He never complimented me...

[fluffyfluffycloudz]

But had plenty to say about women' looks in media and sport.
Why did he do that? He knew it hurt me
But he didn't change.
It's over now so I'm wondering now that I'm out the other side.
Turned out he was an emotional manipulator but this was also something he did.
I never felt that he was really attracted to me outside of the bedroom, despite a super sex life.

Anyone please.

Think you answered it yourself - he did it because he’s an emotional manipulator. He wanted you to feel second best. Sounds like an ex so try to not give him anymore head space and move on. Now you know what you don’t want in a partner.

Yes but why not compliment me and pass remarks on other women. Looking back it was horrible and made me self
Conscious. How is that emotionally manipulative?

He was being nasty, to keep you down.

Been there, got the t shirt, from my ex. Never, ever complimented me. Told me several times what his ideal woman looked like and it certainly wasn't anything like me.

My ex was abusive, and even from your brief comment, I'd bet yours was, too.

And I hope he's an ex. If not, he should be. It's not you, it's him.

@fluffyfluffycloudz

Yes but why not compliment me and pass remarks on other women. Looking back it was horrible and made me self Conscious. How is that emotionally manipulative?

It's negging. Things like this are said precisely so that you feel self concious, so that you end up feeling grateful for any crumbs of attention he gave you.

You deserve better than him, because you are worth it.

He is an ex.I'm processing it all atm.
I never really felt desired even though we had a great sex life but he was extremely selfish in bed at times.
He didn't like to make eye contact when we were intimate. Was this part of it too?

Thanks@TurquoiseDragon.
I remember recently being out and a young woman complimented me out of the blue on my hair and dress. I was delighted and surprised at her kindness as this never happened before and he totally brushed it off when I told him and when I was telling my daughter, again he was very cool or something. I can't even describe it.It was like he didn't like me getting a compliment and wanted to put
Me in my place. Am I making sense? Btw I'm very average... nothing exciting to look at but gosh, as a boyfriend I expected some nice words.

[quote fluffyfluffycloudz]Thanks@TurquoiseDragon.
I remember recently being out and a young woman complimented me out of the blue on my hair and dress. I was delighted and surprised at her kindness as this never happened before and he totally brushed it off when I told him and when I was telling my daughter, again he was very cool or something. I can't even describe it.It was like he didn't like me getting a compliment and wanted to put
Me in my place. Am I making sense? Btw I'm very average... nothing exciting to look at but gosh, as a boyfriend I expected some nice words.[/quote]
If he even tried to dismiss compliments you got from other people, then I suspect he wanted to destroy your confidence so he could treat you ever more badly, even to the point of physical violence, and you'd just put up with it because you're self-worth was gone! I'm sorry OP; I had a bf who did that to me years ago but I barely even remember him now and thank God every day I never had a child with nor married the sly little weasle! I realised a few years later he was shit-scared of loosing me to a better man and did it to ruin my belief in myself that I could do better. I have done better though, far better! My husband is lovely!
He's a poisonous bastard by the sounds of it! Be thankful it's over and spend some time building your self-worth and confidence before getting involved with a man again. Be kind to yourself and only mix with people who treat you with at least common courtesy but at best, with genuine affection and respect. Make a list of all your good points and achievements and read it to yourself every day before you leave the house. You deserve to be treated with consideration and decency by everyone in your life and with love and respect by any partner, bf or husband, so keep reminding yourself of this! All the best OP!

The lower your self esteem and confidence, the easier you are to control and treat badly I'd guess.

@fluffyfluffycloudz I can understand the need to process. I've been away from my ex for 4 years now, so have had time to process things.

I'm ashamed that I only left after 30 years and two children, I'd been ground down so much.

So head trying to belittle me ?
I am naturally very confident but I was beginning to feel a bit on edge around him, does that make sense?

I was always on eggshells around ex, because he rode over all my boundaries.

4 years on, my confidence is back and I wouldn't tolerate this behaviour now.

He was a dickhead, as I’m sure you already know. He didn’t compliment you because he was a horrible person. Dwelling on this isn’t going to make you feel better.