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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how the peri-menopause affected/affects you?

46 replies

RainbowBriteUk · 25/01/2022 21:58

I'm 38 and I swear I'm going through the peri-menopause. I'm hot most of the time and if not, freezing. There's no inbetween! Life is either sweetness and light or i'm raging with hormones! Again, no inbetween, I'm constantly fatigued, and my memory is almost non-existent. It's not fair! It might be something else, but whatever it is, I don't like it!

OP posts:
emsmar · 26/01/2022 09:50

I'm 37 and think it's slowly starting. Cycle has went to 24 days and is really long. Memory is absolutely atrocious. Couple of crying episodes and mood swings after period finishes over the last 5 months, never had that before. Breast cyst was a new one! Always tired.

emsmar · 26/01/2022 09:50

My mum was in full menopause hot flushes etc by the time she was just turning 40!

emsmar · 26/01/2022 09:51

Also night sweats!

MedusasBadHairDay · 26/01/2022 09:52

I've been wondering if I'm going through perimenopause because I've been waking in the night absolutely drenched in sweat, or during the day I'll feel like someone has lit a fire right in front of me so my face and chest feel like they are burning up.

No other symptoms though, and I'm on the pill which means I don't get periods anyway (reluctant to come off and find out if they've stopped properly though)

BlondeDogLady · 26/01/2022 09:58

@Cupcakesandjam

Periods stopped. Nothing else.
This is what I am hoping for!

I'm 52. Periods were regular until a few weeks ago. I haven't had a period for 7 weeks now though (this is the first blip ever). I get a couple of hot flushes a day. They are totally manageable - take top layer off, stand by open window, and within 2 minutes it's gone. I don't sleep great, but that's the norm for me. I do feel hot a few times a night, but I have a fan on, so if I just throw the covers back, it passes real quick. If this is all it is, I'll be well happy! I am so looking forward to not having periods. No having to calculate if you will need tampons on your beach holiday. No tummy pains. Bring it on!! If anything escalates from here, I will be asking for HRT.

MarshaBradyo · 26/01/2022 10:02

47 nothing really yet but will do more than just well being stuff if I feel worse in time

BlondeDogLady · 26/01/2022 10:05

@MedusasBadHairDay

I've been wondering if I'm going through perimenopause because I've been waking in the night absolutely drenched in sweat, or during the day I'll feel like someone has lit a fire right in front of me so my face and chest feel like they are burning up.

No other symptoms though, and I'm on the pill which means I don't get periods anyway (reluctant to come off and find out if they've stopped properly though)

Set an oscillating fan up in your bedroom! When I get into bed, it feels too cold with it on, so I snuggle down into the duvet. During the night, when I feel too hot, I just throw the covers off, and the air from the fan cools me down within about a minute and I can then pull the covers back up, and drift back to sleep. It's absolutely wonderful. Even DH would struggle to sleep now, without our lovely cool air flow. It's so lovely!
PinotPony · 26/01/2022 10:24

Would recommend Cracking the Menopause by Mariella Frostrup.

I'm 47 and in receipt months feel exhausted (despite being fit and healthy). Also noticed increased anxiety... don't like to drive anymore... not socialising much. If I feel the same in a few months I'm going to request HRT.

Bear in mind that HRT also protects you against osteoporosis and heart issues, these things often aren't diagnosed until it's too late.

Helenahandkart · 26/01/2022 10:39

I started having peri symptoms at around 33/34 but didn’t put two and two together at that point. I’m now 46 and still in perimenopause. I couldn’t get HRT previously because I spent years doing IVF and the two weren’t compatible, so have only recently started it.
My initial symptoms in my 30s were a gradual decline in both libido and physical sensation, night sweats, hot flushes, periods becoming lighter.
Now I have the full compliment of symptoms (all of the above plus weight gain, extra hair on my face, mood swings, anxiety and rage, no motivation to do anything, brain fog, vaginal dryness, migraines, aching joints and probably some others that I can’t pinpoint right now).
I wish I’d been more aware of perimenopause in my 30s and started HRT much earlier. I hope you can get some help. You’ll likely have a struggle with the GP, being so young, but if you can afford an initial consultation and blood test with a private gynae doctor your GP can then continue any prescription for you in most cases.

TabbyM · 26/01/2022 10:41

Mid 40s now, couple of years of heavy flooding periods, boiling hot at night and generally CBA. Have seen GP and trying various pill combinations to see if can stop exsanguinating every 28 days, have managed not to since November so hope they continue to work.

Adm1010 · 26/01/2022 11:01

Increased fatigue . Aching joints . Low mood sometimes uncontrollable rage . Anxiety . Hot flushes that are noticeable but not awful . Periods have been irregular for about 5 years and I’ve now gone three months with nothing . I’m 47

perimenofertility · 29/01/2022 13:08

Something else I've been reminded of this week: although my periods are still regular, I used to get PMS and cramping for a day leading up to the period, for the past year or so I've had this for a whole week before the period starts Confused

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 29/01/2022 15:51

The Daisy Network is great if you think you're experiencing peri symptoms at 38.

I had loads of symptoms that I had no idea were peri related. The symptom checklist I used was by The Menopause Support Network, I had nearly all of them 😞
I thought peri was just hot flushes. It's so much more and my first symptoms were migraines and panic attacks when I'd been fine my whole life.

Bosky · 30/01/2022 15:23

I had "peri-menopausal arthritis" for 18 months on top of the night sweats, hot flushes, etc. and had to walk with a stick as my hips and knees seized up. Wrists and ankles were excruciatingly painful. Thankfully it stopped as suddenly as it started.

The night sweats were awful. Mattress protector, obviously. Sometimes had to change the sheets twice a night as they were sopping wet. My partner said when he looked at my back the sweat seemed to be pumping out rhythmically in streams!

Gherkingreen · 30/01/2022 15:28

Periods of anxiety, fury, constipation, awful ovulation pain (so much that it sometimes hurts to walk), forgetting words mid sentence, interrupted sleep with waking at 2am, head buzzing.
I'm 47 and feel like I'm deep in the throes of peri menopause. Periods still regular and heavy but every 24 days rather than 28.

Esspee · 30/01/2022 15:28

I had a hysterectomy at 40. I was immediately put on oestrogen only HRT and the day after the op. I felt fabulous. It eventually clicked that I must have had extremely low oestrogen levels beforehand.
The average age of menopause may be 51 but there are many of us who suffer well before that.
HRT has changed my life.

Haribosweets · 30/01/2022 17:03

I'm 42 and have most of the above symptoms with tiredness, brain fog, periods last 3 days etc, either hot or freezing cold! I'm now wondering if I am too! 🤔

mightbealittlebitmad · 30/01/2022 17:38

I'm 35 and having my bloods taken because I'm having a lot of peri menopause symptoms.

I get hot flushes
Night sweats
Crap sleep
Exhaustion
No libido
Mood swings
Lack of interest in doing stuff

My periods have been pretty normal as far as I can tell.

My mum went through it at a similar age as did her mum so it's a definite possibility for me. I'm actually hoping it is because there might be a way to fix me then!

Cryalot2 · 30/01/2022 17:47

I was expecting an early menopause based on family history. But no despite an early puberty I was late 50s when I finally went through the menopause.

The emotional factor was the biggie with me. Previously I was strong and could handle anything and never cried. I became an emotional wreck who struggled to decide what to wear and was difficult to live with. I had awful moods . I got no help from drs and just muddled through. I knew women have went through it from time began and had to get on with it..

I did not murder oh and am still here on the other side feeling better than I have done in years.
If I had known sooner I would have got a personal trainer at the gym for some sessions .

Its a journey, there will be bad days and good. Just be kind to yourself and make notes. My memory has went awol. I escaped with few hot flushes and I didn’t realise, but accepted things. If today is not good well then tomorrow is a new day.

Dd had a group of friends who had mums in similar positions so they sounded off to one another. The common factor we had was mood swings and forgetfulness.

OrangeBananaFish · 30/01/2022 17:54

I've been having night sweats for years. I read a couple of years ago about anxiety being a symptom and mine had already gone through the roof. I went to the DR, but as I was on the pill she said that there were hormones in that so probably not menopause especially as I was still young. Still took my bloods to check for various things like thyroid issues. All came back normal. This was 2 or 3 years ago now.

I came off the pill in October and haven't had a period since. The anxiety has lessened, but still higher than during my 20's/30's. The night sweats are not as often, but I do get the rare hot flush during the day. Though these only lasts a minute or two. I have had 3 negative pregnancy tests since December so def not pregnant. I'm 43.

I also have trouble sleeping and often wake up before 5AM.

Esspee · 31/01/2022 12:17

Once you are convinced you are in perimenopause it is worthwhile reading up about the long term effects of menopause before you make a decision on how you intend to cope with it.

Everyone these days is aware of the hot flushes, brain fog, etc. that alerts you to falling oestrogen levels but very little is broadcast about the progressive problems caused by long term oestrogen deprivation.

You are often in your late sixties or seventies when you get a diagnosis of osteoporosis or osteoarthritis both most often the result of low oestrogen and both can have very serious long term results. Then there’s incontinence. It usually starts with stress incontinence, a little leak when you have a coughing fit for example. Panty liners are very popular with the over sixties but it can progress to full blown incontinence which ruins your life. Vaginal atrophy is another problem as is prolapse, loss of libido etc.

We as a race used to have a lifespan of less than 50 years. For women our oestrogen supplies run out, on average, around that age but nowadays we expect to live until our 80s. That means about one third of your life is post menopausal with all the potential associated medical conditions.

Medical science has come up with a solution, like the treatment for diabetes and thyroid problems the solution is to replace the missing hormone. We prescribe the hormones insulin and thyroxine for the above. For menopause we can replace the oestrogen. Being on HRT will be a life changer. It is contraindicated for a small minority but for the majority it is life changing. Many women are on it for life, once you stop taking it the deterioration starts.

So, as an oldie who has benefitted hugely from HRT, I suggest you research the subject now and whatever you choose to do I hope you have a smooth transition.

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