AIBU to mention the constant use of ‘You Know’

[Pinksparke]

My parent has started using the phrase ‘ you know ‘ in almost every sentence . My sibling pointed this out to me and since then I notice it . During a conversation yesterday my parent said ‘you know ‘ over 70 times .

Would you want someone to point this out or world you be offended ?
I have a feeling that this person will be offended but I love them and want to help them .

Side note : my parent often repeats stories and talks a lot .

Why would anyone want that pointed out to them?

Just ignore it

Would that not just make them self conscious? What purpose would it achieve?

I hear you. With adult DS AND his partner it's "like" all the time. You can try but it's unlikely to make any difference. Let it wash over you.

My DH drops 'you know' constantly into his conversation. I feel it's a verbal tic, almost like a stammer, so try not to draw attention to it but it's torture to listen to at times.

Can you not answer ‘yes I do know’ every time they say it?

I wouldn't mention it! I don't see any reason to make someone uncomfortable / self conscious. If you can understand what they're saying, you should let it fly imo.

Are you thinking it's a memory loss thing. So they can't think of the thing so they say "you know". Either way I wouldn't mention it yet but keep an eye on it.

@MacNTosh

Can you not answer ‘yes I do know’ every time they say it?

That would be kind and helpful.

Unless you think it's a sign of something they should have checked out (a symptom of a serious neurological problem), I'd keep it to myself. I'd be embarrassed and hurt to have something like that pointed out to me.

Speaking from experience, it was bad enough when my parents spoke to me about something similar, when I was a child. I understand why they did it, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. If someone did that to me now, when I'm an adult, I'd probably resent it and avoid them, tbh!

I love this person dearly and I want to help them .
So I want to point it out purely so they can stop doing it as it makes them sound silly . It is honestly used in every single sentence .

I would honestly want someone to point this out to me . I’d be embarrassed and probably slightly hurt at first but would know it was done because someone cares for me .
I am sure I used to always end my sentences as if I was asking a question . It was pointed out and I stopped.

I am wondering if this is a sign of early onset dementia . This has been a conversation my sister and I have had about over family member .

Mention it if you want them to painfully self conscious every time they talk you. At least you won't have to hear them say 'you know' though.

My mum does it and she hears herself do it and rolls her eyes, it's funny. Sometimes habits go unnoticed until someone points them out and then you consciously stop doing it until the habit is broken

My DM does it as well, it's very infuriating, I try to ignore it.

During a conversation yesterday my parent said ‘you know ‘ over 70 times

I would have serious issues that there is an early dementia of some sort going on here!!! Is this a sudden change or going on for sometime? If sudden, might be a urinary infection. If long term speak to their GP and get them seen by a neurologist. Best of luck OP but its not normal at all!!!

My husband says it a lot. I did mention it to him once, before he went for a job interview, because I was worried other people would notice it. It makes him sound as if he struggles to properly articulate his ideas and opinions.

He didn't think he did say it, and still says it as much as ever now. It's the middle aged person's 'like', like you know, it's, like they don't know they're, like, saying it, you know?

It's very annoying and yes I probably would gently point it out in a laughy way.

You seriously counted 70 times though?

I do this. It's been pointed put to me. I am conscious of it and while I have reduced it, I'm still finding it hard to eliminate. No idea how it started or how to stop it. I don't hear myself say it.

I'm in my 30s so doubt it's dementia related.

Well its no different to people saying "like" every other word. That makes me want to scream but I dont think they have dementia !

Record the conversation on your phone and save it to MP3. Then chuck it into a wave-editing software e.g. Wavelab and edit out all of the bits that aren't "you know" so that all it says in the recording is "you know". Save it as MP3 again then send it to them over WhatsApp.

That'll learn them :D

Going to disagree here and say no harm in mentioning it. We all do annoying things that are not the end of the world. And nor is it the end of the world if someone points it out.

I say this as someone who had someone I liked remark to me, 'You say, "you know" a lot, don't you,' casually. And yes, I was a bit embarrassed, but decided she was probably right so took notice of it and tried not to.

My DH does this sometimes, I think it's an anxiety thing.

I find it maddening too OP and along the same lines as people who say 'like' every third word. So many people do it, drives me bonkers!

its dreadful tell them.

Are they all related to Aaron Ramsey the ex Arsenal player because it seemed he would constantly use it in interviews?