Will my possibly autistic 3 year old have a conversation with me one day

[JackPeter4]

My DS has just turned 3 and has been reffered to the relevant professionals as he is speech and language delayed and showing signs of ASD. He's a gorgeous child and the light of my life. Happy. Affectionate. Sleeps and eats well. Plays with his toys. Now points to request things. But struggles to understand and follow directions and can't really speak much yet, although this has definitely come on in the past couple of months! Can now label a few things in context and say a few exclamatiory phrases such as oh dear! And also ready, steady go.
My biggest wish in this life is to have a conversation with my sweet boy one day
I would be the happiest woman in the world

He sounds like a lovely little boy.

Does it help to think that he's already having conversations with you? And always has? In the way he asks for stuff or shows you what he needs and you offer what he wants and meet those needs, it's already a conversation. I know what you mean though. You want to hear his voice and share his world. There's no way to know what language skills await any child but he has some good building blocks there with the labelling and exclamations and he has the right referrals in place so here's hoping to progress on the language. But keep up all the other communication too and don't be afraid to celebrate it. Have you thought about signing?

My son is 7 and is asd and also has moderate learning difficulties. He too had speech delay, he's still under speech and language now, but we can hold a conversation of sorts. Its not a typical conversation that I could have with my older child at that age but we can converse, which tbh I didn't think would happen. He's the most amazing little boy and so incredibly funny. Hopefully your little boys speech will continue to improve. If it doesn't, just go with it. You just need to work out other ways to communicate. Having an asd child changes you, for the better imo.

Thank you both x

Yes! Cousins non verbal autistic son is now very verbal!! Started off with singing and naturally progressed.

Mines 13 now. Speech was very delayed. She was 6 before we got any three word phrases but after that she flew along. She's currently filling me in on "the tea" that's going on at her alternative provision school (tea means gossip apparently lol).

All the best x

Are you doing any signing with your child? That can help with communication.

Maybe, maybe not. But if it's the latter, and I do hope not, it doesn't mean you won't communicate, just not in the way you imagined. My DD is non-verbal ASD (age 7) and I went through this, I guess I do still have a small hope but now I don't expect verbal communication and I think I've come to terms with it a lot more than when she was 3. We have a lovely, close relationship it's just not the same as the one I have with her NT sister.

Sounds like my son at that age. He's 8 now and doesn't stop chatting. We used to model language for him so literally tell him what to say. Eg if he was in the kitchen looking in the cupboard we'd say 'Im hungry please mummy'. He'd repeat it and gradually it helped him find his voice.

Hope that doesn't come across as a negative as it's not meant to be I just used to cling onto every post or comment I heard about how someone knew a non-verbal kid who "turned around one day and started speaking in full sentences". I spent years hoping for this and now I think I've accepted it's not likely for us. There are more important things and we have a lot to be thankful for and I try to remind myself that on the hard days.

My son didn’t speak until he was 4 (and I didn’t until I was 5!). Yesterday he recited a poem in school which was SO good I thought his teacher had written it. He’s 11. We’re both autistic.

My DS is non-verbal in the usual sense but communicates using text-to-speech on his phone. His level of vocabulary and communication is like any other 12 year old and we don't any more consciously notice that he is having conversations in a different manner from other people. This is quite unusual, but I just tell you to illustrate that there are many ways of having conversations and thinking flexibly may be needed, but a boy as engaged and interactive as yours is going to be conversing with you albeit maybe in a different way. Be alive to all possibilities.

Warning! Thinking he was non-verbal, I didn’t care much what I said around him. It ALL went in. he remembers everything.

If he's only just turned 3 then he's still young. Keep talking to him as much as possible about what you are doing, describing everything to him and read him lots of stories. Play with his toys with him and talk about what you (and he) are doing with them. He sounds adorable!

A friend's son didn't speak at all until he was 6 and then only to horses for a while. He does have conversations now although very slowly.

My DD mostly used Makaton and miming until she was 7. She has what's classed as moderate LD's, Autism and S&L issues. She went to a SN schools. She works and has a few friends.
We share a love of horror, star trek, anime, alternative stuff on TV and have long conversations about everything. He is communicating with you and will continue to do so. It sounds as though the speech capabilities are there and they will continue to develop.

People can only give you their own anecdotal experience here.

The fact is that nobody knows, and the risk of asking here is that there will be people who give you their examples of how it happened with their child and may leave you clinging to every one of them as a reassurance that it will happen for your child one day as well.

Thing is, you are already communicating, not in verbal conversational terms but in many other ways which to be honest many verbal children don’t communicate either. Hold on to that, what’s meant to be will be, and you will grow with your child in terms of your ambitions and acceptance of what and who he is.

@JackPeter4

My DS has just turned 3 and has been reffered to the relevant professionals as he is speech and language delayed and showing signs of ASD. He's a gorgeous child and the light of my life. Happy. Affectionate. Sleeps and eats well. Plays with his toys. Now points to request things. But struggles to understand and follow directions and can't really speak much yet, although this has definitely come on in the past couple of months! Can now label a few things in context and say a few exclamatiory phrases such as oh dear! And also ready, steady go. My biggest wish in this life is to have a conversation with my sweet boy one day I would be the happiest woman in the world

OP I could have written this post myself. My DS just turned 3 in Dec, his speech and language is behind and he just started preschool in January and the school have already got the ball rolling for referral to S&L therapy and they've mentioned ASD as a possibility which we thought ourselves already. He speaks quite a lot but only to say phrases or lines from TV. If he wants to get his cars out of the box he says "open it up let's see what's inside" Every single time, no matter what it is it's always that full phrase, even if he wants me to open a yoghurt (I always say we know what's inside it's yoghurt 😂) He also sings a lot, he's got a great memory so repeating lines he's heard is easy but he won't talk in sentences, or have a conversation or answer a question, it's like he can't put words together himself.

It depends. My adult DS who is severely autistic can say single words but you can’t have a back and forth conversation with him. we mostly communicate just fine to get his wants/needs met. He “can “ talk but doesn’t have enough understanding of language to use it functionally.

Many autistic people speak though. Your son is very young, things will change daily with him. It’s hard not to worry what the future holds though, I know but it’s impossible to say.

My daughter was just as you described, and diagnosed autistic just before 3. After diagnosis they started us on PECS and things like visuals to help her understand the world. She could name colours etc but wasn't good at doing it to order or holding a conversation, or asking for things. Her speech was really unclear. The PECS taught her how to request things, step by step. After this she just flew.
Nowadays she's 12 and if you met her today you would never realise she had had such difficulties with language and communication in her earlier years.
Obviously no guarantees for your son, but just wanted to let you know that you never know what the future holds.

Temple Grandin didn't speak until she was 3 and a half. She did have professional intervention, her mother advocated strongly for her, as at that time children were institutionalised. Maybe her story could help you.

My sister has ASD and a learning disability. She was almost totally non verbal for years- initially at a speech and language unit for school and then a specialist school.
I can't remember when she started talking but whilst she has significant difficulties in other areas (now in 30s) she never stops talking and her language skills are very very good.

Hello JackPeter4
How is your little one doing now? I am in a similar situation with my little one and I wonder how things are with your little one now.

Hi! It is the original poster here. My son turned 5 in January and has come a long way since I posted this .. He isn't conversational yet but his speech is accelerating every day and I have high hopes for him. He literally talks non stop! He is able to tell me his needs and wants, he loves reciting lines off the TV lol, he sings, he is just starting to put sentences together ❤️ he is doing really well at nursery, still not sociable with other kid's but very playful with family members and has fab imaginative play too. I remember when he couldn't even understand an instruction like "give that to me", now he understands a lot of what I say to him. Will turn off the light when I ask him to, go fetch a certain book, go and find a toy that I've told him is upstairs, that kind of thing. He follows basic instructions at nursery and has just started joining in with group time. He will be going to mainstream school this year with extra support. (Held back a year). I did want a SEN school but there was other kid's with more severe challenges and they didn't want him in a non verbal environment as his speech is progressing all the time now. X