Is it me or the nursery??

[Smellymoo]

My child goes to a lovely nursery for about 3 hours a day.

My AIBU is that they let them play in the mud constantly. This today has resulted in two changes of clothes. The first one at nursery and the second was as soon as the lady had put my son in his trousers, she then handed him his very muddy boots to leave which he then smeared all over his trousers.

I’ve stopped sending gloves in because I only have 4 pairs and they need to be washed every day because rather than say asking them to take their gloves off before they play in the mud it’s just a free for all.

Am I being unreasonable that if they do this sort of messy play, they should either ask for them to come prepared for it (ie. Full suit) but also if they are wearing gloves they should be telling the children to take them off before going to the mud kitchen???

Today his coat is coated in mud and has to be washed again - because not only is the mud all over the place but it’s soaking wet.

To me - 3 hours is not long enough to warrant this level of washing, and also if he was doing a full day, he would then need about 4 pairs of trousers at the rate they go t through them.

Am I being ridiculous????? I may well be!!!! Should I just suck it up or should I ask nursery to do something and if so what!!!

I work in a preschool and we have some spare waterproof outer layers but not enough for each child as that would be very expensive for us to fund!!! We encourage the parents to dress their child ‘appropriate for the weather and outside play’. Messy play is sooo important for childrens development. The amount of learning they can do engaging in this type of play is huge. Yes it is annoying to do all the washing but the staff don’t have it easy even if all parents are sending the children in in waterproofs and Welles. When the children then go inside you’ve got a shed load of children (depending on age of child ratios are around 1adult to 5,6,7 children) to help get out of all their muddy waterproofs and Welles, put the waterproofs the right way again (cos the kids inevitably turn them inside out whilst taking them off ) and then help them all to get their inside/other shoes on!!
What we often suggest to parents of children who particularly enjoy muddy play is to have an all in one waterproof or trousers and coat and also send in Welles to keep at preschool so that the shoes they arrive in can be kept clean. In the warmer months where they might get too hot in an all in one but still be engaged in muddy play then just do the Wellies and waterproof trousers and then it’s just the tops that might need changing.

TBF as someone who was in no ways outdoorsy before kids, I never knew about puddle suits etc until my DS was 18 months old and the childminder suggested one. I had no idea where to even start with buying one.

Another tip is to buy cheap clothes you don't care about for nursery and school etc. That way you don't car if they get ruined. My DC always lose gloves so I wouldn't be too precious about them.

But that being said, I think you're being a bit precious about the washing. We do a load everyday (DH has a mucky job). Washing the kids clothes isn't that much additional work.

I find the fashions in childcare amusing. I can tell you that in my generation - I'm in my late fifties - that sort of play would not have been encouraged when we were children. Most mothers used primitive wringer washing machines and almost nobody had a clothes dryer. It was mostly natural fibres which took an age to dry as well and it would have been damply steaming away on a wooden clothes horse in front of the fire. Mothers in those days did not give a rueful smile when somebody had tracked mud through their house like the women in todays ads and pull out whatever wonder product is being sold. Children got stopped and were likely made to clean it up. I can't see what they are learning playing in mud unless perhaps there's a future rugby player in there.

In fact the only time I saw boys rolling in mud they were trying to get out of the school road run by claiming they'd tripped and fallen in a puddle but our ex Army PE instructor told them to stop whining and get back to the run when they turned up in dripping mud. I bet those teenage boys got a thorough telling off by their mothers.

@KatherineofGaunt

Just send him in in a puddlesuit every day? He clearly enjoys the muddy play. I'd try not to get annoyed about it and just pack plenty of changes of clothes.

This. There’s a nursery near us where they play in the woods every day. It’s lovely to see them playing in nature and clearly loving it.

OP I’d rather do an excessive amount of washing than have them indoors or only doing clean things.

Muddy puddles do excellent all in one waterproofs too.

I think washing is just part of nursery. I wash huge amounts of clothes from nursery, although it’s an outside nursery, there is constant mud paint etc…

We are required to provide two fleece lined waterproof suit, one thin waterproof suit, two sets of thermal under layers , two spare outfits, one pair of snow boots and one pair of wellies. All need washing every week on top of the clothes she goes in with everyday. You just need lots of spares, all ours are sourced free or second hand and I just shove it all in the wash at the end of the week.

Messy play is great for development. It's not just about getting dirty, it's having the freedom to explore their surroundings, feel the textures and experience fun.

Ask nursery to prewarn you/ or leave a messy suit there.

My nursery supply puddlesuits. Mud doesn't really bother me but I would send a puddlesuit anyway if nursery didn't provide them.

I might be a bit biased here, because as I child there was much hoo-haa if I got my clothes dirty playing. It was very stressful and I sometimes felt I couldn't join in properly with other kids lest I got my jacket muddy. So I make a point of letting our daughter play freely. I'm not washing her clothes, the machine is. She's 2, and I think not everything has to be about learning - nothing wrong with just having fun. Especially as being outdoors is so so good for them - stress busting, good for eyesight, for exercise, etc.

sounds like my DS at that age... he was outside in ALL weather. To be fair, it really never bothered me. It was more a sign that he enjoyed himself!

Just get puddle suit, cheap joggers and tops that can go in the tumble dryer and let DC play...
Once they start school, all this type of play will be replaced by sitting in a stuffy classroom most of the time.

YABU don't know why you couldn't just send the puddle suit. Plus 'it's fine if you don't have to do the washing' it's really not. Cleaning the actual children is the hardest job by far. Washing coats and clothes is just rinsing and putting in washer. Their hands, faces etc is another matter.

I send my P1 in a snow suit in the winter and puddle suit in the summer. Have done since nursery. Outdoor learning is a big thing so if you know that the nursery does it put them in a proper suit. I also provide 3 pairs of gloves and 2 hats.

YABVU. I'd love it if our nursery was like this. An horrendous amount of laundry is part and parcel of small children.

And YABVVVVVU about the gloves. Send them and wash them!

It’s you. If your nursery has a mud kitchen, this is expected.

My dd went to a forest school. I started picking her up equipped with multiple large towels because some days she was just a disaster head to toe. I would get her cleaned up just enough to put her into the car, often removing shoes and especially dirty clothing, put a thin towel in the car seat and another on the floor of the car, drive home, and carry her straight to the bath. Once she was clean, I’d gather everything up and do laundry.

Just send a all in one suit mine at a local playground was the one playing outside what ever the weather. Cheap gloves from Primark just picked up a couple of pairs in the sale they were half price at fifty pence When younger had a box full all the same colour. Today this day she is a lot more hardy than some of her friends we all have water proofs a trip to the park in the pouring rain just as much fun as one in the sun

[quote Thehop]@Viviennemary there’s EVERY need for daily play that inspires the child. In this case it’s muddy. So he’ll need a waterproof suit, and lots of changes.[/quote]
Oh don't bother. Viviennemary is a kill joy with strong opinions on children's "proper" behaviour.

@Rangoon

I find the fashions in childcare amusing. I can tell you that in my generation - I'm in my late fifties - that sort of play would not have been encouraged when we were children. Most mothers used primitive wringer washing machines and almost nobody had a clothes dryer. It was mostly natural fibres which took an age to dry as well and it would have been damply steaming away on a wooden clothes horse in front of the fire. Mothers in those days did not give a rueful smile when somebody had tracked mud through their house like the women in todays ads and pull out whatever wonder product is being sold. Children got stopped and were likely made to clean it up. I can't see what they are learning playing in mud unless perhaps there's a future rugby player in there.

In fact the only time I saw boys rolling in mud they were trying to get out of the school road run by claiming they'd tripped and fallen in a puddle but our ex Army PE instructor told them to stop whining and get back to the run when they turned up in dripping mud. I bet those teenage boys got a thorough telling off by their mothers.

Must be an area thing, I'm in my early sixties and we played in a LOT of mud!

It's definitely you. You need tonnes of spares and those waterproof fleece lines dungerees from Lidl. They are great and I just leave them muddy after Nursery to dry, and then put them back on the next day. If you're that bothered, I'd have a bag for life at the door, collect muddy clothes from the week and just do one big wash at the end of the week.

My daughter is outside at nursery every day doing messy play, mud, paint, playdoigh, baking, rolling around etc. She has a ball. She wears her Lidl waterproofs and treaspass jacket over her tracksuit and is never that mucky underneath. Her gloves need washing every day or they get lost or something but we have about 12 pairs. They take about an hour to dry on a radiator!

Honestly i prefer the wet muddy clothes from when they're outside to the paint covered clothes of inside!

No one told me what to pack either but i asked and adjusted accordingly. My boy is sent everyday with waterproofs (i have two sets) and wellies, a warm coat and 2 spare sets of clothes. He goes full days 3 times a week and I don't have to repack his bag everyday but often replace some bits!

YABU to not send your child in to nursery in appropriate clothing for the activities that you know he will be doing (it's not like they just brought the mud kitchen in overnight, you know it is there and they will be playing in it so you need to send your child with the right clothing)

Having said that, YANBU to expect that the nursery either makes sure all children have the right clothing for the activity (My DDs nursery didn't have puddlesuits and wellies for everyone, but they had a few spares for the ones whose parents just sent them in a waterproof coat on days when they were going to be getting muddy/messy) or adjusts the activity to make sure children aren't ending up muddy/wet if they aren't dressed for it or, after the first time a child is inappropriately dressed, they should be asking the parent to make sure they send little Johnny in with wellies tomorrow because his trainers got wet and muddy when they played in the mud kitchen and they play with it every day.

I can't see what they are learning playing in mud unless perhaps there's a future rugby player in there.

@Rangoon Speaking and listening as they play with each other, learning to communicate, role play, pretend play, using their imagination, turn-taking, fine and gross motor skills picking things up or stirring 'ingredients' in a bowl, descriptive words talking about the mud, learning how to make mud wetter or drier, observing mud and water when it's warm or cold or icy, singing songs to do with mud/bugs/cooking/shopping, learning to share, co-operation... That's just off the top of my head.