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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for Mumsnetters advice on how to justify this request?

23 replies

Ibrokemydietlastnight · 27/01/2022 08:24

DH has been offered a great new job. At the moment he wfh full time but is happy to take on a hybrid working pattern.

They’ve offered him 9-3 Mon to Fri in the office so he can leave to pick up kids - not actually necessary as I can do it some days. I think they misunderstood what he was getting at when he said he would like flexible working and he’s kicking himself for not being clearer.

He would much rather do 3 days x week in the office and 2 x wfh. Simply because he like many of us does not want to go back to working in an office every day.

However he’s struggling to think of reasons to justify this that are business specific. He wouldn’t have a big commute so it’s not that. It’s just the thought of going back to having to get dressed up in a suit and sit in an office every day that isn’t attractive.

Can anyone suggest ways of putting this to his prospective new employer?

Please, constructive posts only - no need to post that my DH is lazy or needs to learn how to negotiate properly, it isn’t helpful.

OP posts:

AperolWhore · 27/01/2022 08:29

I wouldn’t try to justify it, just reply there has been some confusion on his part and he thought it was a hybrid role of part office part work from home. Does three days in the office and two at home work for them? Just ask the question and see what they reply x

Cocomarine · 27/01/2022 08:31

It isn’t about “justification”. Even if he did have a long commute, that wouldn’t be a business justification for the company, that would be his issue. A perfectly understandable reason for asking - but not a justification.

He can just be upfront about the reason: I want the work-life balance of 2 non commute days. Nobody is going to question that as a reason.

Then he needs to be clear how it can work. E.g. in my case even if I were sat in the U.K. office, my entire job is with Eastern Europe teams. He could propose things like any 3 from 5, to make it clear he can attend in person big meetings called on a random day. He could agree to include a day that all his team aim to be in - if that’s a thing for him. We have a team that ask everyone to try to do Tue in office, for relationships.

Different things will apply to him. But either his company are supportive or not - if they are, they Will understand and accept that work life balance is a reason that needs no further justification.

saveforthat · 27/01/2022 08:31

Have you looked at flexible working request information on gov.uk? I know it's not strictly a fwr as he hasn't started there yet but it may give you some ideas. The difficult thing is you have to show there would be no detriment to the business which will be hard if he has never done the job. The only thing I can think of is he may be more focussed if not rushing off at 3.30?

Original poster

Ibrokemydietlastnight · 27/01/2022 08:32

Yes good plan. If their response is absolutely not then I think it’s not the job for him sadly, even though it’s a brilliant step up and he would be gutted to walk away.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ibrokemydietlastnight · 27/01/2022 08:33

That’s a good point save, less focussed if he’s trying to squeeze everything in before 3. Thank you.

OP posts:

MooSakah · 27/01/2022 08:44

Can he go back and say 9-5 would work for him if 2 days can be work from home, it would mean he could spend more time working.

Cocomarine · 27/01/2022 08:45

@Ibrokemydietlastnight

That’s a good point save, less focussed if he’s trying to squeeze everything in before 3. Thank you.

Hmmmm. That wouldn’t impress me actually. I look to recruit people who can manage their time well, so if their hours were 9-3 they wouldn’t be squeezing anything, they’d be planning around that availability. Saying he’d be squeezed actually suggests that flexible working is a bad thing.

What was the actual suggestion? That he still gets full time pay for 2 hours off every day?!

mynameiscalypso · 27/01/2022 08:48

If he's been offered 9-3 does that mean he's only been offered 30 hours per week (so part time). If so, I'd say that I'd rather have longer days and then a day off personally!

MajorCarolDanvers · 27/01/2022 08:52

He should just ask. Worst they can say is no.

Original poster

Ibrokemydietlastnight · 27/01/2022 08:52

No, the expectation is that he goes at 3, does school run then does another two hours at home.

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 27/01/2022 08:59

Then he just needs to say what he wants. That he’s excited about the opportunity but he’s looking for a company that’s offering hybrid model with some days WFH, and do they have people doing that?
And be prepared to talk about how it has worked well in his current company, if they say they have no experience of it.

Cocomarine · 27/01/2022 09:00

The fact they’re offering 2 hours made up at home is a good sign that at least some of his job can be done remotely, and that the technology supports that.

MooSakah · 27/01/2022 09:01

If you don't need all the days then he can say it will be less disruptive if he's 9-5 in the office 3 days and wfh 2.

Hoppinggreen · 27/01/2022 09:03

He can’t be that excited about the role if wearing a suit and commuting is putting him off
Having said that I don’t blame him for not wanting to do that every day so he should just ask whether the hybrid arrangements would work for them

Clymene · 27/01/2022 09:10

@Hoppinggreen

He can’t be that excited about the role if wearing a suit and commuting is putting him off Having said that I don’t blame him for not wanting to do that every day so he should just ask whether the hybrid arrangements would work for them

Eh? I hate getting dressed up and going into the office every day. I love my job.

Post covid most people want hybrid working.

Jedsnewstar · 27/01/2022 09:54

Eh?
I hate getting dressed up and going into the office every day. I love my job

Me too. Getting dressed up is the chore you put up with. Hence why people have weekend clothes and don’t have full office wear on a sat.

DoItAfraid · 27/01/2022 09:57

@MooSakah

If you don't need all the days then he can say it will be less disruptive if he's 9-5 in the office 3 days and wfh 2.

Agree with this.

Hoppinggreen · 27/01/2022 10:30

@Jedsnewstar

Eh? I hate getting dressed up and going into the office every day. I love my job

Me too. Getting dressed up is the chore you put up with. Hence why people have weekend clothes and don’t have full office wear on a sat.

Yes, if someone is genuinely very excited about a role it’s not enough to put them off. I know a lot of people prefer to be at home 5/3/2 days a week and if an employer agrees to it then it’s great but if not and you want the job then it’s just a price you pay for what is described as “a great new job” I’m just surprised at OPs suggestion that despite the job being great and a step up her H will only do it if he doesn’t have to commute each day (unless of course the commute is really difficult or too expensive)

Alpinechalet · 27/01/2022 10:35

He could also add, if appropriate, that having WFH for a considerable time he is able to judge which tasks are best suited to each working environment to maximise his productivity. Or something along those lines.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 27/01/2022 10:43

Perhaps being in the office every day takes a toll on DH’s mental health? It would be a deal breaker for me but I am neurodivergent.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 27/01/2022 10:44

I need the break from interaction and actually work much better at home without distractions.

Nanny0gg · 27/01/2022 10:48

@Ibrokemydietlastnight

Yes good plan. If their response is absolutely not then I think it’s not the job for him sadly, even though it’s a brilliant step up and he would be gutted to walk away.

Why? Before covid would he ever have questioned working in an office 5 days a week?

Yes it's all very lovely being able to wfh but I don't understand why it would be a dealbreaker when it's a step up and a job he wants,

Nanny0gg · 27/01/2022 10:49

Eh? I hate getting dressed up and going into the office every day. I love my job. Post covid most people want hybrid working.

But their employer may not.

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