To wonder if anyone else married into wealth?

[Augustorseptember]

Before I met DH, I had a difficult time financially - my job wasn’t actually all that badly paid but I lived in an extremely expensive area and so the only housing I could afford was very basic accommodation. I also got into debt so it wasn’t unusual for me to run out of money by week 2 of the month. My flat was really damp and cold and horribly furnished.

Now things are really different and it’s hard for me not to feel indebted or grateful for this … he has never made me feel like this, it’s my hang up. Anyone else?

@JigglyPiggly

No, no one else on the planet has married into wrath before

Just you

@JigglyPiggly

Don’t be such a bitch.

Not quite the same, but when I met DH he was a passionate and penniless student who was going to go into politics and change the world.

Somewhere along the line he went a bit off piste (maybe when he realized being broke and idealistic isn't fun) and I'm now married to a City Boy who sulks if his bonus isn't big enough. My parents were always struggling for cash, so I regularly have "I can't believe this is my life" moments when doing stuff like staying at 5* hotels, spontaneously going to Michelin starred restaurants or buying my winter boots in Jimmy Choo. I also can't believe it's DS's life and I'm often not sure how to make sure he doesn't turn out to be a privileged monster.

I don't feel indebted to him though, that's a bit weird.

It does take time to adjust I think, but you are as entitled to a nice life as much as anyone. The lift you’ve got via marriage is the same as the lift you get from aspirational parents, a good school, etc.

80k is a good salary but not huge, so I would just focus on enjoying having a good bedrock, and having the freedom to contribute to your relationship/community/the world, in whatever way you can. Having a bit of cash often makes it easier to use your talents.

@Augustorseptember

To be fair I probably have white low ideas of what constitutes wealth. DH isn’t on a six (or even five) figure salary! But nearly £80,000 which is a LOT as far as I am concerned!

Erm so is this 'wealth' based on your partner earning 80k?

Or is he wealthy and earns 80k

As 80,000 is not wealthy by a long shot

I come from a middle class background, but due family circumstances and health issues I was very poor on benefits when I met DH.

He is working class as they come but worked his way up and earns enough for us to be more than comfortably middle class.

It is odd to feel I now have a comfortable life through no fault of my own, but we are a partnership and I feel I bring plenty to the table (just not money). I wouldn't describe myself as having married 'wealth' though.

My DH did I suppose, he was never poor but his living condition were not in the same league as mine at all.

@durking we went to the same gym.