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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put this decision to you

20 replies

guuuuh · 25/01/2022 15:42

Hey guys,

I could do with some advice. I work in a professional role in quite a stressful job and I'm not sure why but I generally feel like I just need a day or 2 to myself. I suffer from depression anyway and whilst I don't feel depressed I just really feel that I would benefit from having some time out of work to recharge my batteries.

I am therefore considering phoning in sick tomorrow even though I won't actually be poorly and I technically could go to work. Is this utterly selfish and should I feel as guilty as I do about even thinking about that?

Help me make this decision!

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 25/01/2022 15:44

How’s your sickness record? Will you be dropping anyone else in it by doing that?

forlornlorna · 25/01/2022 15:44

If you were physically sick you'd take time off, the same should apply if you're feeling mentally unwell. You're protecting your mental health. Have a day off, recharge. Better to do that than burn out x

ShirleyPhallus · 25/01/2022 15:45

I think everyone feels like this sometimes and “me time” is very important. However, can you use annual leave for this instead?

It would be different if you were totally burnt out / couldn’t get out of bed / distressed etc in which case I’d say mental health is just as important so pull the sicky, but if it’s you needing a few days to yourself then I’d use annual leave for them.

The advantage is that you can relax and properly plan what you’ll do instead of feeling guilty and anxious about it

Eatsleepgamerepeat · 25/01/2022 15:46

I've been in your shoes OP.

I have done it and would recommend the same to you. Take the day off. But, what I will say is look for another job as well.

DrSbaitso · 25/01/2022 15:48

Why not use annual leave?

DowntonCrabby · 25/01/2022 15:49

I’d say taking the days now to recharge rather than waiting to burn out completely or breakdown would be sensible.
It does depend on how much you’d be putting on the team though and if you’ll have to complete your own work load eventually will the days off this week cause a snowball of work next week potentially causing more stress?

SparklyLeprechaun · 25/01/2022 15:49

This is what annual leave is for. You're not sick.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/01/2022 15:51

I think everyone feels like this sometimes and “me time” is very important. However, can you use annual leave for this instead?

This. You're not unwell. If it was your depression, absolutely fair enough, it's right. But just feeling like you'd like it? Not really, that's what annual leave is for.

As an aside, why not ask your employer about 'wellness days'? Lots of employers have them for these purposes.

VioletLemon · 25/01/2022 15:52

You are recognising you need this time for MH reasons. It's the right thing to do. You can self cert for 7 days and longer in some parts of UK. I'd take at least 7 days and do what you need to do to feel better, put it down to stress or Covid...

Original poster

guuuuh · 25/01/2022 15:57

I'm a teacher in London so I can't use annual leave and I know I've just had the weekend so it feels even more ridiculous! But a busy weekend is not the same as having a day to hide from the world and be in bed and not feel guilty about wasting my time. But no, I don't have annual leave

OP posts:

Itslit · 25/01/2022 16:01

Take a day off. If you become depressed you'll be off for longer.

Knackeredmommy · 25/01/2022 16:02

Take it as sick leave. Everybody talks about well-being and mental health but what is actually in place to support this?
Teaching is extremely stressful and you have to be 'on' all day. If you know you need a day to recuperate, do it.

namechange30455 · 25/01/2022 16:04

@guuuuh

Why was your weekend busy? I'd struggle to have much sympathy for someone who needed a duvet day after rushing about all weekend, if that rushing about was avoidable (obviously if you have DCs it's unavoidable to some extent!)

KindleBeKind · 25/01/2022 16:07

Would you receive full pay?
If you do consider this - would you take the days off it it was unpaid? You have your answer. If you would be happy to be unpaid take it off.

VioletLemon · 25/01/2022 16:11

In that case definately take the week. It will likely be easier to get a week's supply than 1 or 2 days. You need to listen to your body, MH self care impinges on every other aspect of your life and avoiding dealing with it will have you potentially feeling lousy by April.

TheChosenTwo · 25/01/2022 16:17

I was wondering if you worked in a school we aren’t entitled to annual leave and it would be the quick solution if you did!
Only you know how much you’ll be dropping someone in it if you did, the guilt is what stops me when I think about needing a day off, knowing that there is literally no one to cover me and that my 1:1 won’t get any support while Im not there.
Plus how much will you need to prep for someone to cover your class? Is it worth it?
Will your school get supply in or will it be left to other support staff to cover in dribs and drabs (most usual in my school).
Ultimately, you do need to look after yourself and if you know that you won’t spend the whole of tomorrow tying yourself in knots with guilt then I think you should have it to yourself

sillysmiles · 25/01/2022 16:32

I'd take it.
One sick day now to recharge might prevent a slip in your depression and even more days off to come. Think of it as a stitch in time day!

BarbaraofSeville · 25/01/2022 16:54

Can you manage until the weekend and then try to have quieter weekends even if it means letting housework, healthy eating and activities slide?

If you have DC do you have a partner who can take them out for the day, so you can rest?

But it's concerning that you feel this way straight after the weekend and so close after Christmas when you've had 2 weeks off. Might be an indication that you need to make bigger changes, either by looking for another job, the way you do your existing job, or by making changes at home to make work easier to cope with.

sanbeiji · 25/01/2022 17:02

I’ve done this. Work had been stressful, so I spent my whole weekend running around doing things I couldn’t do at the weekday (thanks to work) in addition to pre planned social events.

Felt no guilt, I’m rarely off sick and had given them enough unpaid overtime.

Do it if you need to but don’t make it a habit

AutumnLeaves21 · 25/01/2022 17:49

No, sorry but YABO. Assuming someone will have to cover your lessons leaving them less time for admin/planning/marking themselves, passing the stress onto a colleague.
I am a HCP working for the nhs and it’s been horrendous. I would love a sick/duvet day…but I’d be dropping my team in it leaving them to cover my workload. I couldn’t in good conscience do it to them. We’re all in the same boat.

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