To think ghosting does mean you're a shitty person

[caniwearthis]

Just that really. I'm not talking about ghosting a friend, or even a date you don't like (I don't agree with that either but for another thread)

I offered a job to someone over a week ago, which they accepted, they are now not returning calls or emails. If you've found a new position just say - why do people find it so hard to be honest? I honestly don't care and would rather your honesty than ghosting.

Same with clients in my work - ignoring emails if they don't want to do business (had a few of these in the last week).

If you're someone who ghosts people because you're a coward just know it's a shitty thing to do and you should probably stop, grow a pair and be honest when you don't want to do something, the person on the receiving end would really appreciate it!

it is shitty for you. but they could be crippling embarrassed at changing their mind or letting you down etc. I've done it and am the opposite of a shitty person, I'm painfully aware how much I could be letting people down.
if it happens to you frequently that's a bit odd though.. are you unapproachable??

@Tellthemagain it doesn't happen lots, I get more people not do it then do it. I'm not the only hirer either.

Honestly, people would much prefer you to be honest. Ghosting is truly the worst and just baffling to me that grown adults cannot say when they don't want to do something. I find it really odd.

I wonder if they’d applied for several positions and then got an interview for their first choice after accepting your role? Probably trying to buy time to see if it works out.

@WomanStanleyWoman yes I agree but it's been 2 weeks tomorrow so to be honest if she comes back I will be revoking the offer.

They haven't even completed the application or given the information requested, I don't want to work with someone like that.

I think a lot of people arent properly prepared for how to conduct themselves in adulthood. I think they just cant formulate a sentence because they dont know how to communicate. So they say nothing so as not to say the wrong thing.

I think this partly comes down to so many feelings and identities being tied up in work. You see the relationships as something more personal than an exchange of labour for money, but bottom line thats all work is.

I think a lot of people arent properly prepared for how to conduct themselves in adulthood

This. Exactly this.

I also agree I need to jot take it personal and I don't but it just frustrates me that people can be so pathetic and rude.

Or maybe I just have outlandish expectations I can't tell.

I think a lot of people arent properly prepared for how to conduct themselves in adulthood.

This is a gross underestimation of young people. Of the thousands I've taught over the years, only a small minority don't know how to conduct themselves to the point that they couldn't just say thanks but no thanks.