to write everything down and almost obsess over a given task, but I’ve always felt very insecure in any job role.

DH is the polar opposite. He was a prefect in school. He was offered a supervisor role when he was in his late teens. He always thinks he can run a company better than his managers. His focus is sharp and deep down I always think he’s better than me.

I also have ADHD and regularly fall over my words

Your DH is a bit of a dick

I have ADHD and regularly mix up words, make up words, and can't bring the word I need to mind. It's extremely frustrating and if I had a DH like yours berating me every time it happened it would be very upsetting and stressful, and probably make me do it more.

How old are you @Wazza89? ADHD worsens at peri menopause. Mine is on fucking steroids at the moment. Really struggling. Feel like my brain is melting.

@TooManyPJs I’m 32 so hoping it’s not that haha

We all make mistakes and you owned up and it was okay. Not sure what your DH is saying. Dipshit.

Anyway, I recommend using a walnut and rubbing it on the white mark. It releases the natural oils of the mahogany and the mark will darken. I used to do this with my mum’s old dining chairs.

I don't think I have ADHD but when I'm stressed/tired I make stupid mistakes, can't talk properly, humple my word, letters and numbers up.

Your DH sounds horrid. I have a cleaner and she's amazing. I wouldn't dream of letting her go over an accident- a)can probably be fixed b) I used to damage stuff all the time and c) I have insurance

Your DH is being unsupportive and unkind but he has a point that the person who’s table you damaged could go ‘ballistic’. Hopefully most people would deal with it more reasonably though.

DH is the polar opposite. He was a prefect in school. He was offered a supervisor role when he was in his late teens. He always thinks he can run a company better than his managers. His focus is sharp and deep down I always think he’s better than me.

Well I'd rather spend time with a nice person who messes up words (like me, also ADHD) than a dick.

What a very unpleasant man.

DH says, “You’re something else” or jokes about me being a bit special. I know he’s joking but I feel like st and have no confidence left!

He's a cunt. It's only a joke if everyone is laughing.

He always thinks he can run a company better than his managers

So why isn't he running his own company?

@Mamamamasaurus

Your DH doesn't sound supportive

There's a way to remove water marks from wood - something like a wet cloth on top of it and an iron on top of that - Google or YouTube it though!

Exactly this! I was taking something from the freezer yesterday and inadvertantly left something else out in the polished kitchen table so lovely marks this morning. I did the tea towel and iron thing and it's fine, I even did it on the bedroom furniture years after I used a bag of frozen peas on a sprained wrist, falling asleep with them on the bedside table! Don't do it for too long though as it can damage the surface, do it a couple of times rather than one long exposure.

If you're self employed you can take out insurance to cover accidents like this through Simply Business. Your "D"H is a nasty git.

Your DP sounds an unpleasant piece of work.

If that happened with my cleaner I certainly wouldn’t consider sacking her and anyone that did would be a total arsehole. So don’t worry about that.

It could be change in meds re forgetfulness, or lack of sleep/stress. Keep an eye on it, and check in with GP if it continues.

I am sure your DP has his points put it sounds like he needs a slap round the head with a wet haddock on this. Or maybe your mop..

Re your "happy pills", some antidepressants like effexor can be used to treat ADHD, so that could be impacting your memory/organisation.
Maybe your H could use his "superior" focus to learn about neurodiversity and cut you some slack