Tea for workmen

[Givemecoffeeplease]

We've had a team of workmen round to trim hedges in our garden. It's a cold, grey day. I'm on work calls so I ask my husband to make them a cup of tea (this is Britain.. tea flows in our veins.). When I go downstairs, he hasn't made them tea saying 'I'm not a maid to make tea for every Tom, Dick and Harry who comes to our house.'

Husband is Australian, so perhaps doesn't understand the culture of making tea, at any time, for any reason, but ALWAYS for guests and workmen/women especially on a cold January day. I make them tea, take it outside, start inevitable small talk about the weather. They drink the tea, do an awesome job, and leave.

Is he BU for not making tea? Or am I a British cliché....?

I always make hot drinks & give biscuits.
If they arrive in the morning & will be working a while they get the offer of a bacon butty too.

@JumperJump

YABU, if they want tea why don’t they bring a thermos? Your husband is correct.

Well, aside from freshly brewed tea in a mug is much nicer than in the metal or plastic cup from the top of a flask, and much nicer for being brewed fresh than having sat around, there is also the point that gardeners may well be on their 4th job by the time they get to you..... or are you expecting them to bring that many flasks each day??

we find it a very strange expectation that you give workers food/drinks just because they are doing something at your home, you wouldn’t expect your boss in the office or supermarket to offer tea endlessly, why so would gardeners expect it?

I would actually. When I am in the office, everyone who either walks in or gets up from their desk to make a brew, offers anyone within earshot to see if they want one, and yes, that includes anyone of any grade.
Pre-Covid, my job entailed me going to different places, maybe 3 in a day, and yes, I would expect to be offered a cuppa at each place, and almost always was. I

t may well be cultural, but if you live in a new country, the polite thing to do is to observe the culture and customs of where you live and do as your hosts do where you can, particularly in terms of how you interact with people you work with and people you employ.

Husband works in peoples houses for his work. Said he goes above and beyond for those who offer drinks and/or the use of their toilets if it's a long job. On hot days especially as it's hard to keep drinks cool outside all day. Would not expect anything if only there a couple of hours. Has had lovely older people make him and crew cooked lunches etc and said it's actually hard to get back to work after a big meal in middle of day but they are always grateful.

Said he goes above and beyond for those who offer drinks and/or the use of their toilets

Exactly. It isn't rocket science to work that out.

I'm English, in NZ. Pre-Covid I would always offer tradies something to drink and they'd invariably decline. They tend to want to just get on with the job.

Giving a tradie a cup of tea as some sort of sweetener, ie, for a better job would I suspect be thought of as manipulative and a bit like tipping, which also doesn't happen here. They're getting paid after all.

Not Australia, but the cultures are quite similar.

So I can see where your DH is coming from actually. Perhaps the UK 'cup of tea' expectation from tradies annoys him.

Extremely rude not to offer. On a par with being rude to a waiter.
I would think less of him.

Yeah he's unreasonable, yanbu.
I always offer tea, coffee etc, when I had a new boiler fitted I made them bacon sarnies and I was on a diet, it was torture 😂

I made a drink for the man who came today to measure up for a few windows and doors. I don't even know I'm doing it - someone comes in the house, I start filling the kettle. I go full Mrs Doyle for people working outside in winter - they will have a cup of tea.

Does your husband feel awkward talking to workmen? Mine does a bit, he's not good at small talk or finding common ground.

I always make tea - more than once a day sometimes! It's freezing outside, raining and if it was my husband I would hope he would get a cuppa before moving on to the next job. My instinct is to be kind and never bounce my instincts off anyone. YANBU !

I wouldn't offer tea/coffee due to Covid- I wouldn't want to touch strangers' cups at the moment!

Its not about being British, its about being hospitable, kind and polite.

Your husband sounds like a horrible snob.

my partner says I'm quite like northerners.

I think it isn't a bad philosophy to go through life thinking "how would I like to be treated myself?" and then treat others like that.
I like people being kind to me, and therefore I do the little things in life when I can to be kind to others.

My husband says it's not about the tea - it's a man thing. Feeling awkward about making tea for a bloke/small talk. He us not being mean.

DH makes tea for workmen as much as I do.

@Flowersandhearts

I wouldn't offer tea/coffee due to Covid- I wouldn't want to touch strangers' cups at the moment!

Sounds a bit odd given that they'd be working in the house all day, and covid is spread mainly by air not surfaces.

@Kite22 I totally agree x
No one should have to second guess their kindness. Be the person you want to be.

You're right. It's rude not to offer workmen tea (unless they're in and out in 5 minutes), especially on a cold day. If they're working outside in the cold, I might have offered toast too.

Round here since Covid struck I've noticed a reluctance to accept a drink from people I've engaged to fix stuff around my flat. But if I didn't offer, well, that's bad manners.

This just popped into my head, even Boris knows you bring tea to people working outdoors on a cold day

I have decorators in this week doing the kitchen and bathroom. I put mugs and tea sugar coffee out and have left them to it. Also biscuits. I dont want to get in their way but had they not been doing the kitchen itself I would have made tea for them.

It's sensible to offer anyone working outside a warm drink. It's 4 degrees out there. They will work better with non-frozen fingers. You dh is being short sighted.

I don't drink tea but there is usually a box of teabags in the cupboard so I always offer. Shame I didn't know they were earl grey, the builders complained about 'something odd'. I'll check next time.

I curious for those who have cleaners, do you make them tea?

I’m in aust. I’ve made coffee for the workmen and now we have moved out while they paint but it’s summer and hot so we have stocked the fridge with water bottles, coke, lemon squash and iced coffee so they can have a cold drink. Are you sure it’s not because he’s a man? ‘I’m not the maid’ is a pretty unattractive response from a man asked to -shock, horror, make a few cups of tea.

I would offer them something, usually ask if they want something to drink, and to eat, if it's a long day.