Dp bday

[Reallyisthis]

My dp children don’t like me 21 and 26 so for past 9 years I haven’t been invited to his bday meal . Coming up next week and he says going our next week Aibu to assume one day I could go ?

@Reallyisthis

I have asked to go and told I am ruining it , but he comes to mine , just had enough now, who lives like this

Does that mean that in nine years you never (or only very, very rarely) go to his?

I think you have every right to be pissed off, but it should be with your 'D'P, not his adult DCs. He needs to decide his relationship priorities, because it sounds like you come a poor second to the DCs. I'm not one for LTB, but if he won't acknowledge you as an important part of his life it's time to leave and find someone who will.

I can imagine how hard it is, but you need to make peace with it. If this is how it's been for 9 years, I can't see it changing or getting better.

This is really shit OP. I would bin him off.

After nine years of being treating like this, I would be ending the relationship. Your DP obviously doesn't stand up for you or fight your corner.

That is horrible op.
They need to grow up a bit and accept you especially after 9 years.
They don't have to be your best friend but should at least be civilised.
Do you have dc of your own?

Yes my children are 22 and 18 and when we do my birthday he is included, just feel I am a second class citizen .

You are not a second class citizen OP, your worth does not depend on the opinions of your partners children who barely know you.

They just want to be able to have their Dad to themselves when they see him, and there’s nothing really wrong with that. To them, it’s about their time with their Dad, it’s not about you and it’s not personal.

Arrange your own meal for him. Either you and him or you and him plus your adult kids.