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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Expensive birthday plans

2 replies

Slipperlover · 23/01/2022 09:31

Maybe I am just being a grumpy old cow but I am getting fed up with friends organising expensive birthday plans that I feel obligated to go to. I love my friends and want to celebrate their birthdays but wish they didn’t find the need for extravagant plans every year. We are all women in our 40s and there is something that feels so childish about insisting your friends celebrate your day in a particular way. One friend seems to treat her birthday like a hen do each year. There will be spa days and then meals and nights out. I will usually just opt to join the meal.

I think now that we are older we should be moving more to hosting celebrations if we want people to come. For example I had a party in my garden for my 40th and provided all food and drink. I think once you are able to it’s polite to host the guests you are asking to celebrate with you.

I don’t mind the meeting for drinks or a meal out for someone’s birthday. The thing that i find annoying is when people organise an itinerary and then send you all the costings. If you want people to come to karaoke for your birthday then you should pay for the hire of the karaoke room, not asking your friends for £15 each. I would have understood this in my 20s but a woman in her 40s with a decent income, does anyone else think it’s cringey !

OP posts:
Santaslittlemelter · 23/01/2022 09:34

No, I'm just happy to socialise with my friends. If I really don't fancy an event type including the cost of it, I won't go. But some parties are catered for some are split costs. I don't see what the problem is as long as you know when you are expected to pay for yourself.

StylishMummy · 23/01/2022 09:56

I've got a big birthday next year and I'm planning a nice party but putting money behind the bar and doing a buffet. People shouldn't have to pay to celebrate a birthday unless it's the cost of a card & a drink

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