Hostile co workers, eating lunch in car?

[Saffy1987]

Hello everyone,

I am just looking for some advice really and AIBU for feeling really annoyed with my co workers?

We are a really small team and i have had a lot of problems with certain co workers who have picked on me since day one, i am also not doing the job i was hired for so it is a given taking this job was a mistake.

I have also complained about 1 co worker who got very aggressive with me, nothing was done. I cant say much as i am scared of being outted. But i am quite intimidated by them. I am in the process of looking for a new job as other past co workers have left because of them, and they have been accused of sexism in the past.

There is only 2 other women that work in my place and one has always been ok with me, and now all of a sudden she has started to leave passive aggressive notes on my desk over petty things and she recently made a comment about me eating lunch in my car (Which i have done for a year?....) and she made a comment saying eat in the kitchen, then you will be part of the group. First of all i smoke, second off all, they dont seem to like me, so why are you bothered where i eat lunch?

I wouldnt be assed but i think it is literally something just to pick on me for, i am at the end of my tether and i do feel like there is a bit of workplace mobbing going on, has anyone else experienced this?

Thank you
Saffy

I must also make clear the whole lunch thing was not a friendly interaction, it was in front of one of the bullies and she had her back turned to me looking at her PC, i have never had this in a workplace before, has anyone experienced this?

Hmm. I can see why it would seem odd to see you eating in your car every day. When you only have two co-workers, seeming to deliberately go to the lengths of eating in your car rather than with them, does seem rather pointed and would be easy to interpret negatively.

We probably need to know more about the other incidents to know whether they are being unreasonable and bullying.

Well the common denominator is you, you dont seem to get on with any of your co workers. You state your being picked on, you have complained about another. Now it could be there a small close nit team and they dont think you fit. Or you havent made any efforts with them and to eat your lunch in the car is really odd.

Your lunch hour is your own, you don’t need to justify spending it in your car to anyone. I work with a couple of people who eat their lunch in their car almost every day, as they like to get away from the office and eat in peace or listen the radio.

Your colleagues sound unpleasant and I think the fact that other people have left because of the bullying/intimidating atmosphere speaks volumes. You’re doing the right thing in looking for another job. Good luck to you.

Hi @saraclara Thank you for your message, i work in an office environment and someone has got to be at reception at all times, so they usually go on lunch at the same time and i will go on my break when they come back. I also smoke so i do prefer to sit in my car, i think its just strange the way it hasn't been a problem for a year now it is? I cant say much but everyone says about my particular branch that sexism is rife and i have noticed this, i also asked for help putting a heavy box on a shelf and was told "Equal rights" Its safe to say i was not expecting this but we all live and learn

Hi @Cigfree Thank you for your message, i was confused as to why it was a big deal, as i don't care where co workers eat, that is why i was a bit taken back. Thank you

I eat in my car sometimes. I need a people break!

My dh always ate lunch in his car because he liked to listen to music or sometimes give me a ring. Noone ever bothered him about it, I think your co-worker is being funny with you.

Ask management for a branch transfer. Clearly you are not going to fit in here!

Also i didnt make myself clear, my work is male dominated and only 2 co workers apart from myself are women, incase people are confused as i said "There is only 2 other women that work in my place"

Two of my colleagues go and eat in their cars at lunchtime because:
They smoke
They want some peace n quiet
They want to
They can
It's nobody's business

If you're trying to leave just continue as you are & ignore them.

Good luck

Eat where you are comfortable. Mobbing is horrible, leave that job as soon as you can. They are nasty people.

Tell them what you said here about why you eat in the car.

Hi @Staffy1 I did i explained that i smoke, and she said there is a back door, i didn't know how to answer to that, they haven't seemed bothered before but its all of a sudden comments are being made. I also like my own space but i didnt say that, as they probably would take it the wrong way

i also asked for help putting a heavy box on a shelf and was told "Equal rights"

What a bunch of charming people. Is it possible to look around for other jobs? It sounds horrible there. Until then, try and stick up for yourself and appear confident and not bothered if you can.

“Yes, there’s a back door and there’s also my car which I prefer”. Also, why are they bothered where you eat as you don’t get to take lunch at the same time as them by the sound of it.

Thank you everyone for the replies, and i know @Staffy1 i have told my boyfriend about it and he said if anyone asked him for help Man or woman he would just help them....? And yes i am in the process of looking for another job, hopefully get out of that hell hole thank you

Yanbu, its nobody else's business what you do at lunchtime.

Say. 'I like to eat quietly and smoke sitting in my car, is this a problem for you? Don't be apologetic, be polefaced.

They sound like a nasty bunch

I used to eat in my car as I hated my job. I didn’t want any ‘work chat’ on my 30 minutes of unpaid me time. I used to smoke out the window and listen to full volume thrash metal.
Best part of the day.

@Crayfishforyou I think thrash metal sounds like a good call, get some frustration out haha

I used to eat lunch in my car to get some relief from the oppressive atmosphere. You do what you want - it's your time.

I had a boss once who tried to tell staff what they could do and where they could go on their 1 hour lunch break because a few of them would go out to run errands or just enjoy good weather. His opinion was they should be in the tiny, oppressive ‘break room’ (which was barely more than a broom cupboard) in case he wanted them to do something for him while they were ‘sitting around with nothing better to do’ - he resented staff getting breaks at all, even unpaid ones!! He didn’t realise the main reason everyone found things to do was this attitude!!

Eventually someone told him they would do as he wanted when he started paying for the hour - he soon stopped insisting people stay in the office!!