AIBU to think everyone else is wrong?

[georgiasp]

My friend has just split from her boyfriend of 10 months. She had had very little support from friends and family who keep telling her 'well, it's not like you'd been together long'.

It's not so much the time period. They were friends first so had known and liked each other for a while. He has three DC from a previous relationship that he has shared custody of and she has a relationship with the children as she split her time between his home and caring for an elderly parent.

They never argued but when she went to work on Saturday morning (from his house) he text her to say that he didn't want to be with her anymore and not to come back to the house that night. And then he blocked her on all social media and blocked her phone number. She is distraught and today he unblocked her on WhatsApp saying he had 'packed up all her sh*t' in a box and he would go out for an hour on Wednesday and she could collect it and leave her keys on the table.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that being broken up like this regardless of whether its a relatively short relationship is pretty devastating and deserves support?!

YANBU at all. Someone I was with for four months did the same to me - it wasn’t the length of time, it was that someone I’d trusted and opened up to and been intimate with could turn out to be so very different from what I’d expected and hoped for. You sound like a lovely friend and I’m sure your support is really helping

Wow. That’s terrible. I had a brutal breakup that was a complete about-turn but even that wasn’t as bad as your friends. That’s awful. Poor woman. Give her all the love you can. My friends and family got me through mine.

Perhaps everyone on her family is relieved? Its a short time to have been introduced to his kids.

Well you can't deny peoples feelings. She is bound to feel shocked but he seems awful so I would be helping her to see she is better off without someone so horrible. Unless there is a back story, she should try to move on as quickly as possible.

@DaphneduWarrior

YANBU at all. Someone I was with for four months did the same to me - it wasn’t the length of time, it was that someone I’d trusted and opened up to and been intimate with could turn out to be so very different from what I’d expected and hoped for. You sound like a lovely friend and I’m sure your support is really helping

Yes, I think time is all relative because for some it might be casual dates but for them it was pretty much living together, merging families, complete trust.

That is an absolutely brutal way to break up with someone.

@Hankunamatata

Perhaps everyone on her family is relieved? Its a short time to have been introduced to his kids.

They were friends first so she knew them in that capacity.

Yes she's bound to be upset if she liked him no matter how long it's been but there's nothing the family can do about it really if he doesn't want to be with her. If they aren't the type to talk about things then that's not going to change and no one can make them feel more sympathetic. Maybe you could be her support and be there for her if she wants to talk?

Well he's a total shit isn't he. But yes, I think those telling her it doesn't matter etc are quite heartless. I met DH on POF. We had our first date in September, moved in together February and got engaged in April. At 10 months we shared a home and had started planning our wedding. It can be an incredibly long time

You are not being unreasonable. I was in a relationship for seven months and he broke up with me by text blaming me with long list of reasons (he had met someone else it turned out). I was completely devestated for longer than the relationship. I grieved.