Long story as short as possible (sorry it's complicated) I haven't seen my in laws for nearly 5 years. DH sees them on a regular basis with DSD (now nearly 13yo, who lives with her mum/nan and stays with us once a fortnight), DD hasn't seen in laws since she was 2 (doesn't remember them) and DS has never met them. I don't deny their existence, my kids are aware they exist, they send a card as Xmas/birthday, but have had zero contact for 5 years. There was a big falling out with DSD mother, a lot of nasty things said, DSD has been emotionally abused by her mother for years, turned against me and her father and made up some lies which got taken seriously and I was forever more the wicked stepmother and banned by the mother from seeing DSD, a lot of blackmail was used, couldn't go to court as waiting times extreme, and she would have stopped my husband's contact with his daughter if we did. Thought it would blow over...it didn't....in laws took sides with DSD mother, agreed they'd have DSD on our weekends to keep her away from me, and that continued with my husband having her at his parents until the pandemic hit and they were shielding. By the end of 2020 DSD was once again allowed to see me, basically only because her mother wanted her weekends off back, and DSD wanted to come, but had been denied by her mother for years. The relationship between DSD and I will never be the same, I try but too much damage is done, however I support her having a relationship with her dad and siblings and just take a back seat. At the time of this falling out my in laws told my husband they wouldn't apologise to me as they didn't want me to have the upper hand? Not even sure what they meant by that. Anyway I was extremely hurt, I used to do a lot for them and DSD, but from then I simply didn't see them, they didn't call, the relationship was dead, and before you know it years had passed. My DH now wants us to all play happy families, and wants us all to go see his parents! Don't know why, this is him, not them asking, not even sure they want to see me, although he says they do, I've had no contact at all. To be quite honest life has been a lot easier without them in it! They have always helped my husband's ex with childcare, yet when pregnant with DD they made a point of saying on several occasions they wouldn't be looking after the baby?! Not that I had asked?! In the 2 years they were in Dd's life they never once baby say but had DSD and nieces and nephews often, which I always found a bit hurtful. My DD has ASD and was undergoing assesment when she was 2 and I always wondered if that was why? Anyway am I being unreasonable to not want to see in laws? Too much time has passed in my view and it would probably cause more problems, but I don't want to upset DH either. WWYD?