To resign because my job suddenly requires me in 3 days a week?

[Earlyflash]

We got told on Friday that we would be required to do a minimum of three days a week in the office from monday.

I’m new at the company (4 months) and this was never mentioned in the recruitment phase. That said I didn’t push them for a written answer.

Given we’ve spent the last two years working 100% at home, this seems like a massive overreach, and I’m intending to tell them to do one.

It’s going to have such an impact on me, my partner, and my children (from previous relationship).

I already have interviews for fully remote roles.

So, AIBU for reacting to such a request?

@worriedatthemoment

It does make me wonder how some are wfh with children doing normal hrs our contract says we can not be in sole charge of young child or similar whilst working from home ( during work hrs ) there is flexibility to do school runs or collections and make hrs up by having shorter lunch etc But you read on here people saying yes no childcare as i wfh and have 5 year olds , a10 year old for a couple hrs is different to a 5 year old

I've wondered this. I would be really pissed off if I knew a colleague was looking after their kids during work time while I was working.

Sorry - am sick of talking to people WFH who get interupted by their children mid meeting, conversation etc - there is no way you work as well when DCs are around.

If you WFH and have your DCS in child care - complete respect you are doing it right.
However, the number of people here who think it is OK to sneak off for 2 hrs to pick up kids etc and are unavailable for a few hours during the day and expect to be paid are taking the piss.

We are still relying on pre pandemic work relations and knowledge of groups and team working. If you sit at home and never interact outside a computer screen then you are not an effective team member and the dynamics are completely different.

Hybrid 3:2, 4:1 is far more realistic.

So yes OP - I do think you are being unreasonable in your response to them but not being unreasonable in looking for a new job

Does having your ten year old entertaining themselves for two hours after school count in the outrage ?

Have paid over the years for:

• childminder
• nursery
• childminder again with afterschool club
• afterschool nanny whom we had to let go when pandemic started

Now my son is 10, 11 in a few months and we have no childcare again ( no afterschool club available in SEN school).

He comes home from school, has a snack, games with his friends until I switch off my PC at 5:30 or 6 and make his dinner

@missfliss i think age is very relevant as older ones can get themselves drinks snacks etc and don't need constant supervision
My work do say though not sole care of a child whilst working or something similar , they would be ok in certain circumstances aa one off but I think there is some who think they can have a baby and wfh , which if you have a totally non scheduled hrs job that may be possible but if your expected to work between 8-4 etc thats unrealistic to be able to do both

I wouldn't have been able to my job with him at home when he was younger. Not at all.

I'm client facing in a socialist industry.

However we have struggled with childcare since he moved to a SEND school and whilst we have managed it took a lot of sorting out to find suitable people who wanted those hours.

WFH suits me and my employer as I am more available for clients with no commute and rigid nanny-end times ( I work with corporate clients in multiple time zones) and seeing as my son is old enough to manage himself afterschool ( but would not be safe home alone) I also have less stress, and no £600 PCM after school nanny bull.

Thankfully my husband is a teacher and so holidays are coveted

Specialist industry not socialist ( although that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing)

Gah bill not bull and covered not coveted!

Hope you got gist

@missfliss £600 is a huge saving and you can clearly see why in your situation it works
And to be fair it works in employers benefit if child is ill in short term as some can do at least some work at home rather than not going in at all and staying home
I used to think this when my kids were younger with my old job they would not be happy I wasn't in but I could of done a fair bit from home whilst ill child slept or when dh was home but they wouldn't allow this

YABU

I agree it is super age dependent.

I wholeheartedly and 100% acknowledge that 2 years ago it would not have been possible or fair to my employer for me not to have childcare in place even if I was WFH and it was just after school.

I just think that in lots of cases the infrastructure hasn't caught up yet for many peoples return to the office - childcare in particular.

Adequate notice would be fair and reasonable - not one working day !

some jobs suit home working really well and others simply don’t— same with family situation and home situation— however unless a job is advertised right from the beginning as remote- then it’s unreasonable to presume it always will be— businesses change- needs change and one day a week coming in might suddenly be 3 — hence why those people who’ve moved to Yorkshire or Somerset orcwherever and are now realising their job does require them going in (and this is up to the management) are suddenly realising that it isn’t quite what they thought

Yes agreed. My husband was initially asked to go in 2 days; it's now 5. We've also had notes through our door trying to buy our house for silly £ (sw London family home good location)

I agree it is super age dependent.

Possibly yet another area of life where not being a parent (or in my case being parent to a 20 something ) is an advantage. Once again squeezing families (by which I mean women) of a certain demographic.

If a particular aspect of your job no longer works for you then it’s not unreasonable to look for a new job.

@missfliss SEN schools rarely have wraparound care or holiday clubs.
People don’t understand how difficult it is for working parents, especially single parents with SEN children, particularly once they get to secondary school.

Many SEN children are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves at home while parent/s work in other rooms.

Employers need to allow for this.

Thank you @MarshaBradyo

@DGRossetti

I agree it is super age dependent.

Possibly yet another area of life where not being a parent (or in my case being parent to a 20 something ) is an advantage. Once again squeezing families (by which I mean women) of a certain demographic.

This is very true.

Sadly, I don’t think anything will change in the near future, certainly not in my lifetime.

Lack of childcare (beyond after school and breakfast clubs) has certainly impacted my professional career progression as I earn less than dh so have to be the emergency childcare parent.

Many of my female colleagues are the same, often come to work frazzled after being up all night with poorly kids and having to juggle childcare. Or being thought badly if if they need to leave bang on time.

It’s a form of misogyny I feel.

Just look for another job.
Mrs hr was told upon renegotiation her role would include some homeworking.
So 1 day in the office.
4 at home.

Now they've asked her to do 2 in the office.
3 at home.

Temporarily she's doing every day atm, training a new member of staff.
The future for us lies in her being independent with her own business so we don't have to make plans that center around what an employer wants.

@Finallylostit

Sorry - am sick of talking to people WFH who get interupted by their children mid meeting, conversation etc - there is no way you work as well when DCs are around.

If you WFH and have your DCS in child care - complete respect you are doing it right.
However, the number of people here who think it is OK to sneak off for 2 hrs to pick up kids etc and are unavailable for a few hours during the day and expect to be paid are taking the piss.

We are still relying on pre pandemic work relations and knowledge of groups and team working. If you sit at home and never interact outside a computer screen then you are not an effective team member and the dynamics are completely different.

Hybrid 3:2, 4:1 is far more realistic.

So yes OP - I do think you are being unreasonable in your response to them but not being unreasonable in looking for a new job

Why is it unreasonable to expect a company to stick to their plan - in that case 1 day a week rather than 3 as they to,d her during the interview?

And why is it unreasonable to expect more than 1 day notice to get organised?
Many people have other responsibilities, not just childcare they juggle around their work. So if one person has organised to go and look after an elderly parent because they are working from home and suddenly they have an hour commute atvthe end of the day, they will impact said caring. Is that ok to give only ONE day notice?

The fact that you are interrupted by children during meeting is not here nor there tbh. If you have such an issue within your organisation, talk to your manager. The issue is with the company, not the individual as such.
Of you have such an issue as a customer, contact customer service.
But pushing everyone, including those who do NOT have children constantly interrupting them is not the way to solve the issue. Instead it’s pushing women back into the office, some of them struggling more than they were before. Why would you want to do that??

You need a lot less childcare if you work from home and would otherwise have a substantial commute.

When I worked from home I was able to drop ds at breakfast club at 8 and then I could nip out and collect him at 3 or after an activity at 4 (his primary school is a 2 minute walk away). He was old enough to occupy himself for the last hour or so of my working day.

But if I had to go into the office I would need him to go to the childminder at 7.30 and collect from her just before 6. Big difference.

Entitled much. Surely you knew when covid was over you’d need to go to work?

@ontana

It takes no account of people who may need to make arrangements for childcare, commuting or other responsibilities. Some of which will have changed,

Don't people need childcare whether you wfh or not?

Depends very much on the age of the dc I assume. My 8 year old could walk home from school and entertain herself if I worked from home, for example. For a 2 year old not so much. Many wfh people will do the school run and make up that time in the evening also. Depends on the job. Assume in this case as it's from a a previous relationship it affects contact time which also might cause issues for the children's mum

Wow that is a short turn around. I would expect there would be a number of people to struggle to change things round that quickly.

If a WFH role is what you are after, speak to HR and see if it is doable. If not explain you are unable to make that change that quickly due to childcare or whatever.
I wouldn't recommend telling them to do one though. References are important! Apply for a new role if necessary but have a conversation first and foremost.
Also look at your contract as it should state in there where your "place of work" is.

It’s a difficult one this. Personally I don’t think you are being unreasonable so voted that way. If you’ve managed the job just fine in the past few months working from home then why can’t that continue ?

If you would prefer to keep the job then try to compromise down to maybe one or two days a week, if that’s out of the question then maybe an alternative is better suited

OP, I think the Work from home days are over!

I have been actively recruiting and some of the applicants turned down positions with us - global tech company - as we are going hybrid initially but will likely end up where we were at the beginning of 2020
Which was office based.
If you can find a fully remote job swamp now! There will be loads of people looking for these kind of roles going forward.
Wish I did a role which was fully flexible 😞