About ‘the OP has had second thoughts’ message

[Nuca]

Not a TAAT, just a general question. But I’ve seen a lot with this deletion message recently. Does it actually mean the OP didn’t like the answers they were getting so they report their own thread? Or they have concerns about being identified? I’ve noticed it’s often the goady threads

It's them pretending to be worried about it being identifiable because they realise they're being unreasonable.

I think the thread doesn’t go the way they wanted so they pretend they have privacy concerns. Really annoying as people can put a lot of thought into answering, I don’t know why mumsnet facilitates this.

I think sometimes threads do turn into very unpleasant pile ons to be honest. I don’t know if that’s what happened here of course.

However I do think there is a huge difference between honest, but broadly supportive replies, and character assassinations.

In.my case the person who the thread was about ( boss) told my colleague that she was looking on MN to see if I had posted, colleague tipped me off so I asked for a deletion.

I think there can genuinely be times when a poster starts a thread whilst drunk/reckless/not thinking and then comes to their senses. Also, the first responses to a thread can also make someone re-think the wisdom of having posted what they did and it is perhaps better to nip it in the bud rather than have hundreds of posts responding to an ill thought out first post and ignoring the fact that the OP has posted to apologise or agree that they were wrong.

And I wasnt posting on AIBU , to be clear.

Yep the one very recently (this morning) was clearly because people were pointing out her response wasnt normal. Didn't like it so poof goes the thread.

Sometimes the OP ties themselves in knots trying to justify their reasons then can't keep up with the lies they've put in to make what they are doing "acceptable"

People sometimes put a huge amount of identifiable detail too. Although others are so vague it's really hard to even work out what the issue is!

I think it could be a mixture

Mostly will be OPs not liking being told they're unreasonable

However sometimes pile ons will worsen someone's existing emotional state so in those instances I can understand the post removal. I saw one a few weeks ago where the comments honestly made me quite upset, let alone the poor OP. She was posting about having miscarriages (many late term) and her friend being pregnant and wondering whether the friend was being precious for essentially hibernating during her first 16 weeks, and honestly the comments were so nasty, things like 'you've never been pregnant so what do you know' (not only inaccurate but also very hurtful to someone who has had many miscarriages) etc. over 120 comments most of which were vile.

I can understand why that OP asked for the post to be removed.

Probably a bit of “don’t like the answers, it’s making me feel bad “ and not wanting to be in the daily fail or identified in real life.

Also some of the pile on threads are ridiculous. Lots of people respond because they like giving out a bollocking rather than because they want to help.

@Sundancerintherain

In.my case the person who the thread was about ( boss) told my colleague that she was looking on MN to see if I had posted, colleague tipped me off so I asked for a deletion.

But that is genuine privacy concerns, not the same as the OP changing their mind when it doesn't go their way!

@Sundancerintherain

And I wasnt posting on AIBU , to be clear.

YABU

@ConstanceL that’s what I thought it was for most of them! Although reading some other comments on here I can see why they’re removed when people pile on

@aristotlesdeathray oh wow, I remember reading the opening post of that thread but I didn’t realise it got that bad! Can definitely see why that was removed

Why not get your thread deleted if it's gone to shit. Makes sense to me.

[quote Nuca]@aristotlesdeathray oh wow, I remember reading the opening post of that thread but I didn’t realise it got that bad! Can definitely see why that was removed[/quote]
As someone who suffered losses myself it hurt to see those comments, was about to comment then realised the tone of the comments and didn't want to risk them going for me - as sad as that sounds.

Some people were even accusing the OP of wishing a miscarriage on her friend (or relative can't remember exactly)

Was a truly nasty nasty display of hate from some posters on here.

@daimbarsatemydogsbone I probably am. Which is why I posted my thread in chat .