To feed my kids to a sabre tooth tiger?

[SleepingStandingUp]

I mean fro man evolutionary perspective, why the hell did shrieking very loud and very ear-splittingly high get passed on as a typical feature of toddlers?

1. The sabre-tooth and his mates can hear you
2. If they come from you, I'm so distracted from the noise I can't protect you
3. If you keep it up, I'll put you outside the cave with a "free-to-eat" sign
4. The quiet toddlers are hiding warmly under the mammoth skin. They're safe and their mother isn't trying to eat fermented fruit to take away the pain of your noise.

Not sure how many sabre tooth tigers there are in the W Mids but would I be unreasonable to at least them get close enough for a lick to teach the toddlers a lesson??

YANBU.

But it means you'll give them whatever the fuck unreasonable thing they want so they don't summon the STTs, and you can't accidentally leave them behind to be eaten by the STTs.

Or...you could take them to Asda, just in case there's a t-rex wandering around the fruit and veg aisle... 🤭

Totally endorse leaving the toddlers outside for the sabre tooth tigers.

Let's face it, if you shout enough to attract the tigers, then why should I bloody bother trying to keep you safe?

I mean Darwin won't exist for hundreds of years but I'm sure survival of the fittest definitely applies here.

They have to learn sometime, and if any of them come back uneaten then you know they will stop shouting.

Signed,
A mother who is sick of the shrieking of her 9 year old.

@EllieSattler

But it means you'll give them whatever the fuck unreasonable thing they want so they don't summon the STTs, and you can't accidentally leave them behind to be eaten by the STTs.

Omg you're right and they're already smarter than me and they're two!! If I'm not careful they'll leave me out to the STTs when I'm ancient at 45

Bloody hell @RozHuntleysLeftHand if it lasts that long I'll turn caninbal and eat them myself. The 6 yo is loud but it's the amplification of twins egging each other on

Thanks @pussycatunpickingcrossesagain, if I ear plugs didn't give me ear ache I'd def be wearing them. Asda and T Rex's is an option, they do like dinosaurs and they roar a lot (the twins, not dinosaurs)