Nicknames as names

[ChasingAdhdBrain]

My mom comes from a culture where we sometimes have more than 1-2 first/middles names, and sometimes take mother's maiden name as an additional surname. Not everyone but it wouldn't be considered weird to do so. And then we have nicknames. We loooove a nickname, sometimes the sillier the better. For example I have an Aunt called Baby, my nickname is the word for a small piece of corn (I was v petite growing up), you get the idea 😆

Lately though a number of my friends and family based in Ireland and UK have named their kids what I thought were nicknames.

Trying not to be outing, but let's say things like Jimmy instead of James, Bobby instead of Robert. Aibu to think people should have the option to have a more 'formal' version of their name?

I feel like a huge hypocrite because my mom's family are all about our crazy nicknames. But we also have 'normal' names for formal occasions.

And I realise I'm about to anger all the parents on this site who have named their child a cute nickname 😆

But aibu??

I like the nickname version of my son's name and not the full one...didn't seem much point naming him something we didn't like

I agree with you OP. This trend for giving children nicknames as their real names is relatively recent (last 15-20 years or so IME) and I just think, people are thinking about the cute baby in front of them but they aren't thinking about the adult the child will become.

Billy and Becky and Alfie are fine for children, and fine as nicknames among friends, but if they grow up and get professional jobs as adults, wouldn't it be better for them to have the option of being able to put William or Alfred or Rebecca on their professional email address?

I prefer a ‘Sunday name’ but I guess some people would rather just give the name they intend to call them day in and day out rather than a formal name.

YABU. I see zero point in calling your son Albert if you want everyone to call him Bertie (for example). What’s the benefit? The idea that they might need it for job applications is ridiculous. No one is going to reject a good applicant because her CV says Becky instead of Rebecca.

I feel like this. I love a long, grand ‘original’ name. However, Billy, Betsy and Bobby are shortenings rather than nick names.

Names fascinate me. I've been doing some family history from great grandparents era and find that folk my late parents referred to as Aunts Fannie, Peggy and Cissie are actually Frances, Margaret and Sophia!

It doesn't bother me what other people name their children. I'm of the view that if they really hate it, they can change it or even just go by another name if they like - and it doesn't;t concern me anyway!

That being said, I really like the longer version of my name; it has a lot of options for different nicknames and it has given me plenty of opportunity to reinvent myself during teen phases which I liked. As an adult, I go by my longer/proper name although family and DH call me by a nickname. Think Alexandra always called Lexi by family/as a child, decides to go by Alex, then Al/Allie as a teenager, then deciding to just be Alexandra as an adult. Would I hate it if my name was just 'Alex' in the first place? Probably not, but I like my longer name too.

@appleturnovers

I agree with you OP. This trend for giving children nicknames as their real names is relatively recent (last 15-20 years or so IME) and I just think, people are thinking about the cute baby in front of them but they aren't thinking about the adult the child will become.

Billy and Becky and Alfie are fine for children, and fine as nicknames among friends, but if they grow up and get professional jobs as adults, wouldn't it be better for them to have the option of being able to put William or Alfred or Rebecca on their professional email address?

Are we really judging people's professional ability by their name?

I agree with you OP. This trend for giving children nicknames as their real names is relatively recent (last 15-20 years or so IME

I’m not sure that’s right - I know Jacks, Toms, Harrys and Bens all in their 40s.

YANBU - I think one should always legally give kids the full name if you want them known by a shortened version. DS has an unusual central european name after one of his great grandfathers, but is known by a nickname, but we wouldn't have put the nickname on the birth certificate as he may want to use the full one when he's older.

@WomanStanleyWoman

YABU. I see zero point in calling your son Albert if you want everyone to call him Bertie (for example). What’s the benefit? The idea that they might need it for job applications is ridiculous. No one is going to reject a good applicant because her CV says Becky instead of Rebecca.

It's not just for job applications though. It's for any formal situation or even everyday use when the child grows up and realises Bertie sounds childish and they want to be taken more seriously in their adult life.

@Howeverdoyouneedme

I feel like this. I love a long, grand ‘original’ name. However, Billy, Betsy and Bobby are shortenings rather than nick names.

But if you love the original name, wouldn’t you want to use it? I completely get that you might love the name Alexandrina, for example, but if you’re actually planning on calling your child Ali most of the time, why would you feel the need to give her a ‘formal’ name you’ll never use?

I'm with the pp who said they've never heard shortened names being called nicknames! I have always known a nickname as something silly that perhaps stuck due to an aspect of your personality or something about your appearance, or something you always do. Names like Lizzie, Beth and Tom are surely just shortened versions of a longer name. That's not to say that these can't also be your actual name though.

Agree, OP is talking about diminutives, not nicknames. And if you look back at old birth records it’s not g to rue at all that people always had a ‘long’ name, diminutives have always been used. Maybe not so much by the upper classes which might be why people are snobby about it?
I’m not sure why people need a ‘choice of name’. If you don’t like your name there’s nothing to stop you from going by your middle name or other name of your choosing. That used to be more common, especially when people stuck to passing names through the generations.

@WestendVBroadway

When I was growing up, my mums baby name book said that Emma came from the name Ermintrude!!

My three boys and the dog all have names that some would consider nick names. I preferred then to the alternate. Bertie, for instance, could have been Robert or Albert, neither of which I like. I quite like Schubert but wasn’t sure that he would. They all suit their names and and wouldn’t wish to be called anything else. I didn’t see the point of giving them names that weren’t going to be used.

I don't understand giving a full name, but at the same time deciding what the nickname will be.
It's quite a new phenomenon to an oldie like me.

I like nicknames but on birth certificates I think there should be full names, eg Catherine or Kathleen, not 'Kate', James and not 'Jimmy' or 'Jamie'.

My son has a nice, solid, ordinary first name which is shortened by all friends, which he likes, but he does like his full name too and uses it often.

My first name is one syllable and I always wished I had a name that could be shortened. There's something friendly about that.

I really don’t think it matters if your name is Kate or Caitlin or Catherine. As long as it’s a nice-ish name that both parents like and isn’t ridiculous (Princess/Babie/Hulahoop etc) then I don’t see it affecting you hugely that it just says Tom on your birth certificate.

Why can people not expand a given nickname if they want? So for example someone officially called reggie could expand it to Reginald in the same way someone called Reginald can shorten to reggie if they choose without having the shortened version on their birth certificate.

Seems daft only formal names can be shortened but shortened names can’t be lengthened

If you don't give them a formal name what do you can them when they are in trouble?

My daughter's name could be considered a "nickname" for some popular names (though it's not a common nickname), but those aren't the names I wanted for her ... the short name was the name we wanted. I questioned whether I should have given her a formal name, but I didn't want random family/friends/teachers to call her by the formal name as it wasn't the name we wanted for her.

She still has the choice to change her name as an adult if she wants to, she's not stuck with it for life. My grandmother changed her name at 18 (think, from Betsy to Elizabeth) because she didn't like the nickname. No big deal.

@Davros, Liam isn't an Irish nickname.

It's the Modern Irish form of William.

Some Irish people are known by the Irish version of their BC name. This can happen if they're the latest in a long line of a particular name, perhaps names after a father or an uncle, etc and distinguishing them all would otherwise be difficult.

There is also the old Irish tradition of using a name in English on the birth cert and for baptism but an Irish version in everyday life except for school records, where the BC name would be used. This tradition stemmed from pre- independence times. Some families kept it up.

@WestendVBroadway - Liam isn't a nickname or a shortened version of William. It's an Irish name, in this case Irish for William. It's a full name in itself, just as other Irish versions of English/French/Greek names are full names. For example Eoin, Mairead, Eamon, Aoife...