To want to sleep separately?

[Ellerehj]

I'd like to preface this post by saying my DP is the most amazing man in the world and I love him dearly.

But lord help me when he closes his eyes and falls asleep I fantasise about ways to hurt him.
The second he nods off which usually takes around 4 seconds his legs begin twitching like he's being jabbed with a hot poker. The snoring reaches decibels I'm sure the whole street can hear.

A new fun addition to this is he's started putting his knees up in the night dragging the duvet from me.

I've tried earplugs, rolling him over and just trying to not get so annoyed but I'm a featherlight sleeper and he goes into a different realm as soon as his head hits that pillow. I'm a little envious. No I'm very envious.

We are a young couple so seems like a ridiculous thing at our age. But would you consider separate beds?

He gets very sensitive about the subject as he loves sleeping next to me. I honestly hate it tho, it makes me feel like I'm being horrible but I need my sleep! So AIBU?

Do it. You’ll never look back. Sleep is the most important thing in your life. Without it, you can’t function.

YANBU - he should really stop sulking and have some empathy for you... that sounds absolutely horrible!

@mowly77

Do it. You’ll never look back. Sleep is the most important thing in your life. Without it, you can’t function.

This.

If he loves you, he won't want you in a state of chronic sleep deprivation.

My DH and I sleep apart and it's THE BEST. I absolutely love having my own space at night, I disturbed by snoring/farting/movement/just breathing. We're both so much happier and better rested. Do it; you'll never look back.

My husband and I slept apart for years, only sharing a bed on weekends and always with separate duvets. We've just upgraded to a superking and are tentatively trying to share a room again but still have the spare room as a bolt hole at least once a week. Sleep is so important and I just can't function without at least a few undisturbed nights a week.

I could have written this 3 years ago.

I told my then DP now DH and he predictably got all upset and insisted separate rooms wasn't what he wanted.
I was calm and neutral and said okay I'll meet you halfway but I can't live on 3 hours sleep a night indefinitely- it's not fair to me. You need to get treatment and see a doctor for me as much as for yourself. If you don't it's separate rooms.
He said it wasn't that bad, I said how would he know and if it was the other way round I would be sorting this as its selfish not to even try.
He said yes i see your point and then didn't do anything.
I gave it 2 days and then I started to sleep separately.
He got all upset and I reminded him I needed to sleep, the next day he sorted it and a week later went to doctors.
He then got medication/nasal sprays which made an improvement, but not perfect. Then after a couple of months i realised he had started dicking around and was not taking it consistently. At all.
I did the naive routine and old him "the medication isn't working" he should go back to the Dr he refused and argued then eventually confessed the truth... I told him it was fine/his choice but we needed to sleep separately then...
And I slept separately for a week.

He now takes it religiously / consistently and life it good. He is currently next to me breathing semi normally

Actions and choices have consequences.

Also we also got a super king with two separate linked coil sprung mattresses which helped hugely with movement
Despite my protestations he is still refusing point blank to try the German 2 duvet method though (the swine!)

Do it, it is amazing. Never once looked back. I don't understand why people don't sleep separately if they have the space. Just having time actually alone is wonderful.

We sleep apart for two weeks of the month for religious reasons and it's bliss. A lot of people are surprised and horrified at this practice, but it has so many advantages!

Do it.

I spent 2 nights in the spare room last week due to my own sleep issues. I was very reluctant to go back to sharing with DH (probably only did because he’s going away for a week soon).