To tell my NDNs to shut up

[Finallylostit]

Context : Victorian Terrace - 10 inch brick walls and plaster between the houses
neighbours on one side - never hear a peep
previous neighbours on other side - only heard vv occasionally - think soccer matches, sport and their team scoring a goal ( not issues), neighbours before them - never heard

not so new neighbours - so far this evening - I know they have had vegetarian risotto for supper, they need more money, have hoovered, banged things in the wall, dropped pans, shouted at each other, phoned two friends who are staying over night on Saturday, done the washing up, opened the frontdoor and slammed 7 times, slammed the bathroom door equal number are now currently banging something along the skirting board, playing jazz music, sung etc

I know they will go to bed about 0100 and the banging will continue till about 0145

I want to tell them to shut the fuck up and what selfish MFers they are. My home was my sanctuary every evening - now it is a nightmare of loud screaming squealing banging drilling and hammering.

How can some people be so bloody ignorant of the noise they make and so selfish - she had the cheek to complain last Saturday that one of my sons was shouting on the Xbox whilst playing with his friends in the afternoon circa 1400 and it disturbed her afternoon nap ( no not a night shift worker)

I dont want to move, I love my home but they are driving me to drink

They probably don’t realise how noisy they are. They probably don’t realise the walls don’t have a cavity (original Victorian terraces generally don’t).

So you either knock and risk neighbourly relations going down the pan or you do something slightly childish but which may make them realise the walks aren’t very thick; and that is to get the hoover going, put the tv or radio on loud etc, at a time they’ll hear it.

Or they may already know because you’re not as quiet as you think!

Have they removed the carpets when they moved in? We live in a terrace and can hear the neighbours in their living room where they’ve wooden floors. We don’t hear them upstairs where it’s all carpeted

Ohhh her complaining last week was your perfect opportunity to say “yes the walls are really thin aren’t they, we can hear everything from yours! Gosh you are real night owls! ”

But they have to live? They’re allowed to talk & wash up & make a phone call in their own home??!

Doesn't sound like they're doing anything wrong op. You need to sort the sound proofing. Will be worth it

I thought you were being a bit intolerant until I got to the 1.45 cease time.

I’d have a polite word!

They probably know and sont care. Like my neighbours who when they know I'm in deliberately talk loudly and slam their doors too. Except today I was in my garden and they didn't know and as they came out to their shed and went back in they actually closed the door normally instead of slamming it.

I just think they are cf at this point.

We live in a similar property and my neighbours are the same. I'm the type of person to avoid politely speaking to them and will go straight to war, but if you're on good terms or will be living there for a long time, maybe let them know they're being loud.

Bloody hell are you my neighbour? You're obviously not because they had the bloody audacity to ask me to keep the noise down this week

All I was doing was talking in my living room. Everyday since then (I'm now keeping a log!) all I've heard is screeching and shouting. They've been a bloody nightmare since they moved in and I was stupid enough not to challenge them first so now it looks like I'm the noisy one

That sounds like just normal household notice. You can't expect them to work around your earlier bedtime

Well, now I’m worried!

We live in a Victorian flat and I sometimes worry that we’re too disruptive - we have alarms going off at weird times (unusual work hours), pets doing their thing, and a horrifically loud washing machine.

We also do all the things you listed and it never even crossed my mind that they could be problematic as well - they seem like part of everyday life. However, given your NDN’s reaction to the Xbox, I can see why you’re annoyed - shows a complete lack of self awareness on her side.

Tbh i feel like we are much worse than your NDN so maybe you can take comfort in that! Our NDN have never said anything, which I’m grateful for - I’d usually tell you to keep the peace and follow their example, but I think the Xbox comment changes things…

But they have to live? They’re allowed to talk & wash up & make a phone call in their own home??!
We are in a Victorian Terrace. I almost never hear a peep from next door on either side. Both are very definitely alive and well. They talk, they wash up, they cook, they make phone calls......... all of which Im oblivious to and them me.

Living next door to people doesnt mean being silent but it also doesnt mean making so much noise that your neighbours know your every move!

I feel your pain, OP. We've got awful neighbours and it has completely ruined our quality of life. For context, my 3 year old DS is regularly freaked out by the noise they make. He's quiet, but perfectly used to nursery and soft play type of environments and is never phased by the noise.

The door banging is just fucking antisocial. It's not the noise of normal family life, it's indicative of self-absorbed, inconsiderate arsehole behaviour.

The comment regarding the xbox would suggest to me that she's trying to antagonise. I'd usually say don't rise to it, but now you've identified her weakness as Saturday afternoons....

We are in a Victorian Terrace. I almost never hear a peep from next door on either side.

Me too. Each side has had a baby and I barely hear them at all. One side went away for 2 weeks at Christmas last year and I only realised they'd gone because I hadn't seen their car for a few days.

I've always owned Victorian and have very rarely heard the noise of "normal living". They must be incredibly loud.

You have my sympathy. I've had all types of families live next door to me including crying babies, I know what is a normal level of noise for a terraced house, the noisiest of all the people who've lived next door has been a single woman who was so loud on her phone calls we could hear literally ever single word and she'd be on the phone from 1am til 5am. Every single night. My mental health was on the floor from lack of sleep because she was keeping me awake and there was days dh had to phone in sick because he wasn't safe to drive all day, i was so happy when she moved and that it was only for a couple of months because I'd read that the council can take years to sort antisocial levels of noise out.

I spoke to her a couple of times and she'd say sorry and that she didn't realise how loud she was and said I should just go knock on her door when she's loud . I'd be knocking her door at 3am, and she'd not hear me.

There's normal level of living noise you expect to hear in a terraced house but this isn't it.

Have a polite chat with them and perhaps give them some embarrassing examples of their noise that you’ve heard so far. Esspecially because they’ve complained about your DC, they can hardly be annoyed if you complain about their noise as well.