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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU expecting help planning with friends?

4 replies

nadianel2 · 25/01/2022 10:33

A friend of mine asked me if I would go on a weekend break with her to see a theatre show she fancies. I agreed and she said 'great- just let me know what I owe you!'.

I tend to be the more organised one so I booked tickets, checked she was ok with prices and then ran accommodation and flight times by her. She said it was all fine.

We have some free time around the show so I asked what she fancies doing and she said 'oh I'm easy, you decide!'. I've planned a nice day out that I know she'll be happy with (FWIW she never complains about my choices).

I asked her to arrange dinner for one of the nights we're away and when I asked about it this week (a few days before) she said it had slipped her mind and 'don't worry, we'll find something!'. We're pressed for time to eat that night and it's a Saturday night in a busy city.

I forwarded all of the booking emails on to her and she has asked me twice what time our flights are and when do I think she should get to the airport?

I realise I'm coming across as a control freak but I have 3 kids and a DH who also leave everything up to me and is it too much to ask that on just one occasion not everything in the world is my responsibility?

OP posts:
TooWicked · 25/01/2022 10:36

She asked you to go on a break with her.

The point at which you should have spoken up was when she said “great- just let me know what I owe you”.

You need some kind of assertiveness training.

In the meantime, ignore any questions she asks you to which she already has the information/answer.

nadianel2 · 25/01/2022 10:40

@TooWicked

She asked you to go on a break with her.

The point at which you should have spoken up was when she said “great- just let me know what I owe you”.

You need some kind of assertiveness training.

In the meantime, ignore any questions she asks you to which she already has the information/answer.

I suspect the reason she asked me and then expected me to book it is that I go to a lot more events than her/know where is best to purchase tickets/seating plans etc. Not that it would take a lot for someone to work this out by themselves.

I did want to go and if I was waiting for her to organise I'd still be waiting- like it appears I'm doing with dinner on Saturday!

OP posts:
3scape · 25/01/2022 10:45

She's using you to parent her.

Loveisthere · 25/01/2022 12:22

Are you me op. Every body expects me to book everything arrange transport, etc. But I have found that if someone else offers to arrange it never gets done. Enjoy your trip x

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