People who don’t rsvp?!

[Pugsnotdrugs101]

Hope this is ok to post! Just after some advice I guess. I’ve organised a small birthday party for my DC and a couple of friends from school. It’s a pay per head as it’s an activity they’re doing. 2 people haven’t rsvp’d and I don’t know the parents to ask them at pick up. What do others do in this situation? If people don’t rsvp do you assume they aren’t coming and therefore don’t pay for them? I don’t want to pay for someone who won’t be there as it’s almost £20 per person, however I’d be mortified if they did show up and I haven’t paid and therefore they can’t be included! This is the first birthday party I’ve done like this. Thank you in advance for any advice everyone :)

Personally it's a suck it up situation if the parents turn up. If you don't rsvp then of course you can't expect your child to be accommodated.

Are the parents actually not there at pick up or you just don't want to talk to them?

@3scape thank you so much for replying! I was leaning toward thinking the same as you but wasn’t sure if I was being unreasonable and maybe just not up to date with birthday party etiquette! I thought maybe there’s a chance people just don’t rsvp these days!

@IzzyD0ra I have no idea who they are, only been at the school for 2 months or so but she really wanted to invite a couple of her new friends.

Do you have any social media channels you can use? We have a class Facebook group, could you ask if anyone knows the parents to see if you can get in contact with them to check? Other option is to check with the venue about last minute additions? People should get back to you either way so YABNU

@Caterinasballerinas I will ask if there is such a thing, thank you! I don’t want them to think I’m pushy or nagging lol!

So, so rude! Can you ask school to pass a message to them? Any school fb page you can ask on if anyone can get you contact details?

Definitely don't pay! But also don't be surprised if they turn up. Happened at one of my daughter's parties and thankfully it was a package party deal and there was space and I had contingency party bags - cheeky feckers didn't even get my daughter a card!!

Did you put a date to rsvp by ?

@shouldistop I didn’t, however the party is in 2 days!

@Piplette that’s so rude!

@Sprig1 I think I might just leave it to be honest, after reading the responses on here I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking they should of got back to me. I guess I will just assume no response means not coming!

Did you specifically ask for them to rsvp on the invite? If so and they haven’t assume they’re not going and don’t pay for them.

Are you sure they’ve actually got the invitations?

I have no idea who they are, only been at the school for 2 months or so but she really wanted to invite a couple of her new friends

Ah, could you get to pick up early so you're the first to collect and then ask your daughter to point out her friend so you know who the parents are and speak to them?
Don't be embarrassed about asking them to confirm, just go up to them with a cheery "Hello, I'm Sarah's mum, just wanted to confirm if Lucy is coming to the party on xx date as I need to let the venue know the numbers".

I just had a party for my son and of the 16 in nursery class only 9 rsvps and then 10 turned up. I’m fairness I hadn’t given much notice but was very surprised by the ones who just didn’t respond.

It is really rude but also very common.

For future years you can do something like give a date for the rsvp which might chivy a few along. You can say if they don't reply by x date it will be assumed they're not coming. Or say something like 'further details will be given on rsvp' (obviously you have to give date and time but this can be a meeting location, for example).

Doesn't help you this year though - maybe notes given to the kids to give to their parents as a reminder?

I didn’t RSVP to a party once when my DD was in year 1 but it was purely because the invitation had got stuck in the middle of a book in her bag and I hadn’t seen it. The Mum asked me about it and I apologised because I genuinely had no idea. Just ask the parents, get your DD to point the friends out at school run time then go over and ask.