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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you work from home do your children go to after school club?

99 replies

TildaRae · 22/01/2022 21:40

I have a job that is 100% home working. Currently my reception child goes to after school club mon-wed till 5.30 (he goes to my mums on a Thursday and he has a school sport club on Friday which finishes at 4.30). He goes to breakfast club all week.

I have toyed with the idea of collecting him at normal school finish time on Wednesdays and having him at home for the last 2 hours of my working day (8.30-5.30). Does anyone do this? I can’t change the breakfast club unfortunately. Someone made a throwaway comment ‘I didn’t have a child for someone else to raise them’ and it’s made me doubt my current arrangements.

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 23/01/2022 17:22

Yes although if I know I can do it I will pick him up when school finishes but if I have meetings I leave him in ASC until after I finish.

headintheproverbial · 23/01/2022 17:37

I hardly think a few hours of after school clubs counts as someone else raising your child. You're hardly Lady Mary.

Surely your child is better served playing with friends under adult supervision than in front of the tv which you'd presumably have to do?

People like you make employers distrust home working women.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 23/01/2022 17:39

Most the parents in my kids Reception class ( who wfh) seem to collect at 3.15 and then let them chill at home until they finish work, my son would love this but I can’t wfh.

yummychoccy · 23/01/2022 17:40

I was trying to fit my WFH hours to finish at 3pm for pick up and then to do an hour on laptop when we got home.. but it was actually really stressful to fit all of the meetings and proper work in that time.. since September have been doing after school club and although I feel guilty about him being at school longer, my stress levels have reduced and I have more time to do stuff.

SevenIs · 23/01/2022 17:42

I’m a sahm and my son goes to breakfast and after school club . Dh drops him before work and collects him after as I have a younger child who I can’t take on the school run

museumum · 23/01/2022 17:44

Mine is at asc whenever I’m working. Two hours with his friends and dedicated playworkers is far better than being ignored by me as I try to work.
I pick him up when I’m finished and can give him dedicated quality attention.

The worst thing about the pandemic for me was the feeling that 90% of my interactions with ds were essentially telling him to be quiet or go away because I had to work 😔

BrokenCopper · 23/01/2022 17:47

Yes when DD in reception year, her best friends went to the same childminder too so everyone was happy. She stopped going since covid, so as her friends, she is 8 now and happy to play on her own and with her teen siblings when she gets home, a lot more freedom than at childminder, she will be devastated if I send her off to childminder again.

watchingrnfire · 23/01/2022 17:50

Mine are home after school, I'll still be working. They have online tuition when they get home, so they get on with that. Then watch a bit of tv, read a book and do any homework they have.

HopefulProcrastinator · 23/01/2022 18:01

Neither of mine would have been OK with my working whilst they were home with me at Reception age to be honest.

We don't use clubs now I'm WFH permanently unless it's something she wants to do, like football. My youngest is 9 now though so is perfectly content just chilling while she waits for me to finish.

Ricepops · 23/01/2022 22:33

Yes my 7 and 4 year old are in wraparound care even though DH works 100% from home. Both of us have regular meetings around school pickup time. I do try to start work early though so that I can get them picked up and home for 5pm (as long as I don't have meetings). However I seem to know a lot of people who don't use ASC, especially since COVID.

I also have a flexible working agreement at work that I will work a bit extra during the week so that I can do school pickup on Fridays.

During the school holidays, we have had a couple of occasions where we had the 7 year old at home while we WFH (and 4 year old was at nursery). DS would watch TV, play on his Switch etc and generally entertain himself for most of the day, but I would say that it wouldn't work for more than the odd day as he does start to get bored after a few hours.

PicnicPie · 23/01/2022 23:01

My yr 3 and Yr 4 dds do not go to asc. We both work from home until 6pm. Through covid they are used to us working and respect our work space. One of us collects at 3.15, home at 3.30. They change and have snack. Then tv time until 430. Then homework/spelling/reading until 5 /530. Then free time until we do dinner. Two days a week they have an online class and one day day week they have karate. Occasionally they do a school club if there is one they are interested in. That's plenty for them. They play in their room, on the switch, colour, craft. They can be trusted to be sensible, most of the time. They have their own playroom so can manage by themselves for those hours we are working. They also can come and sit with us quietly and do their work/play on devices whilst we are working. Works for us and they've become more responsible as a result.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/01/2022 23:04

My 7yo (nearly 8) goes to a CM after school til I finish work at 5. I don’t want him sitting around the house being ignored after school, I want him to have someone interacting with him. It’s fine on occasion but not every day.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/01/2022 23:04

Dd is 13 and just comes home on her own at the normal time. I stop for a quick chat with her when she gets in - it also means she does get that chat without her brother about!

AskingforaBaskin · 23/01/2022 23:16

I work from home 100% of the time. I have 3 DC
DS 1 and DD1 are 7 & 5 I have no childcare and do the school run in the morning and then the other school run during my fixed time lunch break.

DD2 is 2 and she goes to nursery some days but I have cut it back quite a bit because the bill was not fun.

Is what it is.

ballroompink · 23/01/2022 23:17

My 9yo (Y5) cycles home from school by himself or with a friend and then chills until DH picks DC2 up from childcare. DC2 starts Reception this year and we will try to get him an ASC place though as I think 5 is too young to be left to their own devices for a couple of hours. He would just come and bother us when we were trying to work!

HappyDays40 · 24/01/2022 00:34

I hate having my Y1 son at home while working he goes 5 days a week. He is nightmarish when he gets home and starts arsing about with the computer.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 24/01/2022 00:45

We still send our y6 son to ASC 3 days a week even though DH is WFH. It's for his own good really because otherwise he would spend even more time on devices/ in front of a screen than he already does. If there were any clubs he'd go to at school he could do those instead but he won't so ASC it is so he will at least run around with his mates or play a real world game. We wouldn't be 'raising him' in the sense of giving him any care or attention in those few hours after school whilst we are supposed to be working in any case. I genuinely think it's better for him to be at ASC than getting ignored at home.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 24/01/2022 00:50

The 14yr old does her own thing. By secondary age that's expected I think. She has a club once a week and otherwise takes herself home and will go to a mates/ do homework/ do whatever teens do in their rooms until we are finished working.

ballroompink · 24/01/2022 07:42

So interesting that so many PPs are talking about ASCs not being used post lockdown! Ours is so oversubscribed that there is a waiting list and older children are at the bottom of the pile. There were two ASCs serving DC1's school but one closed due to the pandemic and so there has been twice the number of children needing a place this year.

isthisouting · 24/01/2022 08:01

Planning on doing this with my 3yo as there is no other option - so collecting them at 3pm and working until 4pm but only once a week. It's the first time they will be at preschool while I'm working, family have been looking after them on other days (different shifts), and I'd much rather them have the stimulation of school then drive 30 mins to family (who my DC adores but it's not spending time with peers and teachers) for the sake of one hour. DC is responsible and mature for 3yo but I'm going to have to see how it goes. No ASC option here or I'd jump at the chance!

TheYearOfSmallThings · 24/01/2022 08:19

So interesting that so many PPs are talking about ASCs not being used post lockdown! Ours is so oversubscribed that there is a waiting list

At DS's school there was a big drop in use, partly because so many families had to make other arrangements when their DC couldn't go to school.

Now it is oversubscribed because this year's Reception parents applied for and got all the vacant places, so the older children who left can't get back in.

BearimyJeremy · 24/01/2022 08:26

Mine used to on one or two days to give me flexibility to go to client sites on the odd occasion or to just crack on without interruption. It also was good for them to play with their friends for a couple of hours and usually lots of outdoorsy running around. Better than plonked in front of the telly especially post lockdown when they had been so cooped up.

milkysmum · 24/01/2022 08:30

Yes if I'm working from home I collect ds from school and then log back on. He is 10 ( year 5) and school is 5 mins round the corner ( sometimes he walks back, it depends ).

MabelsApron · 24/01/2022 09:48

@RedskyThisNight

Virtually all my colleagues with school age children do this. I wouldn't want to comment on their productivity, but it's much harder to organise meetings after 3pm.

Agree. It's an unspoken rule now that any meetings between 8.30am-10am and 2.30pm-5pm are attended by childless workers.

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