To be fed up of residents being hostile towards me (carer)

[Lifeisverylongwhenyourelonely]

Work part time as a home carer in quite an upmarket area. A few of my calls are in the same 2 retirement complexes, and as far as I've seen there are residents who have visits from another care company.

I go in wearing a mask, my uniform and ID badge on display and I have the access code to get in, I'm clearly not fiddling about with the codes or anything.

However some other residents (not the ones receiving care calls) are quite hostile and sometimes bordering on rude when I go in. I. An understand some are elderly and potentially scared, however there are carers, nurses and sometimes paramedics in and out of the building due to the age group, it's not like I'm the only one to ever go in.

Whispers asking what I'm doing here, a man came to the door and asked me what my 'purpose' here was.
I had an hour gap between 2 calls and nowhere else to go (too far to go home and don't have a car to wait in) didn't want to walk around in the cold, so I sat in the lounge, I have seen contractors sitting in there and I thought it would be ok as I'm a familiar face surely by now. A resident was staring at me from her door so I asked her if all was ok. She told me 'You are NOT allowed to sit in the lounge." I tried to explain the situation but I was still booted out, luckily found a bar I could sit in. Not sure if it's an actual rule or just her own.

The first time I saw the house manager, there was no hello or any sort of manners, just 'WHERE are you going' as if I were some sort of hardened criminal.

There's an elderly resident who apparently has dementia. I am on a bike and each time he stands and watches me in an intimidating manner and tells me that I am not to bring the bike inside the building, even though I don't. One time I hadn't seen him for a while and he said 'Oh I thought we'd gotten rid of you, shame we haven't'.

He has also followed me up two floors before. I used to be polite but now I don't even look him in the eye, I don't engage whatsoever.

The woman who told me I can't wait in the lounge also once told me I wasn't allowed to leave my bike outside, it's not obstructing anyone or. Anything, not sure where I'm meant to put it.

It's just getting a bit annoying, I'm always polite with them. Not sure if they're like this because I'm young and they think I'm some 'kid' even though I'm in my 30s. I understand they might be scared but I'm getting put off going to the calls.

That housing manager also referred to me to my colleague as a 'young girl'

I would talk to your company that employs you about this. The situation with the lounge may be correct and you are not allowed to use it, but the other contractors you saw got away with it for some reason. However if you are constantly getting stopped and questioned that is not very good and needs addressing.

Yes you're right I should ask them. I definitely think the bike 'rule' was made up though.
I have seen the same contractor sat there on 2/3 different occasions.
The older man with dementia stands and stares at me until I am out of sight, every time without failure. I have mentioned it before but nothing came of it

The lounge thing may be because it’s their home and they don’t feel relaxed with random staff sitting in it? I think that is fair enough and although very annoying for you, I would try and find other arrangements.

The thing about the man with dementia is just silly though. Come on, he has dementia. Of course he might say something that could be inappropriate; that’s kind of a given, no? Just be kind and understanding.

The other staff being rude to you is unacceptable though.

you don't work with an agency do you?

No not an agency
Yes that's true it's to be expected, but him following me upstairs late at night is intimidating

I do find some blocks of sheltered housing / restricted criteria are very odd environments in residents reaction to me as a carer. I think it's often to do with internal politics. They are not a care home (and will tell me that often) and it's as though some residents object to the presence of the sort of support workers that are maintaing a level of independence. One in particular i visit the residents have said "you better be temporary, this isn't somewhere you can live if you need care". I work for one of the more private care agencies, calls vary all the way between home help and personal care, we are very discreet and obviously aren't about to share information (who would?!) But I've been asked if I'm there because [name] should be in a home. Etc. Awful. I'm often shocked by how unsympathetic/ caring some of these people are to other residents. I'd hate to socialise with some, they are shockingly rude about the need for support (it's because she/ he's lazy, off her rocker etc I've also heard )

I worked caring for elderly people for many years and some of them can be very rude and have no filter.

I found being straight and assertive with them was the best way. If they sense you're feeling intimidated it can embolden them to keep pushing it. Just be matter of fact. Keep communication polite and open, but don't be intimidated.

Try some friendly humour with the person who has dementia. Quite a bit of dementia can involve feelings of suspicion and even paranoia. People can be reassured by telling them your name, why you're there and then giving them a bit of friendly attention. That can warm people up a bit. If you're both viewing each other with suspicion then it doesn't make for good communication opportunities.

Handling someone with dementia is always difficult, especially outside your own service users. Logging the incidents repeatedly might have your company query with the housing provider (maybe??) He might need more support himself if he's acting inappropriately.

Oh. I agree. Being friendly but blunt is usually your best path. "Hello again, I'm just going to number X. See you again. "
"Good morning, My bike needs to be outside so I can get around for my job"
The hour break "I am working here and this is my break, there's nowhere else for that, is there?" (Though i must admit I leave these places for my breaks)