Changing room etiquette - WIBU or was she?

[Borissbirthdaycake]

At the swimming pool for my DD's swimming lesson. In the changing rooms there are only two cubicles for privacy and the rest are benches. DD(9) prefers privacy and we normally manage to get a cubicle.

Today on arrival both cubicles were busy so we got changed on the bench and left our stuff on the peg. Half an hour later the lesson ends and I have to walk through the changing room to collect DD from poolside. One of the cubicles is now empty so I put our stuff in there and pull the curtain.

However when DD go back to cubicle two minutes later, the curtain is open and someone else's stuff is on top of ours. All the kids finish at the same time so I knew this person's arrival was imminent but I moved their stuff to a bench, closed the curtain and DD starts getting changed. Then the curtain is pulled open and a lady and her grandson are standing there. I apologised and said our stuff was already in the cubicle and I pointed at her stuff that I had moved to a bench. We were both wearing masks and it was loud in there so I couldn't hear what she was saying in response but she did walk away and got her DGS changed on the bench.

She couldn't possibly have missed our stuff being in the cubicle and all the kids finish at the same time so she knew we were coming back. As far as I'm concerned the cubicles are first come first served - if it's empty, crack on, if there's stuff there, you've missed out. WIBU in "bagsying" an empty cubicle for the two minutes it took to get DD out of the pool - although that's what the other woman was trying to do by putting her stuff in there with ours.

This is a weekly lesson with the same people so we will keep seeing each other - I just want to know if I was in the wrong!

So what if you get out of the pool, mid change your child says they need the loo - do you have to move all your stuff and risk losing the cubicle? Of course not. The OP wasn’t gone any length of time and in this instance reserving the cubicle is acceptable.

Both wrong. No bagsying allowed.

a poor dad had to change himself & little one in community changing room but good on him he put himself in the corner with his back to everyone else -
(I was with dd & dgc extra pair of hands

Both in the wrong but perhaps if it was a ladies changing room then it would have been kinder to let the grandma with a young grandson use it?

I agree that "bagsying" isn't on, but you got there first with an actual child.

She opened the curtain because she had left her stuff in there snd was planning to use it, just like you!

I can understand why she would think it better to change her grandson in a cubicle rather than in the open in a women / girls changing room.

Both in the wrong with the bagsying.

Both wrong

You were both wrong about the bagsying, that's incredibly poor manners.

Subsequently I would say you were wrong again, as it would be the decent thing to do to let a woman with an opposite sex child have the cubicle. That serves everyone else's privacy as well as their own.

If it's a female changing room I think it's more appropriate the male child uses the cubicle.

(misses point)

Both unreasonable but she was more unreasonable. If she think bagsying is acceptable then she needs to accept it if someone gets there first. I be on her side if she’d moved your stuff and gone in to use the changing room immediately.

If there are so few cubicles I would invest in a towel poncho for your granddaughter to get changed under. Use these all the time as an outdoor swimmer and nothing on show.j

Unless the children usually go with a same sex carer, isn't it likely there were more than just one boy in the communal area?

This is the sunbed situation all over again. If I ever see towels and no owner, I move and lie down. I’d have done exactly the same in this situation. You were very selfish and how was this lady supposed to know you would be ‘two minutes’ (I bet you weren’t)

No bagsying

You were both unreasonable but you were physically in there when she arrived so you were right to continue using it.

As an aside, it's appalling that people are having to fight over limited space to get changed without an audience. Turns out privacy and dignity really are important to people. Who knew.

Off the point, but please just wait outside the changing rooms for a 9 year old. Changing rooms are hell on Earth after lessons without gratuitous extra bodies being in there.

YABU to try to bagsy the cubicle with your stuff. It is first come first served, but for real people not their stuff!!!

Funny that when someone else bags a cubicle, you can see it's wrong selfish entitled and rude. Yet you think its entirely justifiable for yourself and DD.

As far as I'm concerned the cubicles are first come first served

Exactly. No chucking stuff in there. You were wrong.

In our local pool the staff go round removing left items in cubicles. If I’ve finished a lesson and there’s stuff left in a cubicle I’ll still use it and the owner has to wait for me to finish before they can get their stuff back.

You were both unreasonable to bagsy it, but she was extra unreasonable for her behaviour.

How would the other woman know that you had just put your stuff in there and not left it for the whole lesson?

Sounds like you both were BU

But also why can't a 9 year old walk through a changing room on their own

Yabu for bagsying and as had already been said there’s no need for you to be there for a child 8+. If the boy was 8 or over he should have been in the mens.