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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People saying 'you're welcome' in emails

106 replies

dipdye · 26/01/2022 14:25

Who has time for this?!

Sent an email to say thank you, which IMO closes the conversation. Person emails back 'you're welcome'.

It's just unnecessary

OP posts:
dipdye · 26/01/2022 18:21

I'm back, nine Grin

As predicted I was deleting emails

OP posts:
HomeIsDogs · 26/01/2022 18:31

It's not a question of me having time to say it... It's the recipient opening the (100th that day) email!

Maybe think how lucky you are to work with so many polite people if so many of them are sending these emails. I’ve worked with some really rude cunts in the past.

HelloFrostyMorning · 26/01/2022 18:35

@dipdye

Divisive responses then!

It's not a question of me having time to say it... It's the recipient opening the (100th that day) email!

Not divisive. Most people think YABU.
maddiemookins16mum · 26/01/2022 18:49

I don’t on emails (mostly) but do on teams pretty much always - with the smiley face too. If someone said thanks verbally, I’d say ‘you’re welcome’ too.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 26/01/2022 18:56

I cannot see the point of this post.
Who has time for this?
You do.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 26/01/2022 20:10

Sorry that sounded a little bit rude.

girlmom21 · 27/01/2022 07:16

@sillysmiles it's not basic manners. It's a waste of time and energy.

I'm a stickler for manners.

Kroot · 27/01/2022 07:20

I’m with OP on this one. Completely utterly unnecessary especially since each UK adult sending one less unnecessary email per day would reduce carbon emissions by 16,433 TONNES per year.
So not just unnecessary, but also actively harmful

Flowertailbird · 27/01/2022 07:23

It is polite. It is a nice thing to do. I've just started in a new job and the rudeness of other staff and lack of basic manners is astounding. I received a 'you're welcome' reply yesterday and it was a breath of fresh air which probably took 2 seconds but made a world of difference.

AlDanvers · 27/01/2022 07:29

@Lowkeyloopy

For those of you saying “it takes a second to delete”, out of interest roughly how many emails per day do you receive? And can you explain what industry you work in (without outing)?

For my sins I work in the corporate world where I’m afraid time is money because I record and bill clients in 6 minute units, and so every “thank you” email I receive is quite literally a waste of time and money. Yes it takes a second to delete, but that’s after you’ve become distracted from your work by the pop-up, gone back to your inbox and potentially lost your train of thought. In the meantime I have a timer running for the work I’m actually meant to be doing, which I probably won’t switch off while i’m returning to my inbox, deleting an email, getting irritated and trying to return to what I was doing. Yes perhaps that’s only 20 seconds of time lost per “thankyou” email, but if you’re the client paying approx £10 per minute for what I’m working on, you probably would prefer those seconds not to add up!

I’ve ended up turning email notifications off so I don’t get distracted by emails, particularly the unnecessary ones, and just check my inbox regularly when I reach a place I can pause.

As for what emails I send, it’s about striking a balance of course - if someone has done a substantive piece of work for me, I’ll respond to thank them, but that will usually be included within an email giving comments / progressing the work further. If I’ve asked someone something small (ping me a document I can’t find, for example) I’ll probably say “many thanks in advance” in the initial request - not rude but means no need for another email either.

And for those ready to crow “can’t be that busy if you’re posting on MN”, I’m on mat leave and baby isn’t here yet!

Can't say I have counted per day. But since 8pm last night I have received 42. That's during the period we are closed.

I work in a private company. Corporate. I head up finance and both internal and external (investors) reporting and have 39 direct reports across 4 teams.

My pop up really doesn't distract me. I look to see who it is. Carry on what I am doing and clear my inbox of anything I don't need a few times a day.

The vast majority of people don't bill clients per minute or 6 minutes. Besides which managing your inbox is a basic part of every job. Surely, when you worked out what your time is worth, you worked in all the little extras that take time and set your charge accordingly?

Random789 · 27/01/2022 07:34

This is reminding me of that Alan Bennett monologue, Lady of Letters, where she writes something along the lines of 'thank you' to a council official and he replies with something along the lines of'you're welcome'. She writes back saying that it was a waste of council time and money for him to have replied. Then she is miffed about not getting a reply to her letter about unnecessary replies. Grin

Redwinestillfine · 27/01/2022 07:36

Isn't it a standard auto reply on phones? If so politeand takes seconds....Confused

BobLemon · 27/01/2022 07:44

I totally feel this. As the OP says, it’s the having to open the bloody email. See also:- people who write “thank you” on a reply to all.

girlmom21 · 27/01/2022 07:50

@Redwinestillfine

Isn't it a standard auto reply on phones? If so politeand takes seconds....Confused
Most people only email from their phones if they're busy - like in meetings or waiting for their train. If that's the case they're not going to appreciate a "thank you"/"you're welcome" exchange.
Thriwit · 27/01/2022 07:54

I used to work somewhere that had a blanket policy of no emails unless they contained actual information. So no “thank you” or “you’re welcome”. It was brilliant! The same company also has a policy of no meetings over 30 minutes unless with external clients. That was also brilliant.
They were big into making the most of people’s time and reducing unnecessary workload.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/01/2022 08:28

Could you respond with 'No worries'? ... as that's even more irritating.

thisplaceisweird · 27/01/2022 10:14

@Thriwit

I used to work somewhere that had a blanket policy of no emails unless they contained actual information. So no “thank you” or “you’re welcome”. It was brilliant! The same company also has a policy of no meetings over 30 minutes unless with external clients. That was also brilliant. They were big into making the most of people’s time and reducing unnecessary workload.
Love this! Cutting down unnecessary chatter is so much 'nicer' than saying thank you/you're welcome. I make sure my team feels appreciated, and they show me respect. It's not done in those silly exchanges, I don't lose anything from not sending them or receiving them.
thisplaceisweird · 27/01/2022 10:16

@lucylucyapplejuicy

If you have time to post on Mumsnet you have time to say your welcome. People use their time differently....obviously I am one of the people posting on Mumsnet instead of using my manners Blush
Nope. I don't work all hours of the day. When I posted on this thread, I assume like the others, it wasn't within my working hours, I am purposefully NOT busy outside of my working hours!
dipdye · 27/01/2022 14:23

To reiterate once again, it's not about the sender being polite, it's about the recipient

Confused

We know it takes only seconds to send - but the recipient spends /wastes time opening and reading the (useless) information

OP posts:
MrsMorningStarOfBethleh · 27/01/2022 14:25

@AtrociousCircumstance

Is it because you wanted the last word Grin
This 😂
Skinnytailedsquirrel · 27/01/2022 14:26

Emails aren't letters, they are to-the-point notes. I can't understand people starting emails with "Dear whoever" either. Pretend manners.

SirChenjins · 27/01/2022 15:54

It depends on the email. I send plenty of emails which are not to the point.

The one that absolutely boils my pee and which is guaranteed to delay my reply to them is people who start emails with your first name only - bugger off, you ignorant twat. It’s like starting with ‘right you, or ‘look’ or ‘Im telling you to do X’. A bit of courtesy is all that’s required.

dipdye · 27/01/2022 15:59

(Dear) SirChenjins

You're absolutely fine right! Only using the first name IS rude, I'd never do that

It makes it into an order if you don't say hi/dear etc

OP posts:
Skinnytailedsquirrel · 27/01/2022 16:16

@dipdyedipdye...I disagree. An email is very casual, it's like talking to someone so you might say

"Susan, did you manage to complete the order?" Why would you say anything else?

Phos · 27/01/2022 16:29

Attitudes like this are what make navigating work and email etiquette a nightmare. Don't send thank yous because Dipdye thinks its pointless but then Director over there thinks you're rude.